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Re: Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily [#permalink]
Expert Reply
AWA Score: 5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 4/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!


Good Luck

deepika257 wrote:
Please evaluate my writing as well.

The following appeared as part of a promotional campaign to sell advertising space in the Daily Gazette to grocery
stores in the Marston area:
“Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will help you increase your sales.
Consider the results of a study conducted last month. Thirty sale items from a store in downtown Marston were
advertised in The Gazette for four days. Each time one or more of the 30 items was purchased, clerks asked whether
the shopper had read the ad. Two-thirds of the 200 shoppers asked answered in the affirmative. Furthermore, more
than half the customers who answered in the affirmative spent over $100 at the store.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc


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MY RESPONSE
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According to campaign, advertising sale items in Daily Gazette will increase the sales of grocery stores in the Marston area. And, this argument is supported by the results of a study conducted last month. According to the study, after a store in downtown Marston advertised 30 sale items in Daily Gazette for 4 days, two-thirds of 200 shoppers, who bought atleast one of the 30 sale items, had read the ad. And, apart from buying sale items more than half of people who read the ad spent over $100 at the store. However, the information provided in incomplete and hence, the conclusion provided in the campaign is problematic in various respects.

Firstly, the study results do not mention that the shoppers decided to buy the sale items after reading the ad or not. Results say that shoppers read the ad but knowing if that ad made them visit the store and buy the product is crucial to evaluate the benefit of advertisement. Secondly, there is no information provided on the number of regular shoppers buying sale items and total spending of such shoppers at the store before the advertisement. This information is necessary to compare the sales before and after the advertisement was published. It is possible that at a regular basis, these shoppers prefer to buy sale items any way. In that case, advertisement did not have its intended benefit for the store. Finally, campaign does not provide the cost of advertising space at all which will actually help the store owners to decide whether they want to go for an advertising drive or not. Also, the distribution statistics of Daily Gazette is an important fact to include in such campaigns.

In conclusion, the campaign missed some of the crucial information that would help store owners to clearly analyze the benefits of advertising in Daily Gazette. Facts like the distribution statics of Daily Gazette, price of its advertising space, more details about the sales at the store before and after the advertisement etc. would make the campaign more convincing. Also, including questions like did the buyers make the decision to visit store based on the ad will make a stronger evidence.
GMAT Club Bot
Re: Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily [#permalink]
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