Intern
Joined: 18 May 2014
Posts: 42
Given Kudos: 6
Location: United States
Concentration: General Management, Other
GMAT Date: 07-31-2014
GPA: 3.99
WE:Analyst (Consulting)
Re: please help me make it better.
[#permalink]
06 Sep 2014, 01:53
The author says that the "Space Race" of the 1960's between the USA and Russian was very expensive but it yielded a tremendous number of technological advances. These advances have provided many economic and humanitarian benefits. The benefits have more than paid for the effort and money spent during the Space Race. The author uses the above argument to support his narrative that therefore the government should make allowances within the budget to pay for a manner Mars landing by 2020. The author has tried to make the point, however, I find the argument to consist of several flaws in the justification provided.
In rationalizing that the Space Race yielded a number of technological advances, which have provided many economic and humanitarian benefits, the author fails to bring out these benefits explicitly. Without knowing what these benefits are, the argument fails to deliver the convincing touch. Some of the points such as what these benefits are, who were benefited - only the scientific community or the human race in large, how long it took the aforementioned benefits to reach the common man, if the benefits did reach and so on.
The other major flaw that I find is the generalization that the author does. The author picks out a time in the past and assumes that what worked then should also work now. This might not be true. For example, the government might already be in a huge debt now and is not in a position for any other expenditure. The author also assumes that the agencies such as NASA have manpower available to put into the Mars landing mission.
The author also assumes that all the necessary infrastructure deliverable can be done by 2020. Here the author is trying to fix a deadline without saying what kind of time table one can see when talking of the space race.
Lastly, the author says that the benefits have more than paid for the effort and money spent during the Space Race without mentioning what kind of money or effort was involved in the mission.
The above argument can be strengthened had the author provided certain additional details such as:
1. What are the benefits?
2. Is it doable?
3. The government and the concerned agencies have the required resources available.
4. What costs are involved?