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anonymousCentaur
Current Student
Joined: 09 Jan 2020
Last visit: 23 Mar 2022
Posts: 50
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Given Kudos: 135
Location: India
Schools: Duke Fuqua (A)
GMAT 1: 730 Q50 V38
GPA: 3.48
WE:Programming (Computer Software)
16 Mar 2020, 07:01
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Hey guys, GMAT on 26th and I started with AWA preparation. Gonna write 1 or 2 essays per day.
I wrote the first one today. Can someone please review it (maybe score it?) and give me suggestions?
Essay Question:
The following appeared in a corporate memorandum of a beverage manufacturer:
“Our promotional price reductions on energy drinks have been highly successful, as we have seen a dramatic increase in unit sales. Further, surveys of our consumers indicate that this promotion was favorably received by the majority of our customers. Therefore, to improve our company’s profitability and enhance its perception in the eyes of consumers, similar price reductions should be offered on all drinks produced by our firm.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
Your Response:
The argument claims that the price reductions that the beverage manufacturer offered have been successful and well received. Further, the manufacturer also goes on to say that she will implement such reductions in all the drinks produced by the firm. I find this argument extremely hollow as it is based on weak assumptions, ignores the possibility of selection bias in the survey group and confuses revenue increase with profitability.
First, the argument asserts that the increase in unit sales is a direct result of the promotional price reductions and hence, the firm's price reduction scheme has been successful. This is very botched argument because it assumes that the increase in unit sales is not the result of any other event such as another set of advertisements, shutting down of a competitor firm, or something as temporary as a sport congregation in the same area as a distribution outlet. There is no evidence of anything else that was put into place by the firm and hence, it is not possible to comment on the success of the scheme, that is if the success of the scheme was defined by the increase in sales and not increase in profit.
Second, the argument confuses increase in revenue with profitability and further goes on to claim that such a step will also work on other drinks produced by the firm. It is possible that the firm is just breaking even or maybe even incurring a loss with the increase in sales (and hence, revenue). However, we have no information about the costs to the company both the production costs and promotional costs and hence the claim of profitability falls flat. It will be helpful if we can get more details about the cost that the company incurred so that we can strengthen the claim about the profitability. Furthermore, even if we assume that the firm has been profitable, there is no guarantee that previous success will result in future success - in this case we cannot comment on the profitability of other drinks produced by the firm.
Finally, the argument also uses the survey to claim that the consumers are happy. It might be true; however, we do not have any information about the consumer demographics. Moreover, it is possible that not all customers have filled the survey: it might be the case that only the customers who care about the firm or like the energy drink manufactured by the firm care enough to fill out the survey forms. Therefore, with such strong assumptions about the people who filled out the survey, this arguments also fails to hold out.
In conclusion, this argument makes a lot of assumptions and confuses a lot of terms. It does not have enough evidence to hold its ground even against the slightest scrutiny. If there were further evidence about the claims, as mentioned above, then the argument can be strengthened.
I wrote the first one today. Can someone please review it (maybe score it?) and give me suggestions?
Essay Question:
The following appeared in a corporate memorandum of a beverage manufacturer:
“Our promotional price reductions on energy drinks have been highly successful, as we have seen a dramatic increase in unit sales. Further, surveys of our consumers indicate that this promotion was favorably received by the majority of our customers. Therefore, to improve our company’s profitability and enhance its perception in the eyes of consumers, similar price reductions should be offered on all drinks produced by our firm.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
Your Response:
The argument claims that the price reductions that the beverage manufacturer offered have been successful and well received. Further, the manufacturer also goes on to say that she will implement such reductions in all the drinks produced by the firm. I find this argument extremely hollow as it is based on weak assumptions, ignores the possibility of selection bias in the survey group and confuses revenue increase with profitability.
First, the argument asserts that the increase in unit sales is a direct result of the promotional price reductions and hence, the firm's price reduction scheme has been successful. This is very botched argument because it assumes that the increase in unit sales is not the result of any other event such as another set of advertisements, shutting down of a competitor firm, or something as temporary as a sport congregation in the same area as a distribution outlet. There is no evidence of anything else that was put into place by the firm and hence, it is not possible to comment on the success of the scheme, that is if the success of the scheme was defined by the increase in sales and not increase in profit.
Second, the argument confuses increase in revenue with profitability and further goes on to claim that such a step will also work on other drinks produced by the firm. It is possible that the firm is just breaking even or maybe even incurring a loss with the increase in sales (and hence, revenue). However, we have no information about the costs to the company both the production costs and promotional costs and hence the claim of profitability falls flat. It will be helpful if we can get more details about the cost that the company incurred so that we can strengthen the claim about the profitability. Furthermore, even if we assume that the firm has been profitable, there is no guarantee that previous success will result in future success - in this case we cannot comment on the profitability of other drinks produced by the firm.
Finally, the argument also uses the survey to claim that the consumers are happy. It might be true; however, we do not have any information about the consumer demographics. Moreover, it is possible that not all customers have filled the survey: it might be the case that only the customers who care about the firm or like the energy drink manufactured by the firm care enough to fill out the survey forms. Therefore, with such strong assumptions about the people who filled out the survey, this arguments also fails to hold out.
In conclusion, this argument makes a lot of assumptions and confuses a lot of terms. It does not have enough evidence to hold its ground even against the slightest scrutiny. If there were further evidence about the claims, as mentioned above, then the argument can be strengthened.
16 Mar 2020, 19:57
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monilSoni - I personally like the overall length and structure, but the more I look into it in detail, the more problems I find in terms of grammar and style issues. You need to focus on modifiers and pronouns. One way to eliminate these minor errors is to proofread your writing for a good 2 to 3 minutes in the end. Also, you need to eliminate redundancy and a few style issues to make your writing confirm to standard business English. All that said, I can say that this essay will fetch you a score of 4.5-5 on the real-GMAT. With fine-tuning your weak areas, you could achieve a perfect 6. All the best.
17 Mar 2020, 04:34
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Moni
PFA a review of your first essay; wish you all the best in the impending Test.
daagh
PFA a review of your first essay; wish you all the best in the impending Test.
daagh
