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The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks

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GmatEnemy
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The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks [#permalink] New post   20 Dec 2008, 12:20
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The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group.


A.The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group.

B. Whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or acting in the defense of the group, the mice may be encouraged by the maternal copy of Nesp55 to take more risks on behalf of the group.

C. The maternal copy of Nesp55 encourages mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or the defense of the group.

D. Whether looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group, the maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group when doing such activities.

E. The mice may be encouraged by the maternal copy of Nesp55 to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or acting in the defense of the group.
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Re: The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks [#permalink] New post   21 Dec 2008, 15:39
GmatEnemy wrote:
The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group.

a.The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group.
b. Whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or acting in the defense of the group, the mice may be encouraged by the maternal copy of Nesp55 to take more risks on behalf of the group.
c.The maternal copy of Nesp55 encourages mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or the defense of the group.
d.Whether looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group, the maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group when doing such activities.
e.The mice may be encouraged by the maternal copy of Nesp55 to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or acting in the defense of the group.


What is the OA & OE?

C and E are out for the lack of parallelism

B & D start the sentence with whether. passive voice in B and Modifier issue in D leave thew way for A
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Re: The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks [#permalink] New post   25 Dec 2008, 03:50
OE


The original is correct and clear, and the parallel structure of “looking. . .finding. . .defending” is concise.

(A) CORRECT.

(B) This choice has an awkward and wordy construction. “Acting in the defense of the group” is wordier than “defending the group” without making the meaning clearer. It also makes the choice less parallel: “looking. . .finding. . .acting in the defense.” Furthermore, the passive construction “may be encouraged by,” is unnecessarily wordy. Finally, the ending phrase "on behalf of the group" is unnecessary.

(C) This choice changes the meaning. “Encourages” implies a certainty that “may encourage” does not. Also, "looking. . .finding. . .the defense" is less parallel than “looking. . .finding. . .defending.”

(D) This choice is wordy and lacks clarity. Beginning with the long dependent clause "whether looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group,..." detracts from the clarity. Also, the ending phrase “when doing such activities” is wordy and unnecessary.

(E) This choice uses the wordier passive construction “may be encouraged” instead of the active construction "may encourage." This choice uses the less concise “acting in the defense of the group” instead of “defending the group.” This change also makes the choice less parallel: “looking. . .finding. . .acting in the defense.”
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Re: The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks [#permalink] New post   25 Dec 2008, 03:53
Quote:
C and E are out for the lack of parallelism

B & D start the sentence with whether
.

Is it wrong to start the sentences with Whether . pls explain.
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Re: The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks [#permalink] New post   09 Jan 2009, 11:34
GmatEnemy wrote:
The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group.

a.The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group.
b. Whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or acting in the defense of the group, the mice may be encouraged by the maternal copy of Nesp55 to take more risks on behalf of the group.
c.The maternal copy of Nesp55 encourages mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or the defense of the group.
d.Whether looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group, the maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group when doing such activities.
e.The mice may be encouraged by the maternal copy of Nesp55 to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or acting in the defense of the group.


Hi GmatEnemy,
It is not sacrosanct that sentences should not start with whether but here, the choices starting with it have other flaws:

B : Wordy : acting in the defense of the group.
D : Wordy : When doing such activities.. Correct choice A says the same things without using anything unnecessarily.
E :Same Wordy.
C : ||'ism.

A is the right Ans.
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Re: The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks [#permalink] New post   10 Jan 2009, 20:23
A is appropriate. My only concern was what about the latter part of the sentence which says whether that risk ...........
would it be more appropriate to have whether those risks given that the former half of the sentence is saying more risks.
A still stays as the correct answer.
Amit05 wrote:
GmatEnemy wrote:
The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group.

a.The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group.
b. Whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or acting in the defense of the group, the mice may be encouraged by the maternal copy of Nesp55 to take more risks on behalf of the group.
c.The maternal copy of Nesp55 encourages mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or the defense of the group.
d.Whether looking for food, finding a nest, or defending the group, the maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group when doing such activities.
e.The mice may be encouraged by the maternal copy of Nesp55 to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food, finding a nest, or acting in the defense of the group.


Hi GmatEnemy,
It is not sacrosanct that sentences should not start with whether but here, the choices starting with it have other flaws:

B : Wordy : acting in the defense of the group.
D : Wordy : When doing such activities.. Correct choice A says the same things without using anything unnecessarily.
E :Same Wordy.
C : ||'ism.

A is the right Ans.
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Re: The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks [#permalink] New post   11 Jan 2009, 08:26
I also had the same concern....however in the given options A is appropriate....I don't think it follows all english gramer rules.
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Re: The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks [#permalink] New post   26 May 2009, 04:08
Doesn't answers A, B, C and E have parallelism problems? risks vs. risk.

From answer A:
...encourage the mice to take more risks on behalf of the group, whether that risk involves looking for food....
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Re: The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks [#permalink] New post   13 Oct 2010, 17:01
Answer is A as discussed above.

I have one question.

Suppose the answer choice A had one grammatical issue and the choice had none.

Can we change the meaning from may encourage to encourages?

Abstract question : Can we change the intended meaning of the A if it contains a small grammatical error?
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Re: The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks [#permalink] New post   13 Aug 2023, 10:37
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Re: The maternal copy of Nesp55 may encourage the mice to take more risks [#permalink]
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