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02 May 2022, 00:01
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"Over the past decade, the beauty and personal care industry in the country of Xialto has experienced unprecedented
growth. This growth can be attributed to recent socioeconomic changes: growing personal incomes, more leisure time,
youth forming a greater proportion of the total population, and rapid urbanization. As a prominent FMCG company in
neighboring country, we must venture into opening a chain of premium beauty salons in Xialto."
The argument claims that company under consideration must venture into opening a chain of premium beauty salons in Xialto because of unprecedented growth of beauty and personal care industry. Stated in this way, argument fails to mention several key factors on the basis of which it can be evaluated. The argument is based on various unwarranted assumptions for which there are no clear evidences. Thus, argument is rather weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument assumes that growth of beauty and personal care industry in Xialto crates opportunity for the company under consideration. However, it did not mention what were the reasons for the growth and whether the growth was stable or it was because of any specific reason . If the growth is because of any special event then this growth can only be momentary and entering new market in this situation can be very dangerous as there is a chance of capital loss..
Second, the argument assumes that as company is successful in neighboring country, company will also be successful in Xialto. However, each and every country has different market, cultural expectations, demands and needs, The strategy and business model that worked in neighboring country may not work in Xilato. If this happens, there will be a considerable loss of time and money.
Finally, the argument concludes that company under consideration must venture into opening a chain of premium beauty salons in Xialto. Why not personal care products ? Why not combination of both ? The argument did not mention any reason for opening a chain of only premium beauty salons when whole premise is about beauty and personal care industry. The argument would have been considerably strengthened if it had mentioned reasons for venturing in beauty salons and if it had given a satisfactory answer to the above questions.
In summary, the argument has several flaws and therefore is unconvincing. The argument would have been considerably strengthened if it had mentioned how company under consideration will enter the market and why company will be successful in Xialto. Without this information, argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate .
growth. This growth can be attributed to recent socioeconomic changes: growing personal incomes, more leisure time,
youth forming a greater proportion of the total population, and rapid urbanization. As a prominent FMCG company in
neighboring country, we must venture into opening a chain of premium beauty salons in Xialto."
The argument claims that company under consideration must venture into opening a chain of premium beauty salons in Xialto because of unprecedented growth of beauty and personal care industry. Stated in this way, argument fails to mention several key factors on the basis of which it can be evaluated. The argument is based on various unwarranted assumptions for which there are no clear evidences. Thus, argument is rather weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument assumes that growth of beauty and personal care industry in Xialto crates opportunity for the company under consideration. However, it did not mention what were the reasons for the growth and whether the growth was stable or it was because of any specific reason . If the growth is because of any special event then this growth can only be momentary and entering new market in this situation can be very dangerous as there is a chance of capital loss..
Second, the argument assumes that as company is successful in neighboring country, company will also be successful in Xialto. However, each and every country has different market, cultural expectations, demands and needs, The strategy and business model that worked in neighboring country may not work in Xilato. If this happens, there will be a considerable loss of time and money.
Finally, the argument concludes that company under consideration must venture into opening a chain of premium beauty salons in Xialto. Why not personal care products ? Why not combination of both ? The argument did not mention any reason for opening a chain of only premium beauty salons when whole premise is about beauty and personal care industry. The argument would have been considerably strengthened if it had mentioned reasons for venturing in beauty salons and if it had given a satisfactory answer to the above questions.
In summary, the argument has several flaws and therefore is unconvincing. The argument would have been considerably strengthened if it had mentioned how company under consideration will enter the market and why company will be successful in Xialto. Without this information, argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate .
02 May 2022, 08:03
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AWA Score: 5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 3.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 3.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
PS: For your upcoming posts, please follow AWA forum rules, or else your post might be deleted. Follow the link below to read the rules.
https://gmatclub.com/forum/awa-forum-ru ... 64141.html
Good Luck
Ravin25
"Over the past decade, the beauty and personal care industry in the country of Xialto has experienced unprecedented
growth. This growth can be attributed to recent socioeconomic changes: growing personal incomes, more leisure time,
youth forming a greater proportion of the total population, and rapid urbanization. As a prominent FMCG company in
neighboring country, we must venture into opening a chain of premium beauty salons in Xialto."
The argument claims that company under consideration must venture into opening a chain of premium beauty salons in Xialto because of unprecedented growth of beauty and personal care industry. Stated in this way, argument fails to mention several key factors on the basis of which it can be evaluated. The argument is based on various unwarranted assumptions for which there are no clear evidences. Thus, argument is rather weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument assumes that growth of beauty and personal care industry in Xialto crates opportunity for the company under consideration. However, it did not mention what were the reasons for the growth and whether the growth was stable or it was because of any specific reason . If the growth is because of any special event then this growth can only be momentary and entering new market in this situation can be very dangerous as there is a chance of capital loss..
Second, the argument assumes that as company is successful in neighboring country, company will also be successful in Xialto. However, each and every country has different market, cultural expectations, demands and needs, The strategy and business model that worked in neighboring country may not work in Xilato. If this happens, there will be a considerable loss of time and money.
Finally, the argument concludes that company under consideration must venture into opening a chain of premium beauty salons in Xialto. Why not personal care products ? Why not combination of both ? The argument did not mention any reason for opening a chain of only premium beauty salons when whole premise is about beauty and personal care industry. The argument would have been considerably strengthened if it had mentioned reasons for venturing in beauty salons and if it had given a satisfactory answer to the above questions.
In summary, the argument has several flaws and therefore is unconvincing. The argument would have been considerably strengthened if it had mentioned how company under consideration will enter the market and why company will be successful in Xialto. Without this information, argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate .
growth. This growth can be attributed to recent socioeconomic changes: growing personal incomes, more leisure time,
youth forming a greater proportion of the total population, and rapid urbanization. As a prominent FMCG company in
neighboring country, we must venture into opening a chain of premium beauty salons in Xialto."
The argument claims that company under consideration must venture into opening a chain of premium beauty salons in Xialto because of unprecedented growth of beauty and personal care industry. Stated in this way, argument fails to mention several key factors on the basis of which it can be evaluated. The argument is based on various unwarranted assumptions for which there are no clear evidences. Thus, argument is rather weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument assumes that growth of beauty and personal care industry in Xialto crates opportunity for the company under consideration. However, it did not mention what were the reasons for the growth and whether the growth was stable or it was because of any specific reason . If the growth is because of any special event then this growth can only be momentary and entering new market in this situation can be very dangerous as there is a chance of capital loss..
Second, the argument assumes that as company is successful in neighboring country, company will also be successful in Xialto. However, each and every country has different market, cultural expectations, demands and needs, The strategy and business model that worked in neighboring country may not work in Xilato. If this happens, there will be a considerable loss of time and money.
Finally, the argument concludes that company under consideration must venture into opening a chain of premium beauty salons in Xialto. Why not personal care products ? Why not combination of both ? The argument did not mention any reason for opening a chain of only premium beauty salons when whole premise is about beauty and personal care industry. The argument would have been considerably strengthened if it had mentioned reasons for venturing in beauty salons and if it had given a satisfactory answer to the above questions.
In summary, the argument has several flaws and therefore is unconvincing. The argument would have been considerably strengthened if it had mentioned how company under consideration will enter the market and why company will be successful in Xialto. Without this information, argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate .
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