Last visit was: 22 May 2024, 08:16 It is currently 22 May 2024, 08:16
Toolkit
GMAT Club Daily Prep
Thank you for using the timer - this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.

Customized
for You

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Track

every week, we’ll send you an estimated GMAT score based on your performance

Practice
Pays

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History
Not interested in getting valuable practice questions and articles delivered to your email? No problem, unsubscribe here.

# Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay

SORT BY:
Tags:
Show Tags
Hide Tags
Tutor
Joined: 10 Jul 2015
Status:Expert GMAT, GRE, and LSAT Tutor / Coach
Affiliations: Harvard University, A.B. with honors in Government, 2002
Posts: 1180
Own Kudos [?]: 2426 [197]
Given Kudos: 273
Location: United States (CO)
Age: 44
GMAT 1: 770 Q47 V48
GMAT 2: 730 Q44 V47
GMAT 3: 750 Q50 V42
GMAT 4: 730 Q48 V42 (Online)
GRE 1: Q168 V169

GRE 2: Q170 V170
Intern
Joined: 24 Sep 2017
Posts: 3
Own Kudos [?]: 2 [2]
Given Kudos: 63
Intern
Joined: 20 Nov 2017
Posts: 5
Own Kudos [?]: 0 [0]
Given Kudos: 179
Director
Joined: 21 Feb 2017
Posts: 521
Own Kudos [?]: 1054 [1]
Given Kudos: 1091
Location: India
GMAT 1: 700 Q47 V39
Re: Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay [#permalink]
1
Kudos
Hey, thanks a lot for sharing this. Is it possible to get a pdf version of the same? I would love to take a print-out version of this for the ease of reviewing it later.
Intern
Joined: 09 Jun 2020
Posts: 1
Own Kudos [?]: 0 [0]
Given Kudos: 0
Re: Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay [#permalink]
I totally agree with you. Great post A lot of useful.
VP
Joined: 15 Dec 2016
Posts: 1365
Own Kudos [?]: 213 [3]
Given Kudos: 189
Re: Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay [#permalink]
2
Kudos
1
Bookmarks
The author argues that Ready to Ware offer the same insurance package it offered two years and use the savings from this move to fund research and development in order to bring the company back to profit. While the argument may have some merit, it does have several flaws. The three main flaws are 1) assumptions about incidents in the past 2) lack of clear evidence suggesting insurance packages is the problem with recruitment 3) economical .

1) The author suggests that when Ready-to-Ware offered the new insurance package two years, profits started declining. There is a flaw in this argument because its quite possible that the profit were declining for other reasons not relate to the introduction of the package. Its quite possible there are other reasons (example: increase in costs elsewhere, perhaps decline in revenues, loss of market share because of an introduction of a new competitor) that is responsible for the reduction in profit. The author can improve this argument by giving evidence to provide that all other costs / revenues have all remained the same over the two years. The only cost that has increased in the company is related to the introduction of the insurance package.

2) Another flaw in the argument is the lack of evidence in supporting the claim, Ready to Ware has had recruiting and training high quality professional staff. Its quite possible that recruits are not coming to Ready to Ware perhaps for other reasons, completely unrelated to the insurance package being provided. For example, perhaps salaries being offered are not per market standards. Other reasons like reputation of the company / work life balance are different factors that could play a role. In order to strengthen this argument, the author could conduct a survey with recruits confirming if all other factors are not in play. Furthermore, Ready-to- ware could hire a HR consultant to confirm if other factors (like salary / work life balance/ company reputation) are not in play.

3) The third flaw in the argument is economical. The plan mentioned by the author was to go back to insurance package used two years ago and instead fund research and development with the savings in order to bring the company back to profit. This could be problem because its quite possible that Research and development will not bring about profit either. Furthermore, its quite possible that employees may quit the firm, further creating more problems regarding retaining top talent. In order to improve this argument, the author needs to provide numbers to suggest, just how much profit will the additional funding into R&D bring and by when. Furthermore, the author needs to consider the probability of success with R&D. Has R&D a sure shot way of definitely providing Profit and if so, by when.

In conclusion, the company does have to make changes in order to get back to profit. Unless the author provides further evidence as suggested in the aforementioned three flaws , the conclusion as it currently stands does have serious flaws and stands only on assumptions.
VP
Joined: 15 Dec 2016
Posts: 1365
Own Kudos [?]: 213 [1]
Given Kudos: 189
Re: Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay [#permalink]
1
Bookmarks
The argument is that new benefits and incentives are too costly. Thus, in order to get back to profitability, the author states that Ready-to Ware give up it’s new benefits / incentives package and go back to the previous incentive/ benefits package offered. The reasoning was when the earlier benefits/ incentives package was given, the company was in profit. While the author may have a point but the argument does have three flaws – namely i) unnecessary assumptions about R&D ii) correlation does not necessarily mean causation iii) potential implementation impacts on the bottom line

The first flaw is assuming investing in R&D will lead to profitability. The author has not given any evidence to suggest that R&D is a profitable venture itself. It’s quite possible that R&D is a risky investment and the profitability from R&D may occur several years in the future or instead perhaps a cost in itself. The author can strengthen this by giving examples of past incidents when R&D has brought profitability to the firm / what is the percentage of success.

The second flaw is correlation is being confused with causation. Just because in the past, the old benefits package was offered and company was profitable, there is no evidence to suggest that the savings from the package or something related to this old package was the driver behind the company being profitable. It’s quite possible that other factors were reasons why the company was profitable and those factors are no longer applicable two years later. In order to strengthen this, one way the author can do so is present evidence to suggest that the old benefits package is the only factor responsible for the company being profitable

The third flaw could be implementation fallacies – if we go back to the earlier package, its’ quite possible that employees perhaps have lower productivity, lower morale and perhaps jump ship to competitor firms who still offer the new package. Now that employees are going back from the new package to the old package, this may have impact on employee morality and thus employee productivity. In order to make sure, there are no implementation fallouts – the author should present evidence to confirm there are no implementation effects on employees (evidence like; market intelligence regarding if other competitors for example offer the new package? Confidential employee surveys with regards to how employees will react to this change)

Thus, in conclusion, while the argument has put forth an argument, it does have flaws. The author can strengthen these by confirm i) R&D is profitable ii) whether the old benefits package was the only reason why the firm was profitable in the past and finally surveys of how employees will react to this change and its impacts on their morale.
Intern
Joined: 08 Feb 2021
Posts: 1
Own Kudos [?]: 0 [0]
Given Kudos: 0
Re: Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay [#permalink]
I love this sample, thank you sharing!
Tutor
Joined: 10 Jul 2015
Status:Expert GMAT, GRE, and LSAT Tutor / Coach
Affiliations: Harvard University, A.B. with honors in Government, 2002
Posts: 1180
Own Kudos [?]: 2426 [1]
Given Kudos: 273
Location: United States (CO)
Age: 44
GMAT 1: 770 Q47 V48
GMAT 2: 730 Q44 V47
GMAT 3: 750 Q50 V42
GMAT 4: 730 Q48 V42 (Online)
GRE 1: Q168 V169

GRE 2: Q170 V170
Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay [#permalink]
1
Kudos
Top Contributor
Happy to help and good luck on your AWA, everybody!

77 Kudos and 115 Bookmarks...not bad for someone not named Bunuel. ; )

Don't forget to check out the famous ChineseBurned AWA Template as well.

-Brian

Originally posted by mcelroytutoring on 17 Oct 2021, 13:16.
Last edited by mcelroytutoring on 27 Jan 2024, 10:53, edited 1 time in total.
Intern
Joined: 13 Dec 2021
Posts: 17
Own Kudos [?]: 4 [1]
Given Kudos: 118
Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay [#permalink]
Here is my take on the essay prompt:

The author of the memorandum claims that the funds for the benefits and incentives package in Ready to Wear should be reduced and transferred to research and development initiatives in order to boost profitability. This conclusion is based on the premise that the quarterly profits that declined was the result of the costly benefits and incentives. In addition, the author also states that the package has little positive effect, since the company only had a marginal success of recruiting and training high-quality professional staff. However, several assumptions were made without any clear evidence. Thus, the conclusion is based on faulty premises and is therefore subject to several flaws.

Firstly, the author attributed the decline of quarterly profits to the expense of the package. This is not necessarily the case, since a decline in profits could be caused by various factors such as supply and demand, inflation and company leadership. In addition, the package would not only be the company’s sole expense. There are other variable and fixed expenses to consider such as raw materials, utilities, rentals, and the like. The memorandum could have been clearer if it mentioned that the profits were stable or increasing, but majority of the growing expense was coming from the benefits and incentives package for employees.

Secondly, the author claims that the marginal success for training and recruitment has been low, so the package is ineffective. However, the marginal success for training and recruitment could have been caused by other factors such as job market trends, unemployment rates and the recruitment process. For example, even if the benefits package were attractive, if the company has an inefficient recruitment process, then there’s a possibility that they’re not hiring the best people for the job after all. Hence, the marginal success for training and recruitment is not directly correlated to the benefits package.

Finally, the author concludes that reducing the budget for benefits and transferring it to research and development would result to higher profitability. While this could definitely be possible, the company runs the risk of losing their most competent employees and hiring those with even worse job fit, since the salary and benefits are things that make the company competitive in the job market. Additionally, the memorandum was written by the director of the research and development team. Therefore, the author’s opinion could be biased. The memorandum could have been more objective if it was written by a person who did a more extensive research to explain the issue at hand and who would not potentially have an ulterior motive.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the reasons stated. There is not enough evidence to conclude that transferring the funds from employee benefits to R&D would result to higher profitability. Ready-to-Ware will need to dive deeper and reevaluate whether that is the best decision to increase income. Lastly, the company should check on the reasons for the introduction of the package two years ago and how competitive this package is compared to their industry competitors. These will then help provide a proper benchmark to their benefits and incentives package.
Manager
Joined: 04 Nov 2016
Posts: 122
Own Kudos [?]: 21 [2]
Given Kudos: 599
Location: Viet Nam
GMAT 1: 710 Q50 V35
GMAT 2: 720 Q49 V38
GPA: 3.12
Re: Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay [#permalink]
2
Kudos
Have no idea how the candidate wrote that so many texts within 30 minutes!!!
Founder
Joined: 04 Dec 2002
Posts: 37465
Own Kudos [?]: 73318 [1]
Given Kudos: 19003
Location: United States (WA)
GMAT 1: 750 Q49 V42
GPA: 3
Re: Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay [#permalink]
1
Kudos
tinbq wrote:
Have no idea how the candidate wrote that so many texts within 30 minutes!!!

LOL. Good point.
You don’t have to write a lot on AWA but it generally helps based on some random research using the automated greeting tool that I have seen… though usually the recommendations to use the template by Chinese burnt.

Posted from my mobile device
Intern
Joined: 16 Dec 2023
Posts: 3
Own Kudos [?]: 1 [0]
Given Kudos: 11
Re: Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay [#permalink]
Here's my version for the same.
chineseburned thanks for the template.

The argument claims that by reducing the benefits and incentives included in the package, which Ready-2-wear offers to professional staff, the company will be able to save money and utilise it in other avenues such as research and development. This statement presents inconclusive information, offering dubious support and from this draws unreasonably far-reaching conclusions.

First, the argument readily assumes that the cost of the package is high. This statement is a stretch and not substantiated in any way. Cost is relative to people and provided services. To say it is expensive one needs to analyse exactly what value is delivered to our customers. For example, most of the professional services provided in the market are costly due its nature of being special and personalised. In addition to this, the statement points out the drop in quarterly profits to high costs of the package. This correlation is baseless and needs evidence. It can be the case where even though the quarterly profits have declined over the last two years but overall profits have increased for the entire period. There can be other factors leading to cash burnout and falsely attributing the difference to the package's losses can be a serious flaw in coming to this conclusion.

Second, the argument claims that the company has had marginal success in recruiting and training high-quality professional staff. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between the number of customers and profits. We don't have a scale to measure the success of this company. To illustrate this gap, we can take an example of a company which also offers professional services to people. It can be the case that in order to be profitable you need only 4-5 customers a month. Because the costs are relatively high for such kinds of packages, the company can suffice with generating enough revenue to become profitable from these few customers.

Finally, the argument concludes that the company can save money by reducing the incentives it offers in the package and invest that amount in research and development initiatives. From this statement again, it is not at all clear how it will become profitable. It might be the case that the current customers are using the package for bundled benefits and discontinuing the same will lead the company to lose these customers as well. On the contrary comparing the profits for this package with this year to last year needs data. We need to know what were the sales and profits of the package with reduced benefits and incentives before the tow year period. Also, will funding research and development initiatives lead to more sales and help the company to become more profitable? There's no proof to back this. Also, instead of saving the money the package could be marketed better and this could drive the sales better. Without supporting evidence and data from the past two year period and the current sales number, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence. As a result the conclusion has no legs to stand on.

In summary, the argument is flawed and thus unconvincing. The statement could have been strengthened if the company had provided all the relevant facts. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors.
GRE Forum Moderator
Joined: 02 Nov 2016
Posts: 14034
Own Kudos [?]: 34027 [0]
Given Kudos: 5806
GPA: 3.62
Re: Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay [#permalink]
AWA Score: 5 out of 6

Coherence and Connectivity: 5/6
The essay demonstrates good coherence and connectivity. Ideas are logically organized, and there is a clear flow between sentences and paragraphs. The transitions help guide the reader through the analysis effectively.

Word Structure: 5/6
The word structure is generally clear, and the essay uses a variety of sentence structures. There are no major issues with word choice or phrasing. However, the phrase "Ready-2-wear" should be corrected to "Ready-to-Ware" for accuracy.

Paragraph Structure and Formation: 5/6
The paragraph structure is well-formed, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to the overall coherence.

Language and Grammar: 5/6
The language is clear, and the grammar is mostly accurate. There are a few minor grammatical errors, such as "Cost is relative to people and provided services," where it would be more precise to say, "Cost is relative to the services provided to people." Additionally, there is a minor issue in the phrase "this company can suffice with generating enough revenue," where it might be clearer to say, "this company can suffice by generating enough revenue."

Vocabulary and Word Expression: 5/6
The vocabulary is varied, and expressions are generally clear. The essay effectively uses terminology relevant to the argument. However, there is room for improvement in terms of using more varied vocabulary for phrases like "very weak" and "unsupported claim."

Grammatical mistakes and errors:

"Cost is relative to people and provided services" could be revised to "Cost is relative to the services provided to people."
In the phrase "this company can suffice with generating enough revenue," it might be clearer to say, "this company can suffice by generating enough revenue."

Overall, the essay is well-structured, with clear analysis and effective communication of ideas. Minor improvements in grammar, vocabulary, and precision would enhance its overall quality.

smkj1713 wrote:
Here's my version for the same.
chineseburned thanks for the template.

The argument claims that by reducing the benefits and incentives included in the package, which Ready-2-wear offers to professional staff, the company will be able to save money and utilise it in other avenues such as research and development. This statement presents inconclusive information, offering dubious support and from this draws unreasonably far-reaching conclusions.

First, the argument readily assumes that the cost of the package is high. This statement is a stretch and not substantiated in any way. Cost is relative to people and provided services. To say it is expensive one needs to analyse exactly what value is delivered to our customers. For example, most of the professional services provided in the market are costly due its nature of being special and personalised. In addition to this, the statement points out the drop in quarterly profits to high costs of the package. This correlation is baseless and needs evidence. It can be the case where even though the quarterly profits have declined over the last two years but overall profits have increased for the entire period. There can be other factors leading to cash burnout and falsely attributing the difference to the package's losses can be a serious flaw in coming to this conclusion.

Second, the argument claims that the company has had marginal success in recruiting and training high-quality professional staff. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between the number of customers and profits. We don't have a scale to measure the success of this company. To illustrate this gap, we can take an example of a company which also offers professional services to people. It can be the case that in order to be profitable you need only 4-5 customers a month. Because the costs are relatively high for such kinds of packages, the company can suffice with generating enough revenue to become profitable from these few customers.

Finally, the argument concludes that the company can save money by reducing the incentives it offers in the package and invest that amount in research and development initiatives. From this statement again, it is not at all clear how it will become profitable. It might be the case that the current customers are using the package for bundled benefits and discontinuing the same will lead the company to lose these customers as well. On the contrary comparing the profits for this package with this year to last year needs data. We need to know what were the sales and profits of the package with reduced benefits and incentives before the tow year period. Also, will funding research and development initiatives lead to more sales and help the company to become more profitable? There's no proof to back this. Also, instead of saving the money the package could be marketed better and this could drive the sales better. Without supporting evidence and data from the past two year period and the current sales number, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence. As a result the conclusion has no legs to stand on.

In summary, the argument is flawed and thus unconvincing. The statement could have been strengthened if the company had provided all the relevant facts. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors.
Re: Sample AWA Prompt and 6/6 Essay [#permalink]
Moderators:
GMAT Club Verbal Expert
6936 posts
GMAT Club Verbal Expert
238 posts