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Please rate my first attempt at my GMAT essay! 1 week to go!

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Intern
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Please rate my first attempt at my GMAT essay! 1 week to go!  [#permalink]

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New post 30 Dec 2013, 12:06
First attempt ;P. The real exam is in less than a week!!

The following appeared in a memorandum from the head of a human resources department at a major automobile manufacturing company to the company's managers:

“Studies have found that employees of not-for-profit organizations and charities are often more highly motivated than employees of for-profit corporations to perform well at work when their performance is not being monitored or evaluated. Interviews with employees of not-for-profit organizations suggest that the reason for their greater motivation is the belief that their work helps to improve society. Because they believe in the importance of their work, they have personal reasons to perform well, even when no financial reward is present. Thus, if our corporation began donating a significant portion of its profits to humanitarian causes, our employees’ motivation and productivity would increase substantially and our overall profits would increase as well.”

Discuss how well reasoned . . .etc.

Charities and not-for-profit organizations often have employees with a higher productivity level than employees of for-profit corporations. Based on this information, the author of the argument above makes an argument that his or her corporation should donate significant amounts of profits to humanitarian efforts, to increase the productivity of employees. States in this way, the argument reveals examples of leap of faith and poor reasoning. Although it presents an interesting point, it is a weak argument, and has several flaws.
First, the argument jumps to the conclusion that employees of their corporation will begin to act more like employees of a not for profit company if more money is donated to charity. If our corporation donates a significant portion of its profits to humanitarian causes, that doesn’t make it a nonprofit; it just makes it more giving than it was before. Although employees would indirectly be improving society, this differs from a nonprofit where employees are directly improving society. Therefore, the premise that the conclusion is based on would not apply in this case; such a conclusion should be based on a premise applying to for profit corporations. A better study to examine would be one comparing the productivity of employees in comparison to amount donated by the company. An even better study would be a controlled experiment, where the productivity of employee would be measured over time as charitable donations by the company are increased. Such an experiment would reveal that a higher donation by the company results in greater employee productivity, and a quantification of the productivity and profits gained would be useful in the determination of the decision to donate to humanitarian causes.
In addition, one of the premises behind the argument, which states that the reason behind this increased motivation is the knowledge that the work performed in the nonprofit benefits society, is based on interviews with employees. Even though the employees interviewed may support the premise, a well reasoned argument cannot rely on information obtained from interviews. Interviews are a great way to obtain the views of a few individual workers, but is not the most effective method for a larger sample size, which is necessary to make a formative conclusion. The researchers also did no interviews to employees of for-profit companies; it is very possible that those employees would report a similar stance in an interview setting as well. Instead, studies which relied on anonymous surveys comparing the views of not for profit and for profit companies would be a much more reliable source of information to base such a premise on.
Lastly, the conclusion is also based on the premise that employees are more motivated to work harder, but says nothing about their actual productivity. Just because employees report that they are working harder does not mean that they are actually working harder. A better way to quantify this would be to measure the productivity of the employees while not telling employees that their productivity is being monitored.
As demonstrated above, the argument is clearly flawed and is lacking in several areas. However, many other studies could be used to bolster the argument stated. Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated, and is open to debate.
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Re: Please rate my first attempt at my GMAT essay! 1 week to go!  [#permalink]

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New post 07 Jan 2019, 20:33
this is the best reasoning and alternative studies that I ever see.
GMAT Club Bot
Re: Please rate my first attempt at my GMAT essay! 1 week to go!   [#permalink] 07 Jan 2019, 20:33
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Please rate my first attempt at my GMAT essay! 1 week to go!

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