Can someone please rate my essay please?
[#permalink]
24 Aug 2018, 02:51
Thank you so much in advance!!! This is my first try.
“People who use the artificial sweetener aspartame are better off consuming sugar, since aspartame can actually contribute to weight gain rather than weight loss. For example, high levels of aspartame have been shown to trigger a craving for food by depleting the brain of a chemical that registers satiety, or the sense of being full. Furthermore, studies suggest that sugars, if consumed after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise, actually enhance the body’s ability to burn fat. Consequently, those who drink aspartame-sweetened juices after exercise will also lose this calorie-burning benefit. Thus, it appears that people consuming aspartame rather than sugar are unlikely to achieve their dietary goals.”
The argument states that people are better off consuming sugar instead of aspartame, an artificial sweetener, due to sugar’s advantages in weight loss. However, this argument is flawed because the author of the statement makes unfounded assumptions to make his claim and draws conclusions that are only unilaterally considered.
First, the author wrongly assumes that the primary goal of consuming aspartame (or sugar as a matter of fact) is the weight loss. However, there might be reasons other than weight loss that factor into people’s decision to use the artificial sweetener. For example, people simply might prefer the flavor of the artificial sweetener over that of sugar; people might find the artificial sweetener generally more affordable than sugar, hence leading them to make a cost-conscious decision; some people might be allergic to sugar, therefore choosing to consume a similar alternative. The author of the argument makes his claim that people are better off consuming sugar than aspartame failed to evaluate people’s consumption choice other than from the weight loss perspective. Therefore, his argument is flawed and cannot be taken seriously.
Second, the author fails to consider that there might be reasons other than sugar/ artificial sweetener consumption that affect weight gain or loss. The observation that high levels of aspartame trigger a craving for food by depleting the brain of a chemical for satiety is valid on a face value; however, making a generalized statement that it is indeed aspartame that leads to weight gain simplifies very complex modern day health issues of obesity and weight gain to an extreme degree. There are several factors contributing to one’s weight gain – from thyroid problems to genetics to simple lack of good exercise and movement. Thus, the author’s claim does not convince me that people are better of consuming sugar to avoid weight gain.
Third, the author wrongly equates the fat-burning aspect of sugar drinks to the conclusion that aspartame drinks will have no such effect. Just because sugar drinks have a calorie burning benefit does not mean that other types of drinks will have the calorie gaining effect (or lose the calorie-burning benefit, as the argument says). To assess this properly to paint a fuller and more accurate picture, the author should include facts and observations from people who actually have consumed drinks with aspartame and the calorie changes post-exercise or scientific reasoning behind ingredients with aspartame that would produce the intended results.
The author’s claims about negative effects of aspartame compared to sugar are not all bogus. However, his argument is flawed as he fails to consider other reasons behind the aspartame consumption and other contributing factors to weight loss and gain as well as makes an unsupported generalization about non-sugar drinks inability to burn calories.