Have a laugh while studying or working!!
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12 May 2010, 03:23
I wanted to share with you a couple of funny jokes that I just got.
Enjoy!!
1. "A man who owes his banker $100,000 can't sleep at night. But when a man owes his banker $1 million, it's the banker who can't sleep."
2. "Both concepts--democracy and the efficient market hypothesis (EMH*)--are empty. They only tell us that the mob gets what it wants--in the near term. Longer term, the mob gets what it has coming.
"Real capitalists are not mob investors. They do not buy stock in the public market based on public information. They buy companies. And they buy them only when they understand what the companies do and how their investment will pay off.
"If you want to make money, you must reject the lunkheadedness of the masses. You should invest like an insider, on the basis of private information--even if it comes from public sources--and direct,
personal experience (though not necessarily your own)."
*EMH: the market is always correct, always knows all there is to know about a stock; whatever price the market sets, is the right one.
3. The judge asked the prostitute, "So, When did you realize you had been raped?"
Wiping away her tears, she replied, "When the check bounced!"
4. "I've reviewed your case very carefully and have decided to give your ex-wife $300 a week," a judge declared.
"That's more than fair," the man said. "I'll even try to kick in a little of my own money."
5. A man was fleeing down the hall of a hospital just before his operation.
"What's the matter?" his wife asked.
"I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation. Don't worry. I'm sure it will be all right,'" he said.
"She was just trying to comfort you," his wife said. "What's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me," he answered. "She was talking to the doctor."
6. A blonde called a travel agent and asked, "How long is a flight from New York to San Francisco?"
"Just a minute," said the agent.
The blonde said thank you and hung up.