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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee [#permalink]
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Kindly rate the below mentioned AWA. and Please let me know how can it be improved. Thanks in advance.

The following appeared as part of the business plan of an investment and financial consulting firm.
“Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee increases with age, from age 10 through age 60. Even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high. The average cola drinker’s consumption of cola, however, declines with increasing age. Both of these trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. Given that the number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, it follows that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. We should, therefore, consider transferring our investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee.”

The above investment strategy presented by the investment firm demands that the investment be shifted from the cola industry to the coffee industry mentioning specific companies in each of these industries with no sufficient information to arrive at the success rate of the above strategy. However, this strategy is based on the historical statistics presented in the extract, which is assumed to be unaltered in the future. The argument is severely flawed, since it is based on unwarranted assumptions and thus is unconvincing.

The primary concern that the above argument presents is the generalisation the consumption is the only factor that governs the stock prices and returns and conveniently ignores the other factors such as profits, sales, brand value etc. The statistics presented above nowhere mentions that the Cola industry would be washed out entirely, as there is always going to be a non-adult population in any state, and thus assuming that the cola industry shall produce less returns on investment is unconvincing. Thus, the argument would have been substantive had it mentioned more information on the margins and volume of sales that each of the industry generates.

Secondly, the argument basis its conclusion on the statistics provided above. These statistics have two limitations namely: lack of age group for the Cola drinkers and expectation that the trends of past shall follow. When examined deeply, it is observed that if there is an overlap between the cola drinkers and the coffee drinkers age group, the conclusion arrived by the author shall collapse, as there would be parallel demand for both the industries for a few years, giving no advantage to any one of the industries. The incorrect assumption that the trends that have been consistent over 40 years shall follow in the foreseeable future, leads to an incorrect line of reasoning. For example,There is a possibility of a new trend if the Cola company comes up with a healthier version of their product, which is preferred by coffee drinking adults as well; thus reducing the coffee consumption. A shift in the customer preferences can completely alter the above conclusion. Thus, the investment company shall also present the reasoning behind the trend identified by it to arrive at a solid conclusion, merely stating numbers as facts would only limit the conclusion.

Finally, the investment company provides generic trends of the industry and basis its recommendation on two specific companies from the industry. The underlying assumption that these companies, Cola Local and Early Bird coffee, are representative of the industry and its trends as a whole is not mentioned anywhere. Also, the fact that these companies are comparable in size to calculate their return on investment, is left to interpretation. Thus, making the argument weak.

In a nutshell, the argument/investment strategy presented above is limited by its line of reasoning and assumptions, and is this unconvincing. It could have been clearer, if more relevant information was provided to arrive at the above conclusion.
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The business plan suggest a shift from Cola Loca investment to Early Bird Coffee based on a historic trend for the consumption of Coffee and Cola against drinker’s age and a prediction regarding the age of the population. The argument is weakly supported by the evidence provided and assumptions made and the investment should not be taken as will be further explained.

First the arguments present that the consumption of Coffee increases from age 10 to age 60 and even after that remains high. In contrary, consumption of Cola decreases with increasing age. Also, the argument affirms that this trend remained stable for the past 40 years. Further information about this trends should be analysed to be taken into consideration, for example, what was the source of this study? Is it from a well known research firm or from the press release of the Coffee Company? Where did the sample consumer live? It matches the main location where the companies sell their products? When was the data collected? It was during a hot summer or a cold winter? With just the data provided there is enough room for other explanations that lead to different conclusions.

Second the writer based its investment strategy in the assumption that a high demand is equal to a high return on investment. In fact high demand may be a condition to a healthy company and increasing income, but again further analysis should be taken to reach any conclusion. What are the current financial measurement of the companies? How well administered they are? Who is the management? What are the characteristics and demographics of their distribution channel? What is the profile of its customers?

Finally, the conclusion is based on a prediction that the population will be ageing for the next 20 year and no information regarding the method utilised or the source of the data provided, in fact some may argue that it is a well known trend occurring in several locations across the Earth, but without this information together with the answer for some of the previous questions regarding the location and distribution of the business, no investment decision can be concluded.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed and weakly supported, further information must be provided regarding the trends presented, the investment strategy and assumptions should be revisited and further information regarding the companies should be provided. Answering all the questions made above should strength the argument and its conclusion, but without more information no investment should be made.
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee [#permalink]
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I would totally review these essays before mine, but since they have been long posted before I even started studying for the GMAT, I feel like it would be a moot point.

I also wrote a response to this question prompt, and would greatly appreciate feedback! I'm more than happy to also review other essays:

The following appeared as part of the business plan of an investment and financial consulting firm.

“Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee increases with age, from age 10 through age 60. Even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high. The average cola drinker’s consumption of cola, however, declines with increasing age. Both of these trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. Given that the number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, it follows that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. We should, therefore, consider transferring our investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee.”

Discuss how well reasoned... etc.


The investment and financial consulting firm’s business plan to consider transferring investments from their cola segments to their coffee ones omits several key considerations that would make this conclusion viable. Studies that indicate coffee consumption increases with age while cola consumption decreases and population aging trends serve as two tenuous claims that substantiate the business plan’s conclusion.

Further examination of other variables are necessary to truly assess whether the transference of investments from cola to coffee are warranted. First, the studies examined specific coffee trends from 10-60, and again from 60-on while noted an overall decline in cola consumption. To justify the transference of investments from cola to coffee would imply that the business’ largest market share of consumers are middle-aged to senior. However, if that’s not the case, a true segmentation of the different demographics of age of the consumer base should be further determined.

Secondly, the studies presented in the business plan suggest that while an individual ages, her coffee consumption increases; the studies suggest that that the inverse occurs with cola consumption. However, such claims are too broadly stated without any meaningful statistics to support them. For example, an increase of a 10% coffee consumption over an individual’s lifetime would most definitely not convince a business to reallocate investments to their coffee segment.

Finally, to state that the number of adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years is a tenuous argument itself. Regardless of time, location, and place, the natural progression of humanity is that they’ll always age over time—if coffee affinity and cola aversion naturally occurs as an average individual ages, this pattern should be replicated with each generation of the business’ targeted market.

Evidently, the trends of increased coffee proclivity and decreased cola desire as the average individual ages are deficit alone to support the recommendation of transferring the business’ investments from one segment to another. The shares of their consumer base, meaningful study statistics must be considered to determine a sound financial decision.
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Hey guys, can someone rate my essay on this topic?

I have my exam in a couple of weeks from now and I just started looking into AWA, so any suggestions are welcome!

The author of the business plan provided by a consulting firm claims that based on studies conducted the average coffee consumption increases as age increases and the average of cola consumption decreases as age increases. Given this and the aging population, the author suggests that it would be wise to transfer the investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee. Stated in this way, the argument fails to consider several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. The conclusion of the argument relies on multiple assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Thus, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the author readily assumes that the trends in cola and coffee consumption will continue the same path in the future. This statement is a stretch since the trends that were the same for the past 40 years can, in fact, change due to various reasons. For example, it is possible that the increasing awareness of harmful effects on long-term coffee use will change the habits of heavy coffee-drinkers. Clearly, the same can apply for heavy drinkers of cola, which, according to the author, are individuals of younger age. Hence, given that the trends do not continue, the demand for coffee will not increase. If the author had explicitly mentioned other factors that could lead to an increased demand for coffee in the future, the argument would have been a lot more convincing.

Second, the argument states that the investments should be altered given the forecasted increase in demand for coffee and decrease in cola. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not demonstrate any evidence that would prove the benefits of the investments made in one company over the other. For instance, the coffee producing company may experience serious financial troubles or face a huge quality scandal which would, in turn, put the company at survival risk. If the author had provided proof, in a form of due diligence, that the coffee producing company is in a good condition to invest, the argument could have been strengthened.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the aforementioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author provided all the relevant facts such as proof for the continuation of trends or a due diligence of the coffee producing company. To assess the merits of a decision to de-diversify investments, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. In this particular case, other instances illustrating the demand changes for coffee and cola. Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.


Using the unofficial AWA grader GMATAWA, here is what I have:


AWA Score: 5 to 5.5 out of 6!


Coherence and connectivity: 4/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.


Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!



:fingers_crossed: Please do not forget to use the Chineseburnt AWA Template!
https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html

Originally posted by RuJas on 22 Apr 2020, 01:56.
Last edited by bb on 17 Apr 2021, 00:00, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee [#permalink]
Hi, can somebody rate my AWA on this topic?
Thanks

The argument claims that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will significantly decrease over the 20 years since the adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years. Stated in this way the argument manipulates facts and presents a distorted view of the situation. The argument reveals examples of a leap of faith, poor reasoning, and ill-defined terminology. The conclusion of the argument depends on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is weak and has several flaws.

Firstly, the argument readily assumes that some trend which was true for the past 40 years will be true for the next 20 years too. The statement is a stretch as there is substantive evidence for that. For example, what if people start to hate coffee as they age and they start to like cola as they age. Clearly, the argument will fall down. The argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly stated that the trends will continue in the future too.

Second, the author readily claims that the number of older adults will significantly increase over the next 20 years so they should therefore shift their investments from cola to coffee. This is again very weak as the argument fails to demonstrate any relationship between the growth rate of the population the birth rate and the death rate of the population. To illustrate, we don’t know how many people will die and how many people will be born over the next 20 years. If the statement had provided evidence that the growth rate and the death rate will be much less comparatively then the argument would have been more substantive.

Finally, the argument fails to mention one of the key factors on the basis of which it can be evaluated. What percentage of people like Early Bird Coffee and cola loca? What are the profit share of early bird coffee and cola loca in the market? Without substantive answers to these questions, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of a wishful thinking than substantive evidence.

In short, the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. The argument could be considerably strengthened if the author mentioned all of the relevant facts.
In order to assess the merits and demerits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors. In this particular case, the death rate and birth rate of population, the market share of both companies, the profit share of both the companies. Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and is open to debate.
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee [#permalink]
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Using the unofficial AWA grader GMATAWA, here is what I have:


AWA Score: 5 to 5.5 out of 6!


Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.


Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!



:fingers_crossed: Please do not forget to use the Chineseburnt AWA Template!
https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html



Soumyadeeppal wrote:
Hi, can somebody rate my AWA on this topic?
Thanks

The argument claims that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will significantly decrease over the 20 years since the adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years. Stated in this way the argument manipulates facts and presents a distorted view of the situation. The argument reveals examples of a leap of faith, poor reasoning, and ill-defined terminology. The conclusion of the argument depends on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is weak and has several flaws.

Firstly, the argument readily assumes that some trend which was true for the past 40 years will be true for the next 20 years too. The statement is a stretch as there is substantive evidence for that. For example, what if people start to hate coffee as they age and they start to like cola as they age. Clearly, the argument will fall down. The argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly stated that the trends will continue in the future too.

Second, the author readily claims that the number of older adults will significantly increase over the next 20 years so they should therefore shift their investments from cola to coffee. This is again very weak as the argument fails to demonstrate any relationship between the growth rate of the population the birth rate and the death rate of the population. To illustrate, we don’t know how many people will die and how many people will be born over the next 20 years. If the statement had provided evidence that the growth rate and the death rate will be much less comparatively then the argument would have been more substantive.

Finally, the argument fails to mention one of the key factors on the basis of which it can be evaluated. What percentage of people like Early Bird Coffee and cola loca? What are the profit share of early bird coffee and cola loca in the market? Without substantive answers to these questions, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of a wishful thinking than substantive evidence.

In short, the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. The argument could be considerably strengthened if the author mentioned all of the relevant facts.
In order to assess the merits and demerits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors. In this particular case, the death rate and birth rate of population, the market share of both companies, the profit share of both the companies. Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and is open to debate.
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee [#permalink]
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Using the unofficial AWA grader GMATAWA, here is what I have:


AWA Score: 4.5 out of 6!

Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.


Vocabulary and word expression: 3.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!



:fingers_crossed: Please do not forget to use the Chineseburnt AWA Template!
https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html


rite2deepti wrote:
The following appeared as part of the business plan of an investment and financial consulting firm.
“Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee increases with age, from age 10 through age 60. Even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high. The average cola drinker’s consumption of cola, however, declines with increasing age. Both of these trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. Given that the number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, it follows that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. We should, therefore, consider transferring our investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
.....................................................................................................................................................................
In the given argument the author of the business plan has an assumption that the average consumption of coffee increases with age and even after the age of 60 the consumption remains high.However the average cola consumption declines with increasing age.According to the author both the trends have remained stable for past 40 years.So by looking at these figures the author concludes that the older adults with increase significantly over next 20 years, because the population will be aging over 20 years,which means that the demand for coffee will increase and demand for cola will decrease.
Therefore, the author suggests that the company should consider transferring investements form Cola to Early Bird coffee.



The argument is flawed for several reasons as the author does not show relevant statstics that the consumption of coffee increases with age and consumption of cola decreases with age.The author should provide enough information for us to know that from which source the information was gathered.It might be possible that the numbers what the author is reffering to is collected form one area or just one city.So that does not assume that it implies to all the cities and all the countries that the consumption of cola will decrease with age and consumption of cofffee will increase with age.



The author also quotes that the trends have been stable for past 40 years, but agian the author does not cite relevant source that according to which study the trends are shown; is it an international firm that that conducted the study or is it just an local company who had gathered all the data and drawn conclusion.The author also falis to cite that how many people were included in the study.There can be a possiblity that the study is just based on 100 people.Whereas we need more people to give their views.



Also the author fails to give information that the company is targetting at a local city or many other countries.The author should give proper information so that the reader can know that what is companys target location.There can be a possiblity that the trend that author mentions Increase in consumption of coffee with age and decrease in consumption of cola with age might be relevant to just one city.If the company wishes to expand its business into ather location this trend might not be valid at all.



The author also falsely assumes that the trend will continue that old people will continue their intake of coffee even after the age of 60,there can be a possiblity that due to health awaress campaings the Older people might consider to leave coffee and switch to some other herbal option.For this reason the authors assumption that this trend will continue that people are aging is not reasonable.



In order to validate the argument the author must provide relevant statistics to show that how many people were involved in teh survey and where the survey was exactly conducted.Also the author must reveal that the company targets local customers or international customers.Else the company can run into husge lossess, because there is always a possibility that in one city people might reduce their consumption of cola and increase their consumption of coffee with age.But in other cities or countries this trend might not be vaild at all.
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee [#permalink]
Hi all

Please review my AWA. Need very genuine suggestions.
===================================================================================
The following appeared as part of the business plan of an investment and financial consulting firm:

“Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee increases with age, from age 10 through age 60. Even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high. The average cola drinker’s consumption of cola, however, declines with increasing age. Both of these trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. Given that the number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, it follows that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. We should, therefore, consider transferring our investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee.”

Response:

An investment and financial consulting firm presented in it's business plan that as per studies an average coffee drinker's consumption increases with age from 10 through 60 and after 60 the coffee consumption remains high. But the cola consumption follows an completely opposite graph where consumption decreases with increasing age. The Business plan also claims that the trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. The firm also predicts that since the number of adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years , the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. They further suggest that focus of current and various upcoming industries should be on coffee production rather than cola productions as that's the future. All the details present in the plan are based on multiple assumptions and the claims lack evidence to support them . Hence the argument is seriously flawed and is unconvincing.

Firstly the argument present details without any valid or or official surveys.It's based on just one study. It's also not clear what was the pool size on which the survey was conducted and if it had people from different ages. We might see a different trend if these factors would have been considered while conducting the survey. Similarly for Cola drinkers the trend might be different if the correct factors would have been considered during the survey. Even if when the firm would have provided some evidence to support the trends the argument would have been convincing

Secondly the forecasting done by the firm is seriously flawed. It's completely based on some random unofficial and incorrect study. The future trend can be completely different from what has been stated as a past trend. If proper health campaigns are organized people might be more aware about their health and switch to other healthy alternatives from coffee or cola. If this happens the entire prediction will be wrong.

Lastly the firms also suggests to invest in coffee based industries industries which again is wrong . We never know when we might be introduced with a much healthy alternative and the coffee and cola industry might become a deserted industry. Just predicting an outcome based on a past trend which again has no support is wrong and can be disastrous . It's very risky for the future industries.

In conclusion the argument/ business plan is completely flawed for the aforementioned reasons. It would been a strong plan if the right facts and figures would have been presented along. The study also would have been correct if the right factors and right sample size would have been considered. Presenting such details without proper research or knowledge may misguide a person or an industry towards wrong directions .

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AWA Score: 5.5-6 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of
each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!


Good luck

ArindamLucky wrote:
Hi all

Please review my AWA. Need very genuine suggestions.
===================================================================================
The following appeared as part of the business plan of an investment and financial consulting firm:

“Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee increases with age, from age 10 through age 60. Even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high. The average cola drinker’s consumption of cola, however, declines with increasing age. Both of these trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. Given that the number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, it follows that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. We should, therefore, consider transferring our investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee.”

Response:

An investment and financial consulting firm presented in it's business plan that as per studies an average coffee drinker's consumption increases with age from 10 through 60 and after 60 the coffee consumption remains high. But the cola consumption follows an completely opposite graph where consumption decreases with increasing age. The Business plan also claims that the trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. The firm also predicts that since the number of adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years , the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. They further suggest that focus of current and various upcoming industries should be on coffee production rather than cola productions as that's the future. All the details present in the plan are based on multiple assumptions and the claims lack evidence to support them . Hence the argument is seriously flawed and is unconvincing.

Firstly the argument present details without any valid or or official surveys.It's based on just one study. It's also not clear what was the pool size on which the survey was conducted and if it had people from different ages. We might see a different trend if these factors would have been considered while conducting the survey. Similarly for Cola drinkers the trend might be different if the correct factors would have been considered during the survey. Even if when the firm would have provided some evidence to support the trends the argument would have been convincing

Secondly the forecasting done by the firm is seriously flawed. It's completely based on some random unofficial and incorrect study. The future trend can be completely different from what has been stated as a past trend. If proper health campaigns are organized people might be more aware about their health and switch to other healthy alternatives from coffee or cola. If this happens the entire prediction will be wrong.

Lastly the firms also suggests to invest in coffee based industries industries which again is wrong . We never know when we might be introduced with a much healthy alternative and the coffee and cola industry might become a deserted industry. Just predicting an outcome based on a past trend which again has no support is wrong and can be disastrous . It's very risky for the future industries.

In conclusion the argument/ business plan is completely flawed for the aforementioned reasons. It would been a strong plan if the right facts and figures would have been presented along. The study also would have been correct if the right factors and right sample size would have been considered. Presenting such details without proper research or knowledge may misguide a person or an industry towards wrong directions .

==========================================================================================
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee [#permalink]
Can anyone pls evaluate my essay and share your valuable inputs.
Thanks in advance.

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The argument claims that due to the increasing demand of coffee when compared to the cola among the age group above 60 , the business plan of an investment and consulting form states that , the firm should consider transferring the investments form Coca Loca to Early Bird Coffee. The conclusion of the argument is based on the premise that the number of older adults, who consumes more coffee as they age, are likely to increase the next 20 years . The conclusion of the argument is based on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence , this argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.

First , the argument readily assumes that the coffee and cola has the same target consumers. The argument mentions that the average cola drinker's consumption of cola declines with increasing age whereas , the average coffee drinkers consumption of coffee increases with age. However, the argument fails to mention facts such as if the sample or target consumers considered for the study consists of the same people who consumes both or two different consumers. The author also fails to mention that if this survey or the trend observed is specific to one particular location/region or global consumers.

Second , the argument fails to mention clearly if the trend taken for consideration substantiates the required parameters to conclude the average consumption of coffee and cola. The author fails to mention the credibility of the trend mentioned in the business plan. The business plan invests a leap faith on a trend, which lacks validation.

Finally , the author fails to mention one of the most important key factor based on which this argument has to be evaluated. The argument blindly states that the number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years. The argument fails to take into consideration that , if the older population increases it is explicit that the other age group population will also increase. As the present coffee consumers will be replaced by another set of people and the same applies to other age group as well. The argument fails to take into account that the consumers of the cola is subjected to increase in the similar way the consumers of coffee drinkers are likely to increase.

Without the above assumptions and clarifications , the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate. The argument in the business plan should be backed up with valid relevant information such as region based valid data based on the survey , clarity on target consumers (if they are overlapped) and authentic data of population projection for the next 20 years ,without which the argument will remain flawed.
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee [#permalink]
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AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6

I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!


Good Luck

MiruChan wrote:
Can anyone pls evaluate my essay and share your valuable inputs.
Thanks in advance.

My response:

The argument claims that due to the increasing demand of coffee when compared to the cola among the age group above 60 , the business plan of an investment and consulting form states that , the firm should consider transferring the investments form Coca Loca to Early Bird Coffee. The conclusion of the argument is based on the premise that the number of older adults, who consumes more coffee as they age, are likely to increase the next 20 years . The conclusion of the argument is based on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence , this argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.

First , the argument readily assumes that the coffee and cola has the same target consumers. The argument mentions that the average cola drinker's consumption of cola declines with increasing age whereas , the average coffee drinkers consumption of coffee increases with age. However, the argument fails to mention facts such as if the sample or target consumers considered for the study consists of the same people who consumes both or two different consumers. The author also fails to mention that if this survey or the trend observed is specific to one particular location/region or global consumers.

Second , the argument fails to mention clearly if the trend taken for consideration substantiates the required parameters to conclude the average consumption of coffee and cola. The author fails to mention the credibility of the trend mentioned in the business plan. The business plan invests a leap faith on a trend, which lacks validation.

Finally , the author fails to mention one of the most important key factor based on which this argument has to be evaluated. The argument blindly states that the number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years. The argument fails to take into consideration that , if the older population increases it is explicit that the other age group population will also increase. As the present coffee consumers will be replaced by another set of people and the same applies to other age group as well. The argument fails to take into account that the consumers of the cola is subjected to increase in the similar way the consumers of coffee drinkers are likely to increase.

Without the above assumptions and clarifications , the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate. The argument in the business plan should be backed up with valid relevant information such as region based valid data based on the survey , clarity on target consumers (if they are overlapped) and authentic data of population projection for the next 20 years ,without which the argument will remain flawed.
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinkers consumption of coffee [#permalink]
Dear Sajjad1994 and Experts,
Can you rate my essay? Thanks in advance!

The argument claims to support "transferring investment from Coca Cola to Early Bird coffee" is weakly supported. The argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that increasing average consumption is equivalent to increasing absolute number of the consumption among the population. The statement is a stretch. For example, the consumption of coffee might increase from 10% to 20% through the age while the consumption of cola decreases from 40% to 30%. The consumption of cola could still be higher than coffee despite the decrease. Hence, the argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly stated the actual percentage of consumption for both coffee and cola.

Second, the argument claims that transferring the investments from coca cola to Early Bird coffee is a better choice without knowing the actual profit margin of both the products. This is again a weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not demonstrate the correlation between the consumption with profit margin and return of investment. To illustrate this, although consumption of coffee is higher, the profit margin is much lower as compared to cola. The cola business brings in better profit and hence higher return of investment, If the argument had provided the evidence that coffee has delivered higher profit and return of the investment, then the argument would have been a lot more convincing.

Finally, the argument also assumes that the coffee consumption will translate to good investment in Early Bird coffee. It fails to substantiate the early bird coffee will be the choice of coffee drinker. To illustrate this, early bird coffee could be less famous and less preferred by them due to the they dislike the fragrance as compared to other coffee brands. In addition, there are many coffee brands in the market, making the coffee business very competitive. In contrast, Coca Cola is a famous brand which owns most of the market share. It is the preferred choice of cola drinker.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could be strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts. In order to access the merits of investment, it is essential to have full knowledge of the all contributing factors. In this case, they are the actual consumption, profit, market share and other factors. Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinkers consumption of coffee [#permalink]
Expert Reply
AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 3.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!


Good Luck

RyanLim wrote:
Dear Sajjad1994 and Experts,
Can you rate my essay? Thanks in advance!

The argument claims to support "transferring investment from Coca Cola to Early Bird coffee" is weakly supported. The argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that increasing average consumption is equivalent to increasing absolute number of the consumption among the population. The statement is a stretch. For example, the consumption of coffee might increase from 10% to 20% through the age while the consumption of cola decreases from 40% to 30%. The consumption of cola could still be higher than coffee despite the decrease. Hence, the argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly stated the actual percentage of consumption for both coffee and cola.

Second, the argument claims that transferring the investments from coca cola to Early Bird coffee is a better choice without knowing the actual profit margin of both the products. This is again a weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not demonstrate the correlation between the consumption with profit margin and return of investment. To illustrate this, although consumption of coffee is higher, the profit margin is much lower as compared to cola. The cola business brings in better profit and hence higher return of investment, If the argument had provided the evidence that coffee has delivered higher profit and return of the investment, then the argument would have been a lot more convincing.

Finally, the argument also assumes that the coffee consumption will translate to good investment in Early Bird coffee. It fails to substantiate the early bird coffee will be the choice of coffee drinker. To illustrate this, early bird coffee could be less famous and less preferred by them due to the they dislike the fragrance as compared to other coffee brands. In addition, there are many coffee brands in the market, making the coffee business very competitive. In contrast, Coca Cola is a famous brand which owns most of the market share. It is the preferred choice of cola drinker.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could be strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts. In order to access the merits of investment, it is essential to have full knowledge of the all contributing factors. In this case, they are the actual consumption, profit, market share and other factors. Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinkers consumption of coffee [#permalink]
Sajjad1994. Please review my AWA. It would be of great help . thanks in advance .


The Author presents the conclusion that company should consider transferring the investments from Coca Cola to Early Bird Coffee on the basis of certain facts and assumptions. The Author may have provided evidences in support of conclusion but these evidence reinforce the conclusion in a weal manner and author presents a poorly reasoned argument.
Firstly , author has said consumption of cola is declining with age and number of adults will significantly increase as population ages and demand for cola will decrease . However , we cannot make prediction that demand shall decrease. It may be possible that presently cola is expensive and not affordable by many drinkers and companies are trying to reduce charge so that at point of time demand shall rise. No evidence has been given for affinity towards coffee and divergence towards cola.
Secondly , author assumes that coffee demand shall increase. It may be the case but author has not provided substantiated facts for believing her case. Instead she has considered the demand shall rise. What may be true for 40 years may not hold for future as conditions of economies might change . May be because of weather conditions coffee may be difficult to cultivate and if demand is high , price of coffee may further shoot up and that may prevent coffee to consumed by people. There may be several factors that may change the demand for coming years .
Thirdly , author is warranting to consider transferring our investment to Early bird Coffee from Cola Cola. Now this a substantial leap from premise to conclusion. Author has not provided any data for patterns of revenue and costs . Their may be substantial fixed asset costs incurred for cola machine than Coffee machine and it may lead to severe loss if such a transition is made.
Therefore , on the basis of evidence provided by author conclusion does not seem to follow as he present a poorly reasoned argument. Author argument may be strengthened if proper facts or evidences are presented to follow the conclusion. It may be possible that mix of both may serve a purpose rather than transferring the investments from Cola Cola to Early bird coffee may make business plan feasible.
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinkers consumption of coffee [#permalink]
Expert Reply
Please make paragraphs clear, I see no paragraphing in this essay.

ankitbagla wrote:
Sajjad1994. Please review my AWA. It would be of great help . thanks in advance .


The Author presents the conclusion that company should consider transferring the investments from Coca Cola to Early Bird Coffee on the basis of certain facts and assumptions. The Author may have provided evidences in support of conclusion but these evidence reinforce the conclusion in a weal manner and author presents a poorly reasoned argument.
Firstly , author has said consumption of cola is declining with age and number of adults will significantly increase as population ages and demand for cola will decrease . However , we cannot make prediction that demand shall decrease. It may be possible that presently cola is expensive and not affordable by many drinkers and companies are trying to reduce charge so that at point of time demand shall rise. No evidence has been given for affinity towards coffee and divergence towards cola.
Secondly , author assumes that coffee demand shall increase. It may be the case but author has not provided substantiated facts for believing her case. Instead she has considered the demand shall rise. What may be true for 40 years may not hold for future as conditions of economies might change . May be because of weather conditions coffee may be difficult to cultivate and if demand is high , price of coffee may further shoot up and that may prevent coffee to consumed by people. There may be several factors that may change the demand for coming years .
Thirdly , author is warranting to consider transferring our investment to Early bird Coffee from Cola Cola. Now this a substantial leap from premise to conclusion. Author has not provided any data for patterns of revenue and costs . Their may be substantial fixed asset costs incurred for cola machine than Coffee machine and it may lead to severe loss if such a transition is made.
Therefore , on the basis of evidence provided by author conclusion does not seem to follow as he present a poorly reasoned argument. Author argument may be strengthened if proper facts or evidences are presented to follow the conclusion. It may be possible that mix of both may serve a purpose rather than transferring the investments from Cola Cola to Early bird coffee may make business plan feasible.
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinkers consumption of coffee [#permalink]
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Sajjad1994. please see.


The Author presents the conclusion that company should consider transferring the investments from Coca Cola to Early Bird Coffee on the basis of certain facts and assumptions. The Author may have provided evidences in support of conclusion but these evidence reinforce the conclusion in a weal manner and author presents a poorly reasoned argument.

Firstly , author has said consumption of cola is declining with age and number of adults will significantly increase as population ages and demand for cola will decrease . However , we cannot make prediction that demand shall decrease. It may be possible that presently cola is expensive and not affordable by many drinkers and companies are trying to reduce charge so that at point of time demand shall rise. No evidence has been given for affinity towards coffee and divergence towards cola.

Secondly , author assumes that coffee demand shall increase. It may be the case but author has not provided substantiated facts for believing her case. Instead she has considered the demand shall rise. What may be true for 40 years may not hold for future as conditions of economies might change . May be because of weather conditions coffee may be difficult to cultivate and if demand is high , price of coffee may further shoot up and that may prevent coffee to consumed by people. There may be several factors that may change the demand for coming years .

Thirdly , author is warranting to consider transferring our investment to Early bird Coffee from Cola Cola. Now this a substantial leap from premise to conclusion. Author has not provided any data for patterns of revenue and costs . Their may be substantial fixed asset costs incurred for cola machine than Coffee machine and it may lead to severe loss if such a transition is made.

Therefore , on the basis of evidence provided by author conclusion does not seem to follow as he present a poorly reasoned argument. Author argument may be strengthened if proper facts or evidences are presented to follow the conclusion. It may be possible that mix of both may serve a purpose rather than transferring the investments from Cola Cola to Early bird coffee may make business plan feasible.
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Re: Studies suggest that an average coffee drinkers consumption of coffee [#permalink]
Expert Reply
AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!


Good Luck

ankitbagla wrote:
Sajjad1994. please see.

The Author presents the conclusion that company should consider transferring the investments from Coca Cola to Early Bird Coffee on the basis of certain facts and assumptions. The Author may have provided evidences in support of conclusion but these evidence reinforce the conclusion in a weal manner and author presents a poorly reasoned argument.

Firstly , author has said consumption of cola is declining with age and number of adults will significantly increase as population ages and demand for cola will decrease . However , we cannot make prediction that demand shall decrease. It may be possible that presently cola is expensive and not affordable by many drinkers and companies are trying to reduce charge so that at point of time demand shall rise. No evidence has been given for affinity towards coffee and divergence towards cola.

Secondly , author assumes that coffee demand shall increase. It may be the case but author has not provided substantiated facts for believing her case. Instead she has considered the demand shall rise. What may be true for 40 years may not hold for future as conditions of economies might change . May be because of weather conditions coffee may be difficult to cultivate and if demand is high , price of coffee may further shoot up and that may prevent coffee to consumed by people. There may be several factors that may change the demand for coming years .

Thirdly , author is warranting to consider transferring our investment to Early bird Coffee from Cola Cola. Now this a substantial leap from premise to conclusion. Author has not provided any data for patterns of revenue and costs . Their may be substantial fixed asset costs incurred for cola machine than Coffee machine and it may lead to severe loss if such a transition is made.

Therefore , on the basis of evidence provided by author conclusion does not seem to follow as he present a poorly reasoned argument. Author argument may be strengthened if proper facts or evidences are presented to follow the conclusion. It may be possible that mix of both may serve a purpose rather than transferring the investments from Cola Cola to Early bird coffee may make business plan feasible.
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