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sheungcheng
Joined: 10 Feb 2022
Last visit: 10 Mar 2024
Posts: 7
Own Kudos:
Given Kudos: 1
Location: Hong Kong
Schools: INSEAD Aug'23 intake (A)
GPA: 3.44
05 Apr 2022, 02:55
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“The average price of an acre of land in the United States is now 50 times what it was in 1970, and nearly 200 times what it was in 1920. The nation’s population is projected to keep increasing, even as the amount of land remains constant. Therefore, people who are approaching retirement should invest heavily in real estate in order to ensure their financial security.”
The author asserts that people who are close to retirement should invest in real restate because it can offer financial security. The argument not only doesn't address what define financial security, but also omits sufficient evidences and supports to validate his claim.
First, author mentions that that real estate offers financial security. The word "financial security" is relatively vague and doesn't tell readers precisely what it means to be financial secured. Perhaps it can mean stable return or no losing money. The author simply doesn't provide a clear definition. Assuming that author interrupts financial security as investment with stable return, the claim is still not very solid as while the housing price tends to go up according to historical pattern, there are some times in history that there was not the cause. For instance, in 2007, the United States encountered the financial crisis, which housing price dropped significantly as people couldn't afford their mortgages and returned their house back to the bank. This can be an evidence that housing price doesn't always go up; hence, investing in real estate has a possibility to lose money as well.
Second, the author neglects to consider other investments in the market that can offer financial security. For people that are close to retirement, it is very likely that they tend to look for investment that is less volatile and less risky. Investments such as government and corporate bonds could be a good fit for them. While author talks about real estates, it doesn't explain why it is good for financial security and how it compared to other investments in the market.
Third, investing heavily in one specific product is risky. In general, it is better to buy different asset classes and diversify the portfolio. The author simply doesn't address this point.
In summary, given the issues mentioned above, the author's argument is not sound and convincing. If he can address the mentioned flaws and provide more proofs to back up his point, the claim will be a much stronger one.
The author asserts that people who are close to retirement should invest in real restate because it can offer financial security. The argument not only doesn't address what define financial security, but also omits sufficient evidences and supports to validate his claim.
First, author mentions that that real estate offers financial security. The word "financial security" is relatively vague and doesn't tell readers precisely what it means to be financial secured. Perhaps it can mean stable return or no losing money. The author simply doesn't provide a clear definition. Assuming that author interrupts financial security as investment with stable return, the claim is still not very solid as while the housing price tends to go up according to historical pattern, there are some times in history that there was not the cause. For instance, in 2007, the United States encountered the financial crisis, which housing price dropped significantly as people couldn't afford their mortgages and returned their house back to the bank. This can be an evidence that housing price doesn't always go up; hence, investing in real estate has a possibility to lose money as well.
Second, the author neglects to consider other investments in the market that can offer financial security. For people that are close to retirement, it is very likely that they tend to look for investment that is less volatile and less risky. Investments such as government and corporate bonds could be a good fit for them. While author talks about real estates, it doesn't explain why it is good for financial security and how it compared to other investments in the market.
Third, investing heavily in one specific product is risky. In general, it is better to buy different asset classes and diversify the portfolio. The author simply doesn't address this point.
In summary, given the issues mentioned above, the author's argument is not sound and convincing. If he can address the mentioned flaws and provide more proofs to back up his point, the claim will be a much stronger one.
05 Apr 2022, 05:03
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AWA Score: 5 - 5.5 out of 6
I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good Luck
sheungcheng
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