When to break up? (or decline offer of admission)

Completely off from the original topic but related to the last few. I think a lot of people on here are married or have significant others...we just happen to be at the age frame where a lot of folks start to settle down. I could see a long distance relationship during B-school being nearly impossible but most people I have met who were married or involved easily make it work. Yeah its a little tougher, but if you pick the right school and hang out with the right crowd it simplifies it a lot.

If you are married/seriously involved, hopefully you aimed for schools with pretty good reps for being significant other friendly or are heading to a city where your SO knows people. One thing that seemed universal across every school I visited or talked to, the married people said the best people to work with in groups were other married people. They were more motivated to get things done promptly instead of screwing around because of time concerns with the SO.

I also have been told that married people often form a tighter knit inner community because they tend to get together as a group with other couples. So make sure to include your wife/husband or whoever into things. I know from experience that as a couple its usually a lot easier to go out with couples than to hang out with a group made up of single people...lets put it this way, there are often different priorities when you are out.

Going back on the title topic, but off topic for the whole thread......


It would suck for the b school's siginifcant other to get dumped right before school after all the support given through the whole process.

Probably happens more than you realize. I bet its more of the significant other reevaluating the whole thing and deciding not to move. Some may try long distance, some actually make that work...but some might just say good luck, wish you the best, thanks for the memories.

I think dumping your SO right before going back to school is far less common than ditching your high school sweet heart as you head off to college.

My S.O. and I had a series of long talks about the whole thing. God bless him, he staunchly insists that he will follow me wherever I go, and that he will deal with basically being ignored for the first year. But trust me, at EVERY info session I attended, for every school, I asked a bunch of questions about SO's being included in campus activities, etc. I'm lucky - my guy is very outgoing and likable - but still, it's a lot to ask of someone. I was surprised by just how quickly adcoms and students fell all over themselves to assure me and anyone who would listen that not only did they welcome SO's but also that they had well-established programs specifically to answer SO's needs. A buddy of mine who followed his girl across country to school referred to those programs as "MBA Widows/Widowers Associations". He said they were awesome, so that made me feel a bit better about it...

My situation is a little different. I've been with my boyfriend for 9.5 years so I don't think we're taking a huge risk by living apart for two years. I'll probably move to Evanston and get my own apartment for the first time in my entire life. He'll stay in SF and start a graduate program with the support of both our families and a strong network of friends. We'll both get webcams and visit each other once a month. That's the plan for now. I know what the risks are, but I trust that I won't be a statistic.

If he came with me, he'd be virtually abandoned (since school is busy) in a city where we know no one, his graduate school pursuit would be delayed for a year, and he wouldn't have a job for a while.

I'm pretty confident this will work for us and I'm really excited!!

MBA, whats your bf going to grad school for? If he did end up in Chicago there are a lot of great schools and tons of post MBA careers for you so you could definitely stay there long term. Plus I have heard that Kellogg is extremely supportive of significant others, most people say that their SO had much more fun while they were in school since they got to enjoy the social aspects of it without the added work.

He's doing an MSIS at USF. I know they're supportive of JVs at Kellogg, but I think this plan works out for the best. It took me a while to get used to but I think we've both embraced it. He'll be at DAK and he's planning on going on KWEST. However, Chicago isn't a long-term plan for us. All signs point back to the SF Bay Area.

And the fact that you probably will get into Haas and stay in the Bay Area anyways, problem solved

But yeah, 2 years isn't a great amount of time to do long-distance relationship, especially if someone is your spouse/partner/SO already and your relationship is strong. Especially these days, with technology being so advanced (like mba2010's webcam example) and flights are easy to get that 2 years will go by very easily!

As for the "integrity" issue that squali83 brought up, I think many of us "adults" revert back into college students when back in "school" again. It's definitely a completely different atmosphere than the professional workplace, and all of a sudden you get the freedom like you had back in college to do whatever you want (to a certain degree, if you're not busy interviewing for banking/consulting jobs). Some people can still control themselves, others kinda "let go".

Then again, other than the married/coupled folks, I don't really see too big of a problem for singles to hook up here and there. Maybe I just have a more European viewpoint than most Americans...

I think I'm dumping Haas. I don't want to take Calculus and Econ like I promised them I would. But I'll still go to Super Saturday. I think I'm 90% Kellogg / 10% Haas at this point. Just in case I HATE DAK. Which I doubt since I've liked everyone I've met through Kellogg. Gotta diversify my experience.

Aww... sorry to hear that you're dumping Haas!

But yeah, going to Kellogg will only help increase your network. I hope I have the chance to make that choice come Feb/March time frame. Of course, currently I'm 90% Haas/10% Kellogg, ASSUMING I get in both.

See you at Super Saturday.

ndhlp (that's my SO as christened by rhyme) and I spent 3 months apart when school first started. At first, I thought it would be really awful, but it was better for me than for him. You're so wretched busy, and so immersed in all the newness, that you really don't have time to pine. I do have to say, though, that after my horrible first term (car accident, step-mom and cat with cancer, etc) I almost cried when he finally got here. I totally needed someone to take of things -- I couldn't even do laundry with my stupid wrist in a cast.

As for the one you leave behind, it was rough on ndhlp. we'd sold our house in ithaca, so he was staying with friends. He was finishing up his benchwork, and really just wanted to be done. so he was stuck in the same old town, without a home, and doing stuff that he was tired of. He's the world's least needy person, so it's been fine since he's been here. He's working on finding a job and finishing his dissertation. Making me breakfast, too.

Completley different for me, i think i`m the only one here with a child. By the time school starts I`ll have 2 kids
The school partners and kids clubs are therefore, essential for me because more than likely i will be relocating to a place where we have no previous contacts (exc. Manchester and HK where i have family). However, we were in a similar position when we relocated to Tokyo, so moving to a new country is not an issue for us.

Wow,
It is funny how far this thread has drifted from the initial post. (esp. given the ambiguity of the orig. title) I have a child and this has been a key area of research for me. Some places seem to do quite a bit for families.

Wish I were in this position. For now, I am working on how best I can write a touching letter that will melt the hearts of CMU adcom into getting me of the WL.

Alright, reviving this thread again for current admits' benefit, and for the hilarity of the posts...

can't even remember what the original topic is about.. it's all confused

Subject: Final Decision on your offer for the MBA Class of 2010

Admissions Office

Although I have given careful consideration to your offer for the MBA class of 2010, I am unable to accept it. The number schools which offered me a place was many times greater than that I can attend. It is unavoidable that I must disappoint many fine schools.

It was extremely difficult to make this decision, and I sincerely hope that my inability to accept your offer will not discourage you from seeking other candidates to achieve your goals. I wish you all the best at your future endeavors, and if you wish to re-offer me a place in the future term, please offer me with a full ride and some more incentives.

Sincerely,

Kwam
*****************************************************

Now for the second topic of the thread, my wife has always supported me in this MBA quest. When we started dating I told her that I wanted to study, so it was no news. With the international job opportunity my company gave me, we decided to get married and live together this new life. However; she is at a position quite easy for changes as she works by herself. I still think though that no matter how much she supports me I need to make things right for her also, and that's why when I started the school selection, we crossed out many country-side kind of schools.

It's always the trade-off, but as river stated, I'm sure that we will hang out with some other couples a little bit more than with singles (usually partying harder), but as we're Brazilians we have no trouble with integration