maheshasbs wrote:
READING PASSAGE
The lecture points out number of problems of medication to cure the depression; whereas reading passage contradicts by saying, medication is the best way to cure depression.
The professor says that, factors for causing depression; such as negative experiences in one's life like death of spouse or any other situations that disrupt, may disrupt human mood. Therefore, professor says experiences are main causes for depression. Nevertheless, reading passage contradicts by saying chemical imbalance in human being is the main cause depression, which can severely effect human mood.
Additionally, the professor posits many clinical trials shown that medication is short relive or artificial procedure to take off the depression for time being from human. In addition, after medication is completed, again depression starts, so it is not ignore depression for a short while. However, it is much contradicted in reading passage by saying, medication is the best method to solve the depression.
Third, the lecture says, therapy will cure depression from root level and will not have any side effects like effect in sleep, appetite etc. In addition, medication is reacts differently for different people, so it is not good idea to suggest medication than therapy. However, in reading passage states, medication will not affect our daily routine life, because medication can used only once /twice daily by just taking pills.
In conclusion, the passage suggests medication is the best way to cure depression, where lecture counterstatements therapy is the best way to get rid of depression in human mood.
I will point out the draw backs in your essay first; they I will point out the weaknesses. I am not a native english speaker either, but I did manage to score 117/120 in toefl and here are my points:
1. Your essay
lacks a good introduction. In TOEFL integrated task, you have to "summarize the points in the lecture and explain how they relate to the reading passage". To do that, start with an introduction where you summarize the reading passage in 4-5 sentences. Then, in the body, make one para separately for each contradiction made in the lecture (which you did). When you conclude, summarize the whole thing. Remember not to express your own personal opinion and don't use external examples.
2. Few grammatical mistakes which can be avoided like "The professor says that, factors for causing depression; such as negative experiences in one's life like death of spouse or any other situations that disrupt, may disrupt human mood. "- Try to spend 1-2minutes at the end to check your writing to avoid these.
3. Try to make all the paragraphs of the same size, usually 3-4 sentences large. Your
first and last para are very small.4. In the body, you only mentioned the
professor's points first then the reading passage. Do it the other way. Passage first, then the professor.
Strengths-
1. English comes to you naturally, unlike many many other test takers.
2. Vocabulary is good.
3. Grammar is pretty good.
You just need to work on the structuring of the tast a little bit more. Then, you will be good to go.