Hi,
Can some one help rate my AWA. I have my exam in 3 weeks..any suggestion for improvement is greatly appreciated. Thank you!
The following appeared as part of an article reviewing summer camps for children.
Parents, if you need a summer camp for your children look no further than Federville Farms. In a recent survey, Federville Farms ranked first in both overall camper satisfaction and in food quality, and second in the variety of outdoor activities. Federville Farms has been family owned and operated for over forty years, so you have nothing to worry about when it comes to your child's safety, and it employs more Red Cross certified lifeguards than any other camp in the state. If you seek the best camp experience for your children, Federville Farms is the best choice you can make.
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
The author concludes that Federville Farms is the best choice to send children for a summer camp based on best camp experience it claims to have.However, the conclusion is inadequately supported by the information provided because best camp experience depends on various factors. If parents prefer the variety of outdoor activities that children play determines the camp experience since in this technology driven generation, children are spending more time on the computers and virtual experience rather than outdoor physical activities, then Federville Farms is not the best choice for a summer camp because it only ranks second and some other camp can provide variety of outdoor activities.
Secondly, the author only cites the recently conducted survey which only takes into account camper satisfaction, food quality and variety of outdoor activities as the prime factor for choosing a summer camp which shows a gap in assumption that Federville farms is performing well in other aspects like discipline, behavioural skills and hygiene which may be are the prime concerns for parents while choosing a summer camp.
Thirdly, though Federville Farms employs more Red Cross certified life guards author failed to compare the type of activities which require extra safety because it is possible that other camps may not include risky activities which require extra safety and employing more lifeguards cannot stand as a factor for parents to consider Federville Farms as a best choice.
Finally, the author could have produced enough information on the above aspects to determine whether Federville Farms is actually the best choice for a summer camp.