NEW HERE? LEARN MORE
closeclose
Last visit was: 28 Apr 2024, 08:18 It is currently 28 Apr 2024, 08:18
Decision Tracker
My Rewards
New posts
New comers' posts

Close
GMAT Club Daily Prep
Thank you for using the timer - this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.

Customized
for You

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Track
Your Progress

every week, we’ll send you an estimated GMAT score based on your performance

Practice
Pays

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History
Not interested in getting valuable practice questions and articles delivered to your email? No problem, unsubscribe here.
Go to My Error Log Learn more
Close
Request Expert Reply
Confirm Cancel

Terrible sentence...spot the problems

User avatar
hd54321
Current Student
Joined: 03 Oct 2006
Posts: 49
Own Kudos [?]: [0]
Given Kudos: 0
Send PM
Terrible sentence...spot the problems [#permalink] New post   14 Aug 2007, 07:26
https://www.wsoctv.com/news/13882347/detail.html

"York County sheriff's deputies are looking for two men who couldn't decide whether or not to rob a convenience store, then finally went in and did it late Sunday."



Archived Topic
Hi there,
This topic has been closed and archived due to inactivity or violation of community quality standards. No more replies are possible here.
Where to now? Join ongoing discussions on thousands of quality questions in our Verbal Questions Forum
Still interested in this question? Check out the "Best Topics" block below for a better discussion on this exact question, as well as several more related questions.
Thank you for understanding, and happy exploring!
User avatar
bmwhype2
VP
VP
Joined: 21 Jan 2007
Posts: 1346
Own Kudos [?]: 5012 [0]
Given Kudos: 4
Location: New York City
Send PM
Re: Terrible sentence...spot the problems [#permalink] New post   14 Aug 2007, 07:30
lol spot the errors in yesterday's ny times.


Moreover, bankers and investors say, the strategies employed tend to be not only duplicable but broadly followed — the result being a packlike tendency that has helped increase market volatility and, for some hedge funds, has led to losses in the last month.

The managers of these funds are the products of the trading desks of the big investment banks, like Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley, both of which have investment operations that use computer models.
User avatar
hd54321
Current Student
Joined: 03 Oct 2006
Posts: 49
Own Kudos [?]: [0]
Given Kudos: 0
Send PM
Re: Terrible sentence...spot the problems [#permalink] New post   14 Aug 2007, 07:40
bmwhype2 wrote:
lol spot the errors in yesterday's ny times.


Moreover, bankers and investors say, the strategies employed tend to be not only duplicable but broadly followed — the result being a packlike tendency that has helped increase market volatility and, for some hedge funds, has led to losses in the last month.

The managers of these funds are the products of the trading desks of the big investment banks, like Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley, both of which have investment operations that use computer models.


1) Idiom: Not only, but also
2) hyphen can be replaced with a semicolon as they are 2 independent clauses
3) Being can be replaced with a simple verb, is
4) "like Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley" - this is getting picky, but the sentence could use a different comparative phrase like "such as"

I'm happy that I'm starting to analyze sentences in everyday life. Makes me feel that my studying is working.
User avatar
bmwhype2
VP
VP
Joined: 21 Jan 2007
Posts: 1346
Own Kudos [?]: 5012 [0]
Given Kudos: 4
Location: New York City
Send PM
Re: Terrible sentence...spot the problems [#permalink] New post   15 Aug 2007, 07:46
hd54321 wrote:
bmwhype2 wrote:
lol spot the errors in yesterday's ny times.


Moreover, bankers and investors say, the strategies employed tend to be not only duplicable but broadly followed — the result being a packlike tendency that has helped increase market volatility and, for some hedge funds, has led to losses in the last month.

The managers of these funds are the products of the trading desks of the big investment banks, like Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley, both of which have investment operations that use computer models.


1) Idiom: Not only, but also
2) hyphen can be replaced with a semicolon as they are 2 independent clauses
3) Being can be replaced with a simple verb, is
4) "like Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley" - this is getting picky, but the sentence could use a different comparative phrase like "such as"

I'm happy that I'm starting to analyze sentences in everyday life. Makes me feel that my studying is working.


the parts are not parallel too.
User avatar
seofah
Senior Manager
Senior Manager
Joined: 29 Aug 2005
Posts: 487
Own Kudos [?]: 2919 [0]
Given Kudos: 7
Concentration: Finance, Entrepreneurship
 Q50  V40
Send PM
Re: Terrible sentence...spot the problems [#permalink] New post   16 Aug 2007, 05:54
hd54321 wrote:
https://www.wsoctv.com/news/13882347/detail.html

"York County sheriff's deputies are looking for two men who couldn't decide whether or not to rob a convenience store, then finally went in and did it late Sunday."


The sentence is indeed badly constructed. My version would be the following:

York County sheriff's deputies are looking for two men who couldn't decide whether to rob a convenience store, but who finally robbed it late Sunday.
User avatar
beckee529
Senior Manager
Senior Manager
Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 402
Own Kudos [?]: 1749 [0]
Given Kudos: 0
Send PM
Re: Terrible sentence...spot the problems [#permalink] New post   16 Aug 2007, 06:33
:lol:

Okay guys.. this is when you know that GMAT studying has taken over your lives!!!!!! I find myself scrutinizing the daily emails I send out for work and correcting everything else I see! :shock:
User avatar
seofah
Senior Manager
Senior Manager
Joined: 29 Aug 2005
Posts: 487
Own Kudos [?]: 2919 [0]
Given Kudos: 7
Concentration: Finance, Entrepreneurship
 Q50  V40
Send PM
Re: Terrible sentence...spot the problems [#permalink] New post   16 Aug 2007, 07:27
beckee529 wrote:
:lol:

Okay guys.. this is when you know that GMAT studying has taken over your lives!!!!!! I find myself scrutinizing the daily emails I send out for work and correcting everything else I see! :shock:


At least I am learning to understand my own written work... :lol:



Archived Topic
Hi there,
This topic has been closed and archived due to inactivity or violation of community quality standards. No more replies are possible here.
Where to now? Join ongoing discussions on thousands of quality questions in our Verbal Questions Forum
Still interested in this question? Check out the "Best Topics" block above for a better discussion on this exact question, as well as several more related questions.
Thank you for understanding, and happy exploring!
GMAT Club Bot
gmatclubot
Re: Terrible sentence...spot the problems [#permalink]
16 Aug 2007, 07:27
Moderators:
gmat1393
Retired Moderator
654 posts
u1983
Current Student
733 posts
MikeScarn
Current Student
278 posts

Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group | Emoji artwork provided by EmojiOne
Main navigation
GMAT Resources
Partners
MBA Resources
www.gmac.com|www.mba.com | | GMAT Club Rules | Terms and Conditions