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Updated on: 29 May 2008, 23:10
Originally posted by AlinderPatel on 28 May 2008, 00:14.
Last edited by AlinderPatel on 29 May 2008, 23:10, edited 2 times in total.
Last edited by AlinderPatel on 29 May 2008, 23:10, edited 2 times in total.
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Hey guys among all of the other areas that I need to worry about, I havent even looked at the AWA section and I take my GMAT in a couple of days. So I figured that some of you geniuses that have killed this section, or are stellar essay writers can take a look at my first attempts for the argument and issue essays that I took under timed conditions for a MGMAT CAT I took a couple of days ago.
If someone can take a look and give some honest constructive cristiscm on what they think my score would be regarding these essays and what I should do, not do, or try to improve on, I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks in advance!!
Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a print advertisement for a dietary supplement:
“According to a recent study, professional bodybuilders who used Train & Gain, a new protein supplement, over the course of three months experienced an increase in measured strength of up to 20%. Since Train & Gain is now available without prescription at all major pharmacies, superior results are no longer limited to professional athletes. Try Train & Gain today and you too can boost your strength and achieve professional-level performance in just a few months.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
YOUR RESPONSE:
According to the author's argument, he states that by using Train and Gain, a protein supplement that has shown muscular strength gains of up to 20% over a three month period, can now be used on the average population with similar results. His reasoning is flawed on various degrees and the underlying assumptions made for this argument are invalid.
First, looking at this argument holistically, he states in the beginning that the population that has experienced this 20% increase in strength is of the professional bodybuilders group. He then goes on to claim that anyone else who uses this protein supplement too can experience such gains. This is a grandiose leap in logic. He does not provide any evidence on how the average person (a person who might not ever have had any experience in any type of excercise program), can achieve the same results as a professional body builder (a person whose job is to body build - and has deep knowledge in this subject area). If the author had provided some facts on how the average person could succeed as a bodybuilder can then his claim could be supported.
Secondly, the author makes an assumption that now, since Train and Gain are more readily available without a prescription, that these superior results can be achieved. He is assuming that since this product was unavailable without a prescription, individuals could not have access to it by other means. In addition, the assumption goes furthur to say that only professional athletes were able to obtain a prescription, why can't the average person obtain a prescription as well? The author needs to provide some sound evidence on why the product being offered now without a prescription will help everyone to achieve superior results.
Lastly, the most illogical claim made by the author is that this product alone will increase strength and performance within a couple of months. No matter what type of supplements are on the market, none of them have the magical powers to help increase strength and performance without the aid of a strict workout regiment. A protein supplement is only as good in developing strength as is the workout and diet of the individual using it. All factors must be in accordance, before the true results of a protein supplement can be seen. Here once again, the author's assumption is not grounded in any facts. If he would have incorporated exercise training guidelines and dietary recommendations he would then have a more solid argument.
To conclude, this argument is completely flawed. The author makes some incredible stretches in logic with ungrounded assumptions. From tying the product's effectiveness to two different populations to the product's effectiveness as a stand alone regiment, the author's argument is clearly flawed. If support was provided for such claims, then the argument could have been a more solid one.
Analyze Issue
ESSAY QUESTION:
An author once wrote that “The invention of the telephone prevents us from appreciating the distance between us.” Today this is even more true as the rise of the Internet has enabled inexpensive global communication.
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the position stated above. Support your viewpoint using reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
The author states that "the invention of the telephone prevents us from appreciating the distance between us." Now with the advent of the internet, this too has lead to inexpensive global communication which also prevents us from appreciating the distance between us. I profoundly disagree with the author, as I believe that the invention of the telephone and the rise of the internet actually help us to appreciate the distance between us even moreso as will be discussed in subsequent paragraphs.
First, "appreciating the distance between us" is very subjective phrasing. I perceive it as totally different from the way the author has described it. With new tools for global communication being invented almost rapidly, I believe this harbors more of a feeling of appreciating the distance between individuals. For instance, I now can have VoiP (voice over IP - talk on the phone through the internet cheaply) with family members in India, in which before I could never have done. Previously this would have cost almost 5X as much to connect with them plus the phone call quality was horrible in comparison to VoIP calls. Making access to family members half way around the world more cheaper and efficient has actually made me appreciate the distance between us even more. I yearn for these connections, since I know they are so far away, in which for me triggers the opposite result a true appreciation for the distance between us.
Secondly, this can also be evident with Instant Messaging (IM) conversations that I have with friends from the East Coast of the US from the West Coast of the US. When a person was once a written letter, or phone call away, now is an Instant Message away makes the communication gap much more efficient. Once again this has a profound effect in that I realize how distant these individuals are, however it truly make me realize how much I appreciate that I am able to connect with them eventhough the distance might be so vast.
Lastly, this has also revolutionized the business realm as well. With the advent of a multitude of collaboration tools: email, eFax, IM, Live Meetings, Web Conferences, etc, businesses are able to more rapidly communicate with associates from all over the globe in a matter of seconds. Here the author might argue that, this makes us not appreciate the distance between us. I would beg to differ, these types of communication actually help us appreciate the distance between us in various ways. In the corporate sense this could relate to higher profitability or the passing of vital information for decision making purposes that once took days or weeks to communicate. This helps businesses to truly appreciate the distance between us by using tools that help close that distance gap.
To conclude, the author provides his viewpoint on that the telephone and internet services have now made individuals not appreciate the distance between them. As I have stated above, I firmly believe that the opposite is true, that with the advent of such innovative communication tools, the distance gap has been closed thus making us appreciate even moreso what it takes to communicate through such lengths and mediums.
If someone can take a look and give some honest constructive cristiscm on what they think my score would be regarding these essays and what I should do, not do, or try to improve on, I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks in advance!!
Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a print advertisement for a dietary supplement:
“According to a recent study, professional bodybuilders who used Train & Gain, a new protein supplement, over the course of three months experienced an increase in measured strength of up to 20%. Since Train & Gain is now available without prescription at all major pharmacies, superior results are no longer limited to professional athletes. Try Train & Gain today and you too can boost your strength and achieve professional-level performance in just a few months.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
YOUR RESPONSE:
According to the author's argument, he states that by using Train and Gain, a protein supplement that has shown muscular strength gains of up to 20% over a three month period, can now be used on the average population with similar results. His reasoning is flawed on various degrees and the underlying assumptions made for this argument are invalid.
First, looking at this argument holistically, he states in the beginning that the population that has experienced this 20% increase in strength is of the professional bodybuilders group. He then goes on to claim that anyone else who uses this protein supplement too can experience such gains. This is a grandiose leap in logic. He does not provide any evidence on how the average person (a person who might not ever have had any experience in any type of excercise program), can achieve the same results as a professional body builder (a person whose job is to body build - and has deep knowledge in this subject area). If the author had provided some facts on how the average person could succeed as a bodybuilder can then his claim could be supported.
Secondly, the author makes an assumption that now, since Train and Gain are more readily available without a prescription, that these superior results can be achieved. He is assuming that since this product was unavailable without a prescription, individuals could not have access to it by other means. In addition, the assumption goes furthur to say that only professional athletes were able to obtain a prescription, why can't the average person obtain a prescription as well? The author needs to provide some sound evidence on why the product being offered now without a prescription will help everyone to achieve superior results.
Lastly, the most illogical claim made by the author is that this product alone will increase strength and performance within a couple of months. No matter what type of supplements are on the market, none of them have the magical powers to help increase strength and performance without the aid of a strict workout regiment. A protein supplement is only as good in developing strength as is the workout and diet of the individual using it. All factors must be in accordance, before the true results of a protein supplement can be seen. Here once again, the author's assumption is not grounded in any facts. If he would have incorporated exercise training guidelines and dietary recommendations he would then have a more solid argument.
To conclude, this argument is completely flawed. The author makes some incredible stretches in logic with ungrounded assumptions. From tying the product's effectiveness to two different populations to the product's effectiveness as a stand alone regiment, the author's argument is clearly flawed. If support was provided for such claims, then the argument could have been a more solid one.
Analyze Issue
ESSAY QUESTION:
An author once wrote that “The invention of the telephone prevents us from appreciating the distance between us.” Today this is even more true as the rise of the Internet has enabled inexpensive global communication.
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the position stated above. Support your viewpoint using reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
The author states that "the invention of the telephone prevents us from appreciating the distance between us." Now with the advent of the internet, this too has lead to inexpensive global communication which also prevents us from appreciating the distance between us. I profoundly disagree with the author, as I believe that the invention of the telephone and the rise of the internet actually help us to appreciate the distance between us even moreso as will be discussed in subsequent paragraphs.
First, "appreciating the distance between us" is very subjective phrasing. I perceive it as totally different from the way the author has described it. With new tools for global communication being invented almost rapidly, I believe this harbors more of a feeling of appreciating the distance between individuals. For instance, I now can have VoiP (voice over IP - talk on the phone through the internet cheaply) with family members in India, in which before I could never have done. Previously this would have cost almost 5X as much to connect with them plus the phone call quality was horrible in comparison to VoIP calls. Making access to family members half way around the world more cheaper and efficient has actually made me appreciate the distance between us even more. I yearn for these connections, since I know they are so far away, in which for me triggers the opposite result a true appreciation for the distance between us.
Secondly, this can also be evident with Instant Messaging (IM) conversations that I have with friends from the East Coast of the US from the West Coast of the US. When a person was once a written letter, or phone call away, now is an Instant Message away makes the communication gap much more efficient. Once again this has a profound effect in that I realize how distant these individuals are, however it truly make me realize how much I appreciate that I am able to connect with them eventhough the distance might be so vast.
Lastly, this has also revolutionized the business realm as well. With the advent of a multitude of collaboration tools: email, eFax, IM, Live Meetings, Web Conferences, etc, businesses are able to more rapidly communicate with associates from all over the globe in a matter of seconds. Here the author might argue that, this makes us not appreciate the distance between us. I would beg to differ, these types of communication actually help us appreciate the distance between us in various ways. In the corporate sense this could relate to higher profitability or the passing of vital information for decision making purposes that once took days or weeks to communicate. This helps businesses to truly appreciate the distance between us by using tools that help close that distance gap.
To conclude, the author provides his viewpoint on that the telephone and internet services have now made individuals not appreciate the distance between them. As I have stated above, I firmly believe that the opposite is true, that with the advent of such innovative communication tools, the distance gap has been closed thus making us appreciate even moreso what it takes to communicate through such lengths and mediums.
28 May 2008, 13:27
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watch out to make sure you don't sound to opinionated on the analysis of the argument. Give "specific" examples on how the author could strengthen the argument.
I'd say 5.5 on this round 5 on the argument 6 for the other. I'd guess that if you write with this structure you can expect nothing less than a 5 and you are well on your way to the 89% of a 6.0!
I'd say 5.5 on this round 5 on the argument 6 for the other. I'd guess that if you write with this structure you can expect nothing less than a 5 and you are well on your way to the 89% of a 6.0!
28 May 2008, 14:18
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To be a little tough, I'd say 5 on each one.
You have the volume and the structure nailed but you are not using enough structural words (For example, therefore, hence, clearly, etc). The e-rater looks for those. Also, some of your sentences (intro to the argument) are a little overcomplicated and may be confusing.
The human rater would probably not give a 6.0 because, yes, you sound too opinionated. Phrases like "profoundly disagree" and "completely flawed" should be avoided.
You have the volume and the structure nailed but you are not using enough structural words (For example, therefore, hence, clearly, etc). The e-rater looks for those. Also, some of your sentences (intro to the argument) are a little overcomplicated and may be confusing.
The human rater would probably not give a 6.0 because, yes, you sound too opinionated. Phrases like "profoundly disagree" and "completely flawed" should be avoided.
