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Status:Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. It's a dare. Impossible is nothing.
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Re: Could you please rate this essay.. [#permalink]
Hey rk21857 This essay 4.5/6
Length is good. Pardon me. You have discussed so many examples that its difficult to find a single line of reasoning. Moreover the second para is bang on target with example. Introduce your thinking in the second para and let the reader get some breathing time ;-). From the third paragraph onwards you can proceed with examples, but don't overwhelm the reader. And tell precisely why you are offering the example so that you bolster the claim.

The second to last paragraph - "Unfortunately, some people think that studying....."
This is incomplete. You still hold your point because....... Its not enough to merely state the facts. But argue why you defend your reasoning in the midst of the other contenders.

"I strongly believe" - this is a cliche. Since you have written it you are the editor and you own this essay. So please dont use "I believe", "I therefore believe", "I". For example you can say -
For the reasons stated, studying history is an important part of understanding today's challenges.

Originally posted by gmat1220 on 24 Feb 2011, 19:45.
Last edited by gmat1220 on 24 Feb 2011, 20:06, edited 1 time in total.
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Senior Manager
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Joined: 03 Feb 2011
Status:Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. It's a dare. Impossible is nothing.
Affiliations: University of Chicago Booth School of Business
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Re: Could you please rate this essay.. [#permalink]
I agree with miguelmick. Sorry mate you were just seconds ahead of me - I didnt know you were also part of this LOL
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Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Posts: 131
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Concentration: Real Estate, Finance
Schools: MIT (Sloan) - Class of 2014
GMAT 1: 760 Q50 V44
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Re: Could you please rate this essay.. [#permalink]
LOL! I am just starting, you are the professional!

gmat1220 wrote:
I agree with miguelmick. Sorry mate you were just seconds ahead of me - I didnt know you were also part of this LOL
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Re: Could you please rate this essay.. [#permalink]
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