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23 Nov 2020, 11:23
Kudos
Bookmarks
Please review my essay and give a score
The following appeared in a memorandum from the information technology department of a major advertising firm:
“The more efficient a firm’s employees are, the more profitable that firm will be. Improvements in a firm’s information technology hardware and software are a proven way to increase the efficiency of employees who do the majority of their work on computers. Therefore, if our firm invests in the most powerful and advanced information technology available, employee productivity will be maximized. This strategy ensures that every dollar spent on enhanced information technology will help to increase our firm’s profit margins.
Discuss how well reasoned . . .etc.
In the argument, author claims that the firm can enhance the number of efficient employees who work on computers by improving their information technology. The conclusion cited, if the firm invest more amount for their advance IT system then they can rise the productivity level which can leads the firm to gain more profit. However, this argument is flawed because it fails to supply sufficient support in favor of the author’s conclusion.
First of all, the argument readily assumes that the number of employees who work on computer could be more efficient while the firm improve their IT hardware and software. But this assumption is questionable because they did not mention anything about the other employees who work without computer. As we know, any firms/ companies have many different departments where a number of employees work on these are equally impactful for the organization. Such as, a manufacturing-based IT firm that manufacture hardware rather than software, they need more efficient employees who work mostly without computers. Hence, the firm should not underestimate those employees who work without computer otherwise they can face huge losses on future.
Secondly, the argument also implies that the firm can increase productivity by investing more on the Advance IT system which is a partial statement. Because, there are so many other factors which are actually can ensure more productivity form employees. For example, if a company gives more salary and better work environment for their manage then they can surely get more efficiency and productivity from that manager. Therefore, it is not a good decision to spend more amount only in one sector of the firm without knowing the actual need of the employees because it never can help to improve profit margin.
In light of the above unsubstantiated assumptions and poor evidence, the argument is flawed. It could be considerably strengthened, if the author mentions the efficiency level of other employees who work without computer. Also, there have no evidence that the efficiency level of the employees only depends on the advance IT system and they have overlooked the other factors of productivity enhancement. Nevertheless, if the aforementioned concerns are not addressed it will remain unconvincing.
The following appeared in a memorandum from the information technology department of a major advertising firm:
“The more efficient a firm’s employees are, the more profitable that firm will be. Improvements in a firm’s information technology hardware and software are a proven way to increase the efficiency of employees who do the majority of their work on computers. Therefore, if our firm invests in the most powerful and advanced information technology available, employee productivity will be maximized. This strategy ensures that every dollar spent on enhanced information technology will help to increase our firm’s profit margins.
Discuss how well reasoned . . .etc.
In the argument, author claims that the firm can enhance the number of efficient employees who work on computers by improving their information technology. The conclusion cited, if the firm invest more amount for their advance IT system then they can rise the productivity level which can leads the firm to gain more profit. However, this argument is flawed because it fails to supply sufficient support in favor of the author’s conclusion.
First of all, the argument readily assumes that the number of employees who work on computer could be more efficient while the firm improve their IT hardware and software. But this assumption is questionable because they did not mention anything about the other employees who work without computer. As we know, any firms/ companies have many different departments where a number of employees work on these are equally impactful for the organization. Such as, a manufacturing-based IT firm that manufacture hardware rather than software, they need more efficient employees who work mostly without computers. Hence, the firm should not underestimate those employees who work without computer otherwise they can face huge losses on future.
Secondly, the argument also implies that the firm can increase productivity by investing more on the Advance IT system which is a partial statement. Because, there are so many other factors which are actually can ensure more productivity form employees. For example, if a company gives more salary and better work environment for their manage then they can surely get more efficiency and productivity from that manager. Therefore, it is not a good decision to spend more amount only in one sector of the firm without knowing the actual need of the employees because it never can help to improve profit margin.
In light of the above unsubstantiated assumptions and poor evidence, the argument is flawed. It could be considerably strengthened, if the author mentions the efficiency level of other employees who work without computer. Also, there have no evidence that the efficiency level of the employees only depends on the advance IT system and they have overlooked the other factors of productivity enhancement. Nevertheless, if the aforementioned concerns are not addressed it will remain unconvincing.
27 Nov 2020, 09:17
Kudos
Bookmarks
Hi sumaiyabss
Let us dissect the argument first.
Premise 1: The more efficient a firm’s employees are, the more profitable that firm will be.
Premise 2: Improvements in a firm’s information technology hardware and software are a proven way to increase the efficiency of employees who do the majority of their work on computers.
Conclusion: Therefore, if our firm invests in the most powerful and advanced information technology available, employee productivity will be maximized.
Supporting premise: This strategy ensures that every dollar spent on enhanced information technology will help to increase our firm’s profit margins.
Employees' efficiency -> More profitability
Improvement in IT HW/SW -> Increase in efficiency of employees working on computers
Investment in IT -> Improvement in IT HW/SW -> Maximised employee productivity -> Increased profit margins
It is assumed that
Efficiency = Productivity
Profitability = Profit margins
Profits = Revenues - Expenses
Profit margin = Profits / Revenues
Investment in IT is an expense
It is also assumed that
Increase in efficiency / productivity -> More profitability / profit margins
Flaw in reasoning:
Since there are no numbers to support premise 1, very high expenses of investment in IT HW/SW may not increase overall profitability/ profit margins of the firm.
In a firm in which majority of the employees do not work on computers, this expense may be a waste of money.
However, if we assume that premise 1 is true and increase in productivity of employees working on computers actually increases profitability / profit margins of the firm and the impact is more on revenues than impact of expenses of investment in IT has on costs of the company, then reasoning is OK.
There should the following elements in a good AWA: -
1. What are the assumptions in the arguments?
2. What additional information can strengthen the argument? - You have not covered this part.
3. What additional information can weaken the argument? e.g. majority of employees don't work on computers and don't need computers/ IT.
4. What is the flaw in reasoning? e.g There are no numbers to support premises. Expenses may be very high compared to increase in revenues / profits.
I think you should revise your AWA in such a way that you remain neutral in your stance and provide both pros and cons.
I may give the AWA 4/6.
Let us dissect the argument first.
Premise 1: The more efficient a firm’s employees are, the more profitable that firm will be.
Premise 2: Improvements in a firm’s information technology hardware and software are a proven way to increase the efficiency of employees who do the majority of their work on computers.
Conclusion: Therefore, if our firm invests in the most powerful and advanced information technology available, employee productivity will be maximized.
Supporting premise: This strategy ensures that every dollar spent on enhanced information technology will help to increase our firm’s profit margins.
Employees' efficiency -> More profitability
Improvement in IT HW/SW -> Increase in efficiency of employees working on computers
Investment in IT -> Improvement in IT HW/SW -> Maximised employee productivity -> Increased profit margins
It is assumed that
Efficiency = Productivity
Profitability = Profit margins
Profits = Revenues - Expenses
Profit margin = Profits / Revenues
Investment in IT is an expense
It is also assumed that
Increase in efficiency / productivity -> More profitability / profit margins
Flaw in reasoning:
Since there are no numbers to support premise 1, very high expenses of investment in IT HW/SW may not increase overall profitability/ profit margins of the firm.
In a firm in which majority of the employees do not work on computers, this expense may be a waste of money.
However, if we assume that premise 1 is true and increase in productivity of employees working on computers actually increases profitability / profit margins of the firm and the impact is more on revenues than impact of expenses of investment in IT has on costs of the company, then reasoning is OK.
There should the following elements in a good AWA: -
1. What are the assumptions in the arguments?
2. What additional information can strengthen the argument? - You have not covered this part.
3. What additional information can weaken the argument? e.g. majority of employees don't work on computers and don't need computers/ IT.
4. What is the flaw in reasoning? e.g There are no numbers to support premises. Expenses may be very high compared to increase in revenues / profits.
I think you should revise your AWA in such a way that you remain neutral in your stance and provide both pros and cons.
I may give the AWA 4/6.
sumaiyabss
Moderator:
