In order to earn the most money for supplemental school programs, we

Can someone evaluate mine? Thanks in advance!

In this argument, the school plans to earn the most money from supplemental school programs by having larger and more thrilling rides at this year's School Fair. The basis of this recommendation is that the school will be able to charge a higher entrance fee and earn a higher commission from the vendors, by letting the game vendors award more expensive prizes and the food stalls showcase a variety of upscale international dishes. At first glance, this plan appears to be somewhat convincing, but further scrutiny reveals that it omits some important concerns that should be addressed to make the plan succeed.

Most conspicuously, the argument unfairly assumes that more expensive prizes and upscale international dishes will attract more guests. However, while game prizes and food dishes might be attractive for some guests, there are many other factors that are important for guests to evaluate when considering a visit to the park, such as the safety level of the game rides, the sanity level of the park, and so on. Without providing evidence to explain why there will be more guests coming to the park if there are more expensive game prizes and more upscale food dishes, this assumption is unconvincing.

Moreover, the argument falsely depends on another assumption that there will not be less guests visiting the park if the school charges a higher entrance fee. While the entrance fee is an important factor in determine the overall revenue of the game park, the number of guests visiting the park is also crucial. What if there are less guests visiting the park because of the raise of the entrance fee? Hence, without illustrating why the number of guests will not be less when the entrance fee is higher, this assumption is unfounded.

Finally, the argument relies on the third assumption that the commission the school receives from the vendors will be higher than it was last year. However, there is no evidence stated that the commission from the vendors will not reduce for this year. If the vendors have a new contract with the school this year and it gives much less commission to the school, then the school might very well receive less commission, even though the overall revenue increases. Hence, this assumption is unwarranted.

To sum up, the school's plan to earn higher commission fee via vendors' revenues by giving more expensive game prizes, serving more upscale food dishes and charging higher entrance fee is seriously undermined by the numerous flaws in the reasoning identified above. If these reasoning are taken into account, the argument will be more thorough and convincing.