Sunday 14th september, at the pearson professional centre , there was a question for me, and it elicited little interest.
I mean, all the pain i had undergone in the last 4 hrs, other than the pain , disappointment, tearful moments that had kept me company for the last 4-1/2 months, was suddenly overpowered by my sense of realisation that ' if not the GMAT , what else?' i suddenly came to terms with the fact that there are other things to do and move on in life, just like a relationship gone sour. But no matter what, life should go on........
"Sir, The computer is asking whether you want to see your score or not" -- The test administrator was next to me, hinting that i click 'yes'. well, anyway ,since i had got mentally prepared to get #@$ed, i said , "i'm not interested . you press the yes, , and i'll be at the reception. pls give me the printout".
What i saw however, a few seconds later almost sent my pulse rate soaring...
I saw a 7 in the hundreds digit , and on staring at the screen, i saw 700.
Quant- 50 Verbal-34.
About 5 months back , i decided that i would take the GMAT . I had lost total touch with my basics (i'm an engineer by qualification and an entrepreneur by profession). It was almost 4 yrs since i had any touch with my academics.i lost almost about 2-3 weeks , frantically trying to know what to study , from where to get it , and where do i stand etc etc. It was extremely excruciating to search for what is reqd to study , how much to study etc etc.
Almost 1 month into my preparation, i saw the gMAT CLUB website. i came here just by chance, only to become a perennial fan of the website. From here , i read different experiences, and stories of how people had beaten the gmat. Soon, i realised that GMAT took on personal overtones, rather than a larger sense of purpose. It became a person whom i had to fight and at the same time something i had to respect as i knew that disobeying the GMAT could cost me heavily.
I would sit for hours together in front of the screen from morning till i went to work, and as soon as i got back in the evening it would be computer. But as time passed and the date came closer , i realised that things were becoming worse. i was beginning to forget a lot of things. In the bargain, i had begin to lose lot of weight, and in my dreams, all i was getting was my friends, who were offering me different materials,a day prior to the exam ,telling me that if i studied it , i would score well. I stopped talking to people. I stopped going out. It was just sleep , drink ,eat gmat.But the thing was still elusive. i got a score of 550 on the kaplan 3 weeks prior to the exam and was devastated.
But the only thing i did'nt lose was my optimism."I always thought that i'm 100% true to myself. if things are not happening , probably its just my luck or destiny or whatever".Whenever i got a set back, i was always optimistic thinking that"i should improve, and i WILL do it in the next exam. There were days when i would feel lonely and miserable.Days which stil give me nightmares, when i reminsce about them. But i just fought back , and fought back and kept on fighting .........
GMAT PREP 1 .630( 3 days after Kaplan test).
This is where i differed from a lot of people. I dont think that prep is a true indicator of your actual marks.I kept telling myself "I CAN DO BETTER , I WILL NOT GIVE UP".It was very painful, as it was exerting a lot of pressure on my mind. Trust me , to get 630 2-1/2 weeks prior to your exam can be very difficult to assess. But being the fighter that i'am i kept the same mantra going on "im not giving up. i can do better. I WILL JUST NOT GIVE UP'
My eating habits became irregular, my sleeping habits went for a toss. i would sleep for 4-5 hrs, get up feeling heavy at 5 in the morning and sit in front of the computer with a cardboard, some scratch sheets and my pen. Books were strewn all around the house, and i had a minimum of 5 pens with me at any time. blue, green, red ,etc to mark the difficulty level of problems in the book.
Also, since im not an IT background , studying from the computer was a new thing. It took me almost 1month to get used to studying from the computer. My eyes used to water and i could not stare at the screen for a long time.But i thought to myself 'i dont mind giving my life for this thing'. And to worsen things, i also had a new business , which had to be tended to, along with teething technical and other managerial problems.As time passed , i saw no signs of improvement. Things were just getting worse. And to compound problems, i was beginning to get a headache as a result of sitting in front of the system.
"IS IT REALLY WORTH ALL THIS ? "I used to think.i talked to a lot of people who had taken the exam. I realised certain areas of weakness. There were times , when i used to hear stories like , "i got 720 on the prep and got 660 later on in the actual exam. i got 750 on the prep and got 690 later on".I thought to myself "if i'm getting 630 17 days prior to the exam, how much can i expect in the actual exam? probably 590?. i realised that time was soon running out for me , and i had two weeks to go and my pseudo sense of pride to salvage.
GMATPREP 2 (680). 13 days prior to exam.
This was a slight encouragement. I thought to myself. Probably the GMAT has realised whom it is taking on, and decided to play safe. That day i felt slightly better.As time passed, i had a roller coaster experience. But the only thing i kept telling myself was , "i will give everthing i have , till the last second " and thats what precisely i did. i intensified my studies in the last few days going on for almost 12-16 hrs at a stretch. i told the gmat "if you are tough, i'm tougher"
GMAT PREP 1(750)1 week prior to exam.
This may appear good, but i felt not too happy , as i saw a lot of repeat questions.But it was a sort of mental boost. i felt yes, im getting somewhere
GMAT PREP 2(730) 3 days prior to the exam
This was the real butt kicker. i felt a sense of pride and victory, when i saw this. Though some questions did repeat, it was a minority.It was a big risk i took to take the exam 3 days prior to the actual exam , as it could have swung either way. A setback could have had devastating effect on my mind.
Strangely, on the day of the exam, i had a sense of detatchment with this stupid thing. i thought to myself , i have put in enough. i must have clocked how many hrs , i dont know, sitting in front of the system.Still I went into the exam hall, with pensive mood.But later on i felt more lighter . Maths was really easy i felt( probably when one solves almost 3000 problems in two months, i guess it is bound to happen).No probability , no work-time, no distance , no mixtures. nothing . I thought 'since im getting easy questions, probably i'm doing very badly' I had a good time talking to the test administrator and was informed that one student had scored 790 i the morning. we spent the break just casually talking.
Verbal .....- well, what can i say about this fella? the lesser said , the better. The other unexpected thing that happened to me was that during both the breaks , i went to the loo, and as a result , my stomach became totally empty. i lost all my concentration, as i had not taken anything to eat during the break( how am i supposed to know that my stomach will act so weird????
).i almost collapsed in the last 10 minutes of the exam,as things were beginning to look hazy. i could not distinguish one word from another. inference looked like conclusion and assumption looked like argument. I had enough i thought. There were 10 min remaining and i got a 45 line RC. i just read , clicked ,read ,clicked. I reminded myself, that "i had decided to fight till the last second and the last second was just another 5 min away.It was becoming too much. No energy, fatigue, depression , and the fact that my well done quant was washed away with the negative effects of verbal.
The time of calling finally came , and the rest .......... is history.
Guys, before i sign off , remember one thing. If you really want the gmat, be true to yourself.Dont think that by posting well on the website or on the forum, or because you were good in maths x yrs ago , or a english teacher y decades ago, you have a chance . GMAT admires people who are humble. It always wants to rule over us .ITS OK. But let it know that you have it in you to fight it. The battle ground is for fighters, who are candid about their limitations, not inherent geniuses who think they are god.Dont ever give up on the gmat. just try , try and try . There will be bad days and there will be worse days. But it is on such days , that one should be back with a bang. If dont do well in an exam 'ITS OK' the next exam is always there. try to learn your follies and improve on them.
Im just an average person , not a guru ( suresh ... is it familiar??
). If i can do this, i think anyone else out there can also achieve this.Just keep reaffirming faith in yourself and put in your effort.'failures teaches much more than success' i learnt a lot more from getting less than from getting more, as i didnt make the same mistakes in the actual exam.
I think this advice is more important than what material i used, blah blah blah blah. Guys, im a human being. i used the same material that everyone used. its just that it used much much much muhc more than others.Testimony is
maths- 3000+ problems the 1s t time
maths- 3000 problems repeat revision.
verbal-1500 questions, repeating it 3 times.
well , when a human being does almost 10000 problems in 3 months, and tries to remember even 10% of it ...u can imagine.
I would like to thank some people who are responsible for this
1)
mom and dad - thanks for letting me do what i wanted to do, having implicit faith in my actions and not questioning even once what i have set out to achieve, and also for giving me dinner during my late study nights and dad, for making hot tea every morning as soon as i got up. will definitely miss it.
2)
serg a.k.a walker- I learnt maths and much much much more from him. His humility and helkping nature has brought about a large difference. Whenever i would feel down , i would read his debrief, which would encourage me. He has answered a lot of my questions with a patience and answered them in depth. i hope one day i will meet you.
3)
Durgesh- One more fella, who became a good friend , my maths mentor and a friend who helped me with a lot of difficult things. i donno where he is post his exam.
4)
x2suresh- We became really good pals, and i enjoyed joking around with him and with him pulling my leg. Suresh, i hope that you do really well on the GMAT. His sense of maths ....well i dont have to talk much about it. He has helped clear a lot of my doubts regarding maths, and im sure he will do really well as he has the aptitude for the gmat.
5)
allenmoris- another person who taught to me my like the way my teachers in school taught me. He very elaborately taught me a lot of maths with detailed explanation. One of the few guys ,who is a master on the verbal section. thanks allen.
I also would like to thank my juniors from school who gave me valuable inputs regarding the actual test location and test conditions, AWA material etc etc , MY CRITICS, who thought that i'm cant see 700 in the given time period , and last, but not the least 'LADY LUCK' who decided to spend her evening with me.
(KINDLY HAVE A 100% TOLERANCE POLICY FOR BAD SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION OR GRAMMER)
if there are anyother things you guys want to know , lemme know. will be more than glad to help.
best of luck and cheers!!!!
arj
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Updated on: 15 Sep 2008, 04:52
. Good luck for application and essay. 
