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Sajjad1994
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Thank you so much for your time!


Sajjad1994
AWA Score: 5.5 - 6 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity (5.5/6):
The essay is generally well-organized and coherent. It flows logically from one point to the next, with clear transitions between paragraphs. However, there are a few instances where sentence structures could be more varied for smoother readability.

Word structure (6/6):
The essay demonstrates a strong command of language and vocabulary. The sentences are well-structured and effectively convey the writer's ideas. There are no major issues with word choice or sentence structure.

Paragraph structure and formation (5.5/6):
The essay follows a standard paragraph structure with clear topic sentences and supporting details. However, there are a couple of lengthy sentences that could benefit from breaking into shorter ones for improved readability.

Language and Grammar (6/6):
The language and grammar in the essay are excellent. There are no noticeable grammatical errors or awkward phrasings. The essay maintains a formal tone appropriate for an analytical essay.

Vocabulary and word expression (6/6):
The vocabulary and word expression are strong throughout the essay. The writer uses a variety of vocabulary to effectively convey their points and ideas.

Overall, this essay is well-written and effectively analyzes the argument presented in the prompt. It demonstrates a strong command of language and effectively highlights the flaws in the argument while offering constructive criticism.

Abulikabuli
Sajjad1994. Can you rate this for me?

The above plan is a proposal by a consulting firm to convince its investors about a strategic shift of their investments to the caffeine industry from the cola industry. In doing so the firm makes a flawed argument.

Firstly, it says that studies show a trend among a particular sample within a certain age group. But it fails to quote the authenticity of the source. We don’t know the region in which the study was conducted. Consumption patterns can vary depending on geography; for example tropical countries in general may show higher consumption of cola based soft drinks across all age groups especially during the hot summers. We are also not told whether the studies have considered the seasonal variation of caffeine and cola consumption.

Secondly, the plan extrapolates a finding based on undisclosed parameters and predicts the future. While past 40 years trend is a good timeframe, if the sample is a small city of a western country which lacks cosmopolitan diversity of population, this trend is not representative of the population as a whole. The demography of a region also vary depending on the nation. Developed nations show an ageing population whereas developing nations tend to enjoy a demographic dividend from its young population.

It is always difficult to predict the future, considering so many parameters which can influence change. For example, there is an increasing awareness among people regarding caffeine addiction and also consumption of cola based drinks. Hence alternatives of caffeine free and sugar free drinks are already widely available. So an optimistic prediction may also cite that both these industries may not be profitable in the near future.

Considering the above points, it looks like the proposal of the firm needs a solid revision. While it is ideal that cola based companies start losing value unless they move their business to healthier alternatives, the reasoning of the above argument fails to sound convincing with its many flaws. Addressing the above mentioned points can substantiate it to be a crisp argument.

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Sajjad1994, could you please rate my essay on this topic?

The aforementioned argument proposes that investments should be transferred from Coca Loca to Early Bird Coffee on grounds that the younger population will grow old and reduce their cola consumption while coffee consumption will stay high with growing age. The conclusion they have arrived to seems premature and unfounded with regards to the information provided, due to which this argument does not seem well-reasoned.

The primary issue with the argument is that they have not accounted for the fact that as current cola consumers grow old and reduce their consumption of cola, there will be an infusion of new population of younger patrons over the next 20 years that need to be considered as part of the overall demographic. It is possible that the population may see an increase over the coming years and there may be a larger proportion of youngsters, which will skew the numbers in their favor, thus increasing the cola consumption. hence, the cola companies may not be vastly affected by the decrease in consumption of the older population.

The secondary issue with the argument is that the proportion of overall coffee and cola consumption has not been taken into account. Based on their sample size, they should be able to determine what the proportion of cola and coffee consumption is. If the cola consumption is much higher than that of coffee, any transfer of investments into Early Bird may not yield a significant increase in profits. To add to that, as per the aforementioned primary issue, they may not be able to benefit from the demand for cola from the younger population, since they have given up their market share.

The tertiary issue with this argument is that trends can change. If there were to be a study published on the negative effects of coffee on adults or if coffee grounds were suddenly to be in short supply due to trade or other external factors, this could negatively impact the business of Early Bird Coffee. Removing the entire stake in Coca Loca may prove to be detrimental in this case. It is also possible that coffee just simply falls out of favor with the general populace over the next 20 years. While it is true that past trends are helpful in assessing future directions, it could also work against their favor.

One thing that could strengthen the argument is if there is substantial research conducted on both cola and coffee markets and their targeted demographic. If they are able to analyze and predict future population trends such as a drop in annual births, resulting in a subsequent drop in the target demographic for cola, this investment strategy could pay off. In addition to this, they would need to analyze the future of the cola industry and its longevity. With adequate information, this decision could very well pay off.

Based on the aforementioned points weakening the argument as well as potential strengthening points, I am of the opinion that this argument could be better reasoned. It is possible that the conclusion drawn can change based on additional research and analysis conducted regarding the independent cola and coffee markets as well as population trends.
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rishab1317
Sajjad1994, could you please rate my essay on this topic?

The aforementioned argument proposes that investments should be transferred from Coca Loca to Early Bird Coffee on grounds that the younger population will grow old and reduce their cola consumption while coffee consumption will stay high with growing age. The conclusion they have arrived to seems premature and unfounded with regards to the information provided, due to which this argument does not seem well-reasoned.
The primary issue with the argument is that they have not accounted for the fact that as current cola consumers grow old and reduce their consumption of cola, there will be an infusion of new population of younger patrons over the next 20 years that need to be considered as part of the overall demographic. It is possible that the population may see an increase over the coming years and there may be a larger proportion of youngsters, which will skew the numbers in their favor, thus increasing the cola consumption. hence, the cola companies may not be vastly affected by the decrease in consumption of the older population.
The secondary issue with the argument is that the proportion of overall coffee and cola consumption has not been taken into account. Based on their sample size, they should be able to determine what the proportion of cola and coffee consumption is. If the cola consumption is much higher than that of coffee, any transfer of investments into Early Bird may not yield a significant increase in profits. To add to that, as per the aforementioned primary issue, they may not be able to benefit from the demand for cola from the younger population, since they have given up their market share.
The tertiary issue with this argument is that trends can change. If there were to be a study published on the negative effects of coffee on adults or if coffee grounds were suddenly to be in short supply due to trade or other external factors, this could negatively impact the business of Early Bird Coffee. Removing the entire stake in Coca Loca may prove to be detrimental in this case. It is also possible that coffee just simply falls out of favor with the general populace over the next 20 years. While it is true that past trends are helpful in assessing future directions, it could also work against their favor.
One thing that could strengthen the argument is if there is substantial research conducted on both cola and coffee markets and their targeted demographic. If they are able to analyze and predict future population trends such as a drop in annual births, resulting in a subsequent drop in the target demographic for cola, this investment strategy could pay off. In addition to this, they would need to analyze the future of the cola industry and its longevity. With adequate information, this decision could very well pay off.
Based on the aforementioned points weakening the argument as well as potential strengthening points, I am of the opinion that this argument could be better reasoned. It is possible that the conclusion drawn can change based on additional research and analysis conducted regarding the independent cola and coffee markets as well as population trends.

Where are the paragraphs?
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Sajjad1994, edited, please take a look.
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AWA Score: 5 out of 6

Coherence and Connectivity: 5.5
The essay demonstrates good coherence and connectivity, with ideas logically flowing from one to the next. The introduction sets up the main issues, and each subsequent paragraph addresses a specific problem with the argument. Transitions are generally smooth, providing a clear structure for the essay.

Word Structure: 5
The essay uses appropriate and effective vocabulary, but there is room for improvement. Some sentences could benefit from greater word variety and more precise language. The essay is clear and understandable, but it doesn't exhibit a rich vocabulary.

Paragraph Structure and Formation: 5
The essay is well-structured with clear introductory and concluding paragraphs. Each paragraph presents a distinct point of critique and supports it with reasoning. However, the third paragraph could be more focused on a single main point, as it currently covers several aspects.

Language and Grammar: 5.5
The essay maintains a good level of language and grammar throughout. There are minor grammatical issues and awkward phrases, but they do not significantly hinder comprehension. The sentences are generally well-constructed.

Vocabulary and Word Expression: 4.5
The vocabulary and word expression are generally appropriate, but there are some instances where the choice of words or phrases could be more precise or refined to enhance the essay's quality and impact.

Overall, the essay provides a thoughtful analysis of the argument's weaknesses and strengths. It maintains coherence and uses language and grammar effectively. However, there is room for improvement in vocabulary and word expression, as well as in refining certain points for greater clarity.

rishab1317
Sajjad1994, could you please rate my essay on this topic?

The aforementioned argument proposes that investments should be transferred from Coca Loca to Early Bird Coffee on grounds that the younger population will grow old and reduce their cola consumption while coffee consumption will stay high with growing age. The conclusion they have arrived to seems premature and unfounded with regards to the information provided, due to which this argument does not seem well-reasoned.

The primary issue with the argument is that they have not accounted for the fact that as current cola consumers grow old and reduce their consumption of cola, there will be an infusion of new population of younger patrons over the next 20 years that need to be considered as part of the overall demographic. It is possible that the population may see an increase over the coming years and there may be a larger proportion of youngsters, which will skew the numbers in their favor, thus increasing the cola consumption. hence, the cola companies may not be vastly affected by the decrease in consumption of the older population.

The secondary issue with the argument is that the proportion of overall coffee and cola consumption has not been taken into account. Based on their sample size, they should be able to determine what the proportion of cola and coffee consumption is. If the cola consumption is much higher than that of coffee, any transfer of investments into Early Bird may not yield a significant increase in profits. To add to that, as per the aforementioned primary issue, they may not be able to benefit from the demand for cola from the younger population, since they have given up their market share.

The tertiary issue with this argument is that trends can change. If there were to be a study published on the negative effects of coffee on adults or if coffee grounds were suddenly to be in short supply due to trade or other external factors, this could negatively impact the business of Early Bird Coffee. Removing the entire stake in Coca Loca may prove to be detrimental in this case. It is also possible that coffee just simply falls out of favor with the general populace over the next 20 years. While it is true that past trends are helpful in assessing future directions, it could also work against their favor.

One thing that could strengthen the argument is if there is substantial research conducted on both cola and coffee markets and their targeted demographic. If they are able to analyze and predict future population trends such as a drop in annual births, resulting in a subsequent drop in the target demographic for cola, this investment strategy could pay off. In addition to this, they would need to analyze the future of the cola industry and its longevity. With adequate information, this decision could very well pay off.

Based on the aforementioned points weakening the argument as well as potential strengthening points, I am of the opinion that this argument could be better reasoned. It is possible that the conclusion drawn can change based on additional research and analysis conducted regarding the independent cola and coffee markets as well as population trends.
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Sajjad1994, can you please rate my essay?

The author suggests that an investment firm should transfer its investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee citing evidence that average coffee drinker's consumption of coffee increases with age while the trend is reversed in case of cola. The author further states that even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high and this trend has remained stable for the past 40 years. Extrapolating on the fact that number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, the author infers that demand for coffee will increase while the demand for cola will decrease and arrives at his final conclusion. While the argument does look sound, there are some aspects the author has failed to notice.

Firstly, the author has not discussed about how the population and its composition might change over the next 20 years. A higher birth rate might cause the proportion of older adults to remain constant or even decrease. Thus, extending the author's reasoning, cola demand will be higher than coffee in that case. Similarly, the average life expectancy is not discussed anywhere by the author. For instance, if the said country has a life expectancy of early 40s, then demand for cola can be and stay higher.

Secondly, the author has not talked about how reliable are past trends in determining future consumer behaviour. If cola gains popularity suddenly and coffee loses its popularity due to some other reason, then past data is just data. In other words, consumer behaviour is influenced by a range of factors like affordability, accessibility, marketing, offers, discounts , so on and so forth. The author can cite evidence relating to what motivates a person of certain age (or people of certain age group) to choose cola or coffee. This can throw more light into this aspect of the argument.

Finally, the author assumes that business like Cola Loca and Early Bird Coffee will only sell beverages they specialize upon or known for. Businesses constantly monitor consumer behaviour and market trends, and constantly evolve by charting out new strategies. Further, businesses will always be looking to break into new customer segments in order to be in the market and build reputation. Thus, they might have different products for different customer segments. The author has cited nothing about the range of products these 2 companies offer. Also, there is no information about the market share, reputation and growth potential of each of these companies in order to properly evaluate if the investment firm should invest in any of these 2 companies or go for another company.

Therefore, even though the author rightly uses average consumer's consumptions to correlate with his/her age, there are other aspects of the argument the author should address in order to make a more pressing and convincing plan to the investment and financial consulting firm.

-------------END OF ESSAY
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AWA Score: 5 out of 6

Coherence and Connectivity: 5.5
The essay demonstrates a strong degree of coherence and connectivity, with clear transitions between ideas and well-structured paragraphs. The writer effectively builds upon the argument, linking each point to the next logically.

Word Structure: 5
The word structure is generally solid. The essay employs a good range of vocabulary and terminology relevant to the topic. However, there are a few minor issues with sentence structure and awkward phrasing in some sentences.

Paragraph Structure and Formation: 5
The paragraph structure is well-formed, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to the overall cohesiveness of the essay.

Language and Grammar: 5.5
The language and grammar are strong, with few errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and grammar. The essay maintains a formal tone and effectively conveys the ideas. However, there are a few minor grammatical issues that could be further improved.

Vocabulary and Word Expression: 5.5
The essay uses a diverse vocabulary and employs terminology relevant to the topic. The writer effectively expresses ideas and arguments. However, there are instances of slightly awkward or verbose phrasing that could be refined for greater clarity and conciseness.

Overall, this essay is well-structured and effectively conveys the writer's points. It demonstrates a good command of language and grammar, with a few minor areas for improvement.

vedha0
Sajjad1994, can you please rate my essay?

The author suggests that an investment firm should transfer its investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee citing evidence that average coffee drinker's consumption of coffee increases with age while the trend is reversed in case of cola. The author further states that even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high and this trend has remained stable for the past 40 years. Extrapolating on the fact that number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, the author infers that demand for coffee will increase while the demand for cola will decrease and arrives at his final conclusion. While the argument does look sound, there are some aspects the author has failed to notice.

Firstly, the author has not discussed about how the population and its composition might change over the next 20 years. A higher birth rate might cause the proportion of older adults to remain constant or even decrease. Thus, extending the author's reasoning, cola demand will be higher than coffee in that case. Similarly, the average life expectancy is not discussed anywhere by the author. For instance, if the said country has a life expectancy of early 40s, then demand for cola can be and stay higher.

Secondly, the author has not talked about how reliable are past trends in determining future consumer behaviour. If cola gains popularity suddenly and coffee loses its popularity due to some other reason, then past data is just data. In other words, consumer behaviour is influenced by a range of factors like affordability, accessibility, marketing, offers, discounts , so on and so forth. The author can cite evidence relating to what motivates a person of certain age (or people of certain age group) to choose cola or coffee. This can throw more light into this aspect of the argument.

Finally, the author assumes that business like Cola Loca and Early Bird Coffee will only sell beverages they specialize upon or known for. Businesses constantly monitor consumer behaviour and market trends, and constantly evolve by charting out new strategies. Further, businesses will always be looking to break into new customer segments in order to be in the market and build reputation. Thus, they might have different products for different customer segments. The author has cited nothing about the range of products these 2 companies offer. Also, there is no information about the market share, reputation and growth potential of each of these companies in order to properly evaluate if the investment firm should invest in any of these 2 companies or go for another company.

Therefore, even though the author rightly uses average consumer's consumptions to correlate with his/her age, there are other aspects of the argument the author should address in order to make a more pressing and convincing plan to the investment and financial consulting firm.

-------------END OF ESSAY
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thanks!

Sajjad1994
AWA Score: 5 out of 6

Coherence and Connectivity: 5.5
The essay demonstrates a strong degree of coherence and connectivity, with clear transitions between ideas and well-structured paragraphs. The writer effectively builds upon the argument, linking each point to the next logically.

Word Structure: 5
The word structure is generally solid. The essay employs a good range of vocabulary and terminology relevant to the topic. However, there are a few minor issues with sentence structure and awkward phrasing in some sentences.

Paragraph Structure and Formation: 5
The paragraph structure is well-formed, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to the overall cohesiveness of the essay.

Language and Grammar: 5.5
The language and grammar are strong, with few errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and grammar. The essay maintains a formal tone and effectively conveys the ideas. However, there are a few minor grammatical issues that could be further improved.

Vocabulary and Word Expression: 5.5
The essay uses a diverse vocabulary and employs terminology relevant to the topic. The writer effectively expresses ideas and arguments. However, there are instances of slightly awkward or verbose phrasing that could be refined for greater clarity and conciseness.

Overall, this essay is well-structured and effectively conveys the writer's points. It demonstrates a good command of language and grammar, with a few minor areas for improvement.

vedha0
Sajjad1994, can you please rate my essay?

The author suggests that an investment firm should transfer its investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee citing evidence that average coffee drinker's consumption of coffee increases with age while the trend is reversed in case of cola. The author further states that even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high and this trend has remained stable for the past 40 years. Extrapolating on the fact that number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, the author infers that demand for coffee will increase while the demand for cola will decrease and arrives at his final conclusion. While the argument does look sound, there are some aspects the author has failed to notice.

Firstly, the author has not discussed about how the population and its composition might change over the next 20 years. A higher birth rate might cause the proportion of older adults to remain constant or even decrease. Thus, extending the author's reasoning, cola demand will be higher than coffee in that case. Similarly, the average life expectancy is not discussed anywhere by the author. For instance, if the said country has a life expectancy of early 40s, then demand for cola can be and stay higher.

Secondly, the author has not talked about how reliable are past trends in determining future consumer behaviour. If cola gains popularity suddenly and coffee loses its popularity due to some other reason, then past data is just data. In other words, consumer behaviour is influenced by a range of factors like affordability, accessibility, marketing, offers, discounts , so on and so forth. The author can cite evidence relating to what motivates a person of certain age (or people of certain age group) to choose cola or coffee. This can throw more light into this aspect of the argument.

Finally, the author assumes that business like Cola Loca and Early Bird Coffee will only sell beverages they specialize upon or known for. Businesses constantly monitor consumer behaviour and market trends, and constantly evolve by charting out new strategies. Further, businesses will always be looking to break into new customer segments in order to be in the market and build reputation. Thus, they might have different products for different customer segments. The author has cited nothing about the range of products these 2 companies offer. Also, there is no information about the market share, reputation and growth potential of each of these companies in order to properly evaluate if the investment firm should invest in any of these 2 companies or go for another company.

Therefore, even though the author rightly uses average consumer's consumptions to correlate with his/her age, there are other aspects of the argument the author should address in order to make a more pressing and convincing plan to the investment and financial consulting firm.

-------------END OF ESSAY
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Hi, could I please get a rating from my OG mock 3?

The argument's conclusion states that since the average consumption of coffee increases with age while the average consumption of cola declines with age and because the population is aging, therefore it would be a good idea to consider transferring the author's investments from a cola company to a coffee company. In general, this argument lacks critical evidence, as well as contains a number of assumptions which can easily be disproven to show that the conclusion reached is not sound.

Firstly, the argument assumes that trends in the average consumption of coffee and cola remaining stable for a period of time means that these trends will continue to hold as the population ages over the next couple of decades. It also assumes that cola and coffee are and will continue to be the main players when it comes to drink consumption habits over the next few decades. All it would take to make this assumption invalid was for a new, exciting new drink to enter the market or for already existing drinks such as non-alcoholic beer alternatives or energy drinks to start to gain market share.

Secondly, the argument assumes that the population will continue to age and that the taste of older consumers will remain constant. As international migration becomes more popular, the author's country could see an influx of younger drink consumers. The birth rate could also rise sharply as we have seen in other periods of human existence. And as healthcare and technology both advance, older consumers might begin to enjoy longer, healthier lives and see no reason to stop consuming the drinks of their youth.

Lastly, the argument doesn't mention any actual values while discussing average consumptions. It could well be that despite decreases in consumptions of cola as a consumer ages, the starting point of cola consumption might be so high that cola consumption remains higher than coffee consumption even at a consumer's end of life. The argument's lack of details and numbers in terms of how much coffee and cola is actually consumed makes it very difficult to evaluate this aspect of the argument.

In conclusion, this argument clearly contains too many assumptions to recommend investment transfers as a good action plan. The author should consider clearing up the problematic points discussed above, as well as include some relevant data and evidence so that it can be more accurately evaluated.
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AWA Score: 5 - 5.5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 5.5/6
The essay maintains a strong coherence and connectivity, with a clear structure that leads the reader through the logical flow of the argument. The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, and each paragraph contributes to the overall coherence. Some minor improvements could be made in terms of explicitly stating the relationship between ideas in certain transitions.

Word structure: 5/6
The essay employs a varied and precise word structure. Sentences are clear, concise, and effectively convey complex ideas. The vocabulary is sophisticated, contributing to the overall clarity and quality of the writing. There are no major issues with word structure.

Paragraph structure and formation: 5.5/6
Paragraphs are generally well-structured and focused, each addressing a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction and conclusion provide a solid framework. However, a few paragraphs could benefit from more explicit topic sentences to guide the reader. Additionally, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother.

Language and Grammar: 5.5/6
The essay demonstrates a high level of language proficiency with minimal grammatical errors. The sentence structure is varied, and the language is precise. However, there are a few instances where sentence structure could be refined for greater clarity. Additionally, a couple of sentences are complex and may require closer attention for clarity.

Vocabulary and word expression: 6/6
The vocabulary is rich, varied, and used with precision. The author effectively communicates nuanced meanings, and the choice of words enhances the overall quality of the essay. The language is sophisticated but remains accessible, contributing to the overall effectiveness of the essay.

Overall, the essay is well-written, demonstrating a strong command of language and effective organization of ideas. The minor areas for improvement are outweighed by the essay's overall strengths in coherence, word structure, paragraph formation, language, and vocabulary use.

iceiceevie
Hi, could I please get a rating from my OG mock 3?

The argument's conclusion states that since the average consumption of coffee increases with age while the average consumption of cola declines with age and because the population is aging, therefore it would be a good idea to consider transferring the author's investments from a cola company to a coffee company. In general, this argument lacks critical evidence, as well as contains a number of assumptions which can easily be disproven to show that the conclusion reached is not sound.

Firstly, the argument assumes that trends in the average consumption of coffee and cola remaining stable for a period of time means that these trends will continue to hold as the population ages over the next couple of decades. It also assumes that cola and coffee are and will continue to be the main players when it comes to drink consumption habits over the next few decades. All it would take to make this assumption invalid was for a new, exciting new drink to enter the market or for already existing drinks such as non-alcoholic beer alternatives or energy drinks to start to gain market share.

Secondly, the argument assumes that the population will continue to age and that the taste of older consumers will remain constant. As international migration becomes more popular, the author's country could see an influx of younger drink consumers. The birth rate could also rise sharply as we have seen in other periods of human existence. And as healthcare and technology both advance, older consumers might begin to enjoy longer, healthier lives and see no reason to stop consuming the drinks of their youth.

Lastly, the argument doesn't mention any actual values while discussing average consumptions. It could well be that despite decreases in consumptions of cola as a consumer ages, the starting point of cola consumption might be so high that cola consumption remains higher than coffee consumption even at a consumer's end of life. The argument's lack of details and numbers in terms of how much coffee and cola is actually consumed makes it very difficult to evaluate this aspect of the argument.

In conclusion, this argument clearly contains too many assumptions to recommend investment transfers as a good action plan. The author should consider clearing up the problematic points discussed above, as well as include some relevant data and evidence so that it can be more accurately evaluated.
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