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Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 19 Mar 2013, 14:42
Is anyone bringing/did anyone bring their gf/bf/wife/husband to b school with them? I'm attempting to convince my gf to come with me in the fall, though we're both worried I'm going to be incredibly busy all the time.
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 19 Mar 2013, 17:12
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EChopeful12 wrote:
Is anyone bringing/did anyone bring their gf/bf/wife/husband to b school with them? I'm attempting to convince my gf to come with me in the fall, though we're both worried I'm going to be incredibly busy all the time.


Yeah, my wife is most likely coming (depends on if she can at least move laterally in her career wherever I go). It's a bit different since we're married... She was a big part of my entire decision process, and has been on board with everything from the beginning... You're in a different situation.

You will be busy, VERY busy. How interested is she in going? If she's on the fence, reach out to Ross's partners club and have them sell her on it (Fuqua and Johnson did wonders on my wife).

Ok, going to be a bit real here...

Is she going to be able to find a job? The toughest part for partners moving is that they're in their mid 20s to early 30s, and are building a career of their own... If she's able to continue hers in Ann Arbor, great, if not... will she resent you?

How serious are you about committing long term to her? Maybe you should officially commit? You never know if thats part of what she's apprehensive about(assumption i know, i dont know her)...


If your girlfriend doesnt come, she will miss a HUGE part of your life... B-school will change you. These will be some of the greatest experiences of your life, and if she's not there to experience some of them with you... it'll be hard to relate (at least that's a fear of mine) BUT if she does come, she'll need to know that:
A - you will be VERY busy, VERY VERY busy
B - she will need to develop a group of friends there, (knowing that she can through a partners club will help.)
C - you will be VERY busy

If she doesn't fully understand this before hand, she'll resent the entire situation.

Good luck, sorry for being a bit drastic... There's no easy answer. But if she's honestly considering coming, reach out to the partners club, and try to connect with local alumns or current students who can relate to your future situation.
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 19 Mar 2013, 17:27
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 19 Mar 2013, 22:13
Watch "The Five-Year Engagement"

Jason Segel's character gives up his awesome job in San Francisco to move with his fiance to Ann Arbor since she got a great offer there. Their lives totally change. That should give you some perspective.

But yeah, the CBS Follies video might be the right motivator here ;)
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 20 Mar 2013, 04:51
westsidah408 wrote:
Watch "The Five-Year Engagement"



ha agreed, this is a must for any couple moving to Ann Arbor.
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 20 Mar 2013, 05:30
Haha we saw the movie a couple weeks ago. I definitely don't see myself staying in Ann Arbor past the 21 months or whatever it is, though. I could see us getting engaged within the next 6-12 months.

She's interested in going but she doesn't want to be ignored for 2 years, which is pretty understandable. She's also a medical assistant so she'd most likely be able to find a job pretty easily. I don't want to promise her it'll be all sunshine and smiles and then she ends up hating me.
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 20 Mar 2013, 05:41
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EChopeful12 wrote:
Haha we saw the movie a couple weeks ago. I definitely don't see myself staying in Ann Arbor past the 21 months or whatever it is, though. I could see us getting engaged within the next 6-12 months.

She's interested in going but she doesn't want to be ignored for 2 years, which is pretty understandable. She's also a medical assistant so she'd most likely be able to find a job pretty easily. I don't want to promise her it'll be all sunshine and smiles and then she ends up hating me.


IDK, you could grow a pretty sweet beard and hang out for a few years...

But yeah, I think situations like this are exactly why partners clubs exist. I havent interacted with Ross's club, but if it's anything like the schools I've reached out to they'll be as willing to talk as current students are. At Fuqua their motto is "All the Fuqua fun without the homework." I have a feeling that Ross will be somewhat similar.

Has she visited campus with you? Will she be going to the welcome weekend? Honestly, your best choice would be for her to talk with others who are currently living the life. You can reassure her that you will always be there for her, and that you will make as much time as possible, and blah blah blah... But, she'll need a support structure there for the times you aren't... and I'm sure Ross has already developed this.

Good luck!
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 20 Mar 2013, 06:08
highwyre237 wrote:
EChopeful12 wrote:
Haha we saw the movie a couple weeks ago. I definitely don't see myself staying in Ann Arbor past the 21 months or whatever it is, though. I could see us getting engaged within the next 6-12 months.

She's interested in going but she doesn't want to be ignored for 2 years, which is pretty understandable. She's also a medical assistant so she'd most likely be able to find a job pretty easily. I don't want to promise her it'll be all sunshine and smiles and then she ends up hating me.


IDK, you could grow a pretty sweet beard and hang out for a few years...

But yeah, I think situations like this are exactly why partners clubs exist. I havent interacted with Ross's club, but if it's anything like the schools I've reached out to they'll be as willing to talk as current students are. At Fuqua their motto is "All the Fuqua fun without the homework." I have a feeling that Ross will be somewhat similar.

Has she visited campus with you? Will she be going to the welcome weekend? Honestly, your best choice would be for her to talk with others who are currently living the life. You can reassure her that you will always be there for her, and that you will make as much time as possible, and blah blah blah... But, she'll need a support structure there for the times you aren't... and I'm sure Ross has already developed this.

Good luck!


Thanks for the tips. She hasn't visited campus yet and can't make it to the admit weekend, unfortunately. I'm trying to introduce her to the partners clubs and all of that stuff right now so she doesn't freak out thinking about it.
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 25 Mar 2013, 18:03
I'm in a similar situation. My girlfriend and her son are going to travel with me to one of the European schools to which I've applied. So I've got the added stress of culture shock on top of the time demands of b-school. Anyone have any stories to tell of an experience going abroad with the partner/spouse? How did it go? My girlfriend is a chef, so I'm trying to sell it as an opportunity to study a great cuisine in Barcelona, France, or maybe an internship in London's fantastic culinary scene. But it will still be stressful for her to go on what is effectively a 2-year sabbatical.

Wow, maybe I should watch the movie you guys are quoting. Isn't jason segal a chef?
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 25 Mar 2013, 18:10
DukeCityMBA wrote:
I'm in a similar situation. My girlfriend and her son are going to travel with me to one of the European schools to which I've applied. So I've got the added stress of culture shock on top of the time demands of b-school. Anyone have any stories to tell of an experience going abroad with the partner/spouse? How did it go? My girlfriend is a chef, so I'm trying to sell it as an opportunity to study a great cuisine in Barcelona, France, or maybe an internship in London's fantastic culinary scene. But it will still be stressful for her to go on what is effectively a 2-year sabbatical.

Wow, maybe I should watch the movie you guys are quoting. Isn't jason segal a chef?


He is a chef and it's not a very optimistic movie about people going to grad school together :)

I've reached out to a lot of Ross folks and they've given me some good advice. Basically I'm going be super busy and it has to be her decision whether or not to come. Very good idea if you SO can go to admit weekends with you.
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 25 Mar 2013, 18:13
DukeCityMBA wrote:
Isn't jason segal a chef?



Ha, yep! You should definitely watch it.
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 26 Apr 2013, 11:27
Lady's perspective here. Obviously I can't speak for all of us, but I personally would never move to college town like Ann Arbor (assuming I didn't already have friends or family there) for my boyfriend without a ring. I realize as a medical assistant, it's maybe not as big of a (or even, any) career sacrifice for her, but it's still a huge adjustment on a social and personal basis, partners club aside.

(And please keep in mind--I adore my boyfriend! He's absolutely wonderful. For the record, I am also probably a little more old-fashioned than the "average Jill" :) )

Clearly, you shouldn't propose just to convince her to move--she could still resent you if it isn't the right choice for her. Besides, maybe you just aren't at that point in your relationship yet. And whether you get engaged or not, being long distance for two years could be very do-able. I just would not be surprised at all if that was factoring into her decision.

One more data point (beyond my perhaps outdated expectations :P ): when I visited Yale last weekend for Welcome Weekend, there were very few boyfriends/girlfriends who were planning to move to New Haven. While I didn't meet everyone, I did end up meeting most of the partners as I brought my boyfriend (he isn't moving, which is frankly preferable in my mind for all the career/resentment/busyness issues mentioned above). Of course, since many partners live in NYC or Boston, moving is less relevant. But the majority of partners who relocated were fiances or spouses. This was pretty similar at other schools I visited, but I didn't check out Ross.

Let us know how it works out for you! Hopefully you guys figure out a good solution. I'm always a fan of the "if it's meant to be, you'll work it out" train of thought. Good luck!
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 26 Apr 2013, 11:44
update on my end. My wife is most likely NOT coming. She got a sweet promotion, and we figured out how easy and cheap direct flights to both of my potential landing spots were.... All in all, crappy adjustment, but we'll make it work. The wife will be working from home a few fridays each month, and will be flying out at least once a month... So, she'll be able to experience bits and pieces of my MBA life without jeopardizing her career.

I'm still worried she'll miss a huge part of my life, but I'm a bit more level headed about the situation now...
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 26 Apr 2013, 12:21
highwyre237 wrote:
update on my end. My wife is most likely NOT coming. She got a sweet promotion, and we figured out how easy and cheap direct flights to both of my potential landing spots were.... All in all, crappy adjustment, but we'll make it work. The wife will be working from home a few fridays each month, and will be flying out at least once a month... So, she'll be able to experience bits and pieces of my MBA life without jeopardizing her career.

I'm still worried she'll miss a huge part of my life, but I'm a bit more level headed about the situation now...

I'm unsure if congratulations are warranted, so I will instead offer my support. You guys will do fine and you'll kill it at Johnson Fuqua ;).
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 26 Apr 2013, 12:31
kingfalcon wrote:
highwyre237 wrote:
update on my end. My wife is most likely NOT coming. She got a sweet promotion, and we figured out how easy and cheap direct flights to both of my potential landing spots were.... All in all, crappy adjustment, but we'll make it work. The wife will be working from home a few fridays each month, and will be flying out at least once a month... So, she'll be able to experience bits and pieces of my MBA life without jeopardizing her career.

I'm still worried she'll miss a huge part of my life, but I'm a bit more level headed about the situation now...

I'm unsure if congratulations are warranted, so I will instead offer my support. You guys will do fine and you'll kill it at Johnson Fuqua ;).


Yea. Great that you guys figured it out and I hope the adjustment works out well. Congratulations on the promotion! :)
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 02 May 2013, 12:13
Obviously the answer to this question totally depends on the individual circumstances. In my situation, we are definitely moving together, but he will be "commuting" to San Francisco a week each month. Basically, he's fortunate enough to be able to work remotely.

My key take-aways are these:
1) You will indeed be super busy
2) You want to make sure your partner will have a life of his/her own so they are also super busy.
3) You need to be up front with your partner about your schedule AND (most importantly!) make time to be together.

Depending on how needy your partner or you are, it's tough to come up with a reasonable schedule. I'm lucky that my partner is super excited about business school and wants to be involved with the partners club and students. We consider this an opportunity for the two of us! If your partner doesn't see it that way, then you're going for one reason and she's going for another (i.e. you!). It's probably more appealing if you are both going for similar reasons.

I'm going to chime in some on what lb2015 said. During admit student weekend it was almost exclusively married couples. I don't remember many boyfriends/girlfriends coming. Rather, it seems people are still in the "negotiation stages," trying to figure out what makes sense. While marriage is one strong indicator of commitment, there might be other ways to know whether or not your relationship is at that level. :)
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 02 May 2013, 12:33
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machichi wrote:
Obviously the answer to this question totally depends on the individual circumstances. In my situation, we are definitely moving together, but he will be "commuting" to San Francisco a week each month. Basically, he's fortunate enough to be able to work remotely.

My key take-aways are these:
1) You will indeed be super busy
2) You want to make sure your partner will have a life of his/her own so they are also super busy.
3) You need to be up front with your partner about your schedule AND (most importantly!) make time to be together.

Depending on how needy your partner or you are, it's tough to come up with a reasonable schedule. I'm lucky that my partner is super excited about business school and wants to be involved with the partners club and students. We consider this an opportunity for the two of us! If your partner doesn't see it that way, then you're going for one reason and she's going for another (i.e. you!). It's probably more appealing if you are both going for similar reasons.

I'm going to chime in some on what lb2015 said. During admit student weekend it was almost exclusively married couples. I don't remember many boyfriends/girlfriends coming. Rather, it seems people are still in the "negotiation stages," trying to figure out what makes sense. While marriage is one strong indicator of commitment, there might be other ways to know whether or not your relationship is at that level. :)


I want to start off by saying my Wife doesn't totally suck...

lol, If she wasn't in her current situation at work, she'd be an officer at whichever partners club, but alas, we're a greedy bunch, and enjoy bringing in at least one income at a time. The dog and cat will be depressed (that's right, we're splitting them up!), but they'll grow to accept what they'll think is a divorce or a trial separation. Don't worry future classmates, the pup is coming with me.

For future readers, if your partner doesnt come with you, my big advice... Make sure their first flight to come and see you is booked before you say goodbye, that way it'll feel more like a "see ya later"

So... I'm not worried about us, because I'll be crazy busy, and she'll be working 60-70 hour weeks. If things become super unbearable, she'll just move out to me a bit later.

But Machichi, I would much rather be in your shoes...
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 02 May 2013, 22:50
highwyre237 wrote:
I want to start off by saying my Wife doesn't totally suck...


I notice you capitalize Wife. She's a Big Deal, huh? :)

Also, it sounds to me like she's pretty fierce. :)

highwyre237 wrote:
But Machichi, I would much rather be in your shoes...


I'm pretty lucky, but trust me when I say it's still tough. Already I've heard the phrase "I'm moving to New Haven for you" about once a day...it's somewhat in jest, but damn he's not going to live it down! Hahaha. All the things I'm going to be suckered into doing because I forced him to move to the middle of no where Connecticut...from SAN FRANCISCO. :)
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 03 May 2013, 05:01
machichi wrote:
highwyre237 wrote:
I want to start off by saying my Wife doesn't totally suck...


I notice you capitalize Wife. She's a Big Deal, huh? :)

Also, it sounds to me like she's pretty fierce. :)


Have you ever met a Boston girl? In my house she makes sure Wife is a proper noun lol.

Quote:
highwyre237 wrote:
But Machichi, I would much rather be in your shoes...


I'm pretty lucky, but trust me when I say it's still tough. Already I've heard the phrase "I'm moving to New Haven for you" about once a day...it's somewhat in jest, but damn he's not going to live it down! Hahaha. All the things I'm going to be suckered into doing because I forced him to move to the middle of no where Connecticut...from SAN FRANCISCO. :)


Also, New Haven middle of nowhere? spoken like a man who's never been to Ithaca. Hey at least he can escape into NYC via train, my wife would just be surrounded by farmland, and even worse.... undergrads... :shock:
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Re: Partners at B School [#permalink] New post 03 May 2013, 13:36
highwyre237 wrote:
Also, New Haven middle of nowhere? spoken like a man who's never been to Ithaca. Hey at least he can escape into NYC via train, my wife would just be surrounded by farmland, and even worse.... undergrads... :shock:


I grew up in Rochester and make him go there once a year...and I've been to Ithaca many times. Sadly, the phrase "it could be worse" isn't exactly winning me any points either. :)

Ithaca is gorges!
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