OFFICIAL EXPLANATIONProject SC Butler: Sentence Correction (SC1)
THE PROMPTQuote:
Some critics have deemed the musician’s new composition confusing because of its unusual structure, and its melodious final movement makes it elegant.
• Overview
Music critics have deemed the composition two things: on the one hand, it is confusing. On the other hand, it is melodious.
The placement and descriptions of
confusing and
elegant should be parallel.
This sentence contains
contrast.
Accordingly, I have used the phrases "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," above.
The contrast is inherent in the descriptive words: the composition is both
confusing (which is
not a great thing) and
elegant (which
is a great thing).
We need a contrast word.
THE OPTIONS (inserted into the sentence)
Quote:
A) Some critics have deemed the musician’s new composition confusing because of its unusual structure, and (ELEGANT BECAUSE OF) its melodious final movement makes it elegant.
• not parallel
→ the word
elegant should be placed right after the comma, so that
confusing and
elegant are parallel
Correct: Critics have deemed the composition
confusing . . ., and
elegant . . .
→ as the option stands, "deemed the composition confusing" and "its melodious final movement makes it elegant" are not parallel.
deemed → "confusing"
and
deemed→ "its melodious final movement makes it elegant" are not parallel.
(I have slightly rewritten the second part of the sentence to show you what is missing or misplaced.)
• lacks a proper contrast word
→ these two characteristics are in conflict. We should not conjoin them with the word "and," which does not convey contrast.
→ we need a contrast word such as
yet or
whileELIMINATE A
Quote:
B) Some critics have deemed the musician’s new composition confusing because of its unusual structure, although elegant by having its final movement be melodious.
• not parallel
→
confusing because of XYZ and
elegant by having its final movement be ABC are not parallel.
Parallel items do not need to be phrased identically, but "because" and "by having" do not play the same logical function in the sentence.
--
Because gives a reason.
By having gives a means.
-- One explains why and one explains how, but logically, why and how don't hang together in this sentence.
If this part does not make sense to you, do not worry.
This option contains other errors.
• part of the phrasing is awkward, strange, and nonsensical
→
elegant by having its final movement be melodious is bizarre.
The composition does not intentionally do anything. This option suggests that the composition intentionally achieves a means to an end "by having its final movement be melodious."
(In this instance, an inanimate object is given too much agency.)
•
although is a subordinating conjunction that typically anchors and is followed by a subordinate
clause—i.e., a subject and a verb.
→ There
are exceptions to the guideline that
although should be followed by a clause with a subject and a verb.
If the omitted subject and verb are obvious, on occasion
although is used without a clause.
But in this case,
although is trying to act like a regular (coordinating) conjunction.
--
Although is not meant to do that sort of work in a sentence. Watch:
Correct: Chicago was cold but sunny.Correct: Chicago was cold yet sunny.Suspect/Wrong: Chicago was cold although sunny.ELIMINATE B
Quote:
C) Some critics have deemed the musician’s new composition confusing because of its unusual structure, and it is elegant with its melodious final movement.
• not parallel
→ as is the case in option A, the word
elegant, which is parallel to
confusing, should show up right after the comma so that parallelism is maintained.
→ the second part of the sentence (
it is elegant with its melodious final movement) is not parallel to the first part of the sentence.
Our sentence means:
The critics deemed the composition X yet Y.The
confusing phrase (X) is the object of the verb
deemed.
The "it is elegant with" phrase is not the object of the verb
deemed but should be so. (No Y element in proper construction exists.)
• lacks a proper contrast word
→ these two characteristics are in conflict. We should not conjoin them with the word "and," which does not convey contrast.
→ we need a contrast word such as
yet or
whileELIMINATE C
Quote:
D) Some critics have deemed the musician’s new composition confusing because of its unusual structure while having a melodious final movement that makes it elegant.
• not parallel
→ we are looking for some phrasing along the lines of "deemed confusing .... yet elegant..."
→
having a melodious final movement that makes it elegant is not parallel to
confusing because of its unusual structure.
Do not let the two ___ING words bamboozle you.
...
deemed confusing is in active voice: verb + object
...
having a melodious ABC that makes it elegant is in passive voice: adjective phrase,
not, as it should be, the object of the verb
deemed ELIMINATE D
Quote:
E) Some critics have deemed the musician’s new composition confusing because of its unusual structure yet elegant because of its melodious final movement.
• I do not see any errors.
•
confusing and
elegant are parallel (a Big Hint arrives with the words "because of" after each word)
• the contrasting connector
yet properly highlights the contrast between the two characteristics of the composition.
KEEP
The best answer is E.
COMMENTS Well, this group is a very nice cross section of Butler participants!
(As always: aspirants, you have a standing invitation to post. Posting is good practice.)
These answers interest me because they approach the question from quite varied angles.
I don't think that there is a problem with the pronouns
its and
it.
They all refer to the composition, although I can understand how you might believe that one or both were a problem.
These answers range from good to excellent.
Nicely done.