AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good Luckbellsprout25 wrote:
Hi! Can I please get graded?
“People who use the artificial sweetener aspartame are better off consuming sugar, since aspartame can actually contribute to weight gain rather than weight loss. For example, high levels of aspartame have been shown to trigger a craving for food by depleting the brain of a chemical that registers satiety, or the sense of being full. Furthermore, studies suggest that sugars, if consumed after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise, actually enhance the body’s ability to burn fat. Consequently, those who drink aspartame-sweetened juices after exercise will also lose this calorie-burning benefit. Thus it appears that people consuming aspartame rather than sugar are unlikely to achieve their dietary goals.”
The argument suggests that people who use the artificial sweetener aspartame are better off consuming sugar instead of aspartame. The argument reasons that sugar is better than aspartame because high levels of aspartame have been shown to trigger a craving for food and because consumer sugar after exercise is shown to enhance the body’s ability to burn fat. Although these reasonings may appear sound on the surface, this argument is actually weak and unconvincing. Stated this way, this argument fails to consider several key factors, demonstrates leap of faith reasoning, and relies on poor, unsubstantiated assumptions.
First, the argument fails to consider several key factors as to why people might prefer to consume aspartame over sugar. It assumes that everyone who consumes aspartame are using it to achieve their dietary goals, namely for weightloss. However, there might be many people who use aspartame over sugar because they like the taste or cannot physically consume sugar due to diseases such as diabetes. This argument completely disregards those people and misrepresents the overall population with a sweeping statement.
Secondly, although this argument’s reasoning that high levels of aspartame have been shown to trigger food cravings may be true, the extent of applicability of this research to this argument may be a stretch. The argument does not show how much people are consuming aspartame as compared with what “high levels” of consumption entails. On the flip side, the argument does not consider that perhaps there are people who consume aspartame to indeed, increase their appetite for food. Again, the argument fails to consider many key factors and relies on a weak assumption that all people consuming aspartame are doing so for the same reason, weight loss. This argument would be greatly improved if the author does take the time to perhaps make its assumptions more clear or narrow the scope of its argument to consider only the people that it is targeting. This would make the argument stronger and more clear.
Finally, the argument needs to address several questions: Why might some people prefer aspartame over sugar? Are there other motivations for using aspartame over sugar besides weight loss? And what kind of dietary goals are people who consume aspartame motivated by? In order to clearly analyze an argument, we must take into consideration all the contributing factors. In this case, this argument needs to more clearly define the subsection of the population that it is targeting and clarify its assumptions about people’s dietary and weight loss goals. Without clear and logically reasoned answers to this question, this argument is clearly just a leap of faith and does not employ a logical inference.
In conclusion, this argument is weak and unconvincing for the above mentioned reasons. The argument could absolutely be improved if it does address the questions laid out above and make its assumptions and premises more clear and specific to the conclusion it is drawing. Without understanding all the information and contributing factors to better understand this argument, one is left with the impression that this argument is clearly wishful thinking and is not a well reasoned argument.