AWA Score: 5 - 5.5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good Luckraahulthakur
Question:
A lot has been written around the notion that workers are dissatisfied with the working conditions in our manufacturing facilities. The rumor is based on the protests by the labor union workers in the last three months. Those writing passionately on the issue may want to know that a paltry 20% of the workers have participated in these protests. Further, in our internal survey, an overwhelming 70% of the participating workers gave positive feedback for the working conditions. Last year, the management spent more money on improving the working conditions than what it did collectively in the three preceding years. Clearly, the notion is uncalled for and there is no significant scope for improvement in the working conditions in our manufacturing facilities.
Response:
The argument claims that there is no scope for improvement in the working conditions in his manufacturing facilities. Stated in this way the argument is flawed, unconvincing, and fails to mention several key factors that could be used to evaluate the argument.
First, the argument readily assumes that 20% of the workers who are protesting are not representative of the entire workers. Moreover, the author assumes that the management spent on improving the working conditions was not because the working conditions were poor. Furthermore, the author does not clarify the outcome of the money spent by the management on the working conditions. In addition, the internal surveys are reliable and represent what workers actually feel.
Second, the argument claims that the working conditions cannot be further improved. This is a very weak and unconvincing claim. For example, the author considers that 70% of workers who gave positive feedback are actually satisfied with the working conditions and that there is no other such reason as incentives to give positive feedback to the surveys. Moreover, the author does not indicate any reliability of the survey as well; it could also happen that all the internal surveys do not indicate the reality.
Third, the argument could be strengthened if the author clearly states that 20% of workers are not representing other workers. In addition, 70% of the workers are satisfied with the working conditions and feel that there could not be any more significant improvement possible. Also, the argument could be really strengthened if the author mentions current working conditions as compared with the industry's standard working conditions.
Finally, the author fails to answer such questions as What was the outcome of the money spent by the management? What were the working conditions before management spent money to improve them? Whether the interval surveys are a true representation of how workers feel about the working conditions?
In summary, the argument is flawed, uncorroborated, and unconvincing. It could be strengthened if the author provides answers to all of the above questions. Without the above answers, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
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Just started with my AWA practice, it'll be helpful if I get any feedback on whether I am on the right tack and how it can be improved. Thank you.