Events & Promotions
|
|
GMAT Club Daily Prep
Thank you for using the timer - this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.
Customized
for You
Track
Your Progress
Practice
Pays
Not interested in getting valuable practice questions and articles delivered to your email? No problem, unsubscribe here.
Sep 2807:00 PM EDT
-10:00 PM EDT
Boost your GMAT score in less than one month in a live online class + 6 months access to TTP OnDemand video courses included! Class starts Mon, Tues, Wed, Thur, Fri Sept. 28, 2026 - Oct. 16, 2027, 7:00pm-10:00pm EST
Sep 2911:00 AM EDT
-01:00 PM EDT
" Description: Top scores are possible when you enroll in a powerful GMAT course, taught live online + 6 months access to TTP OnDemand video courses included! Class starts Tues/Thur Sept. 29, 2026 - Dec. 3, 2026, 11:00am-1:00pm EST
Oct 0107:00 AM BST
-08:00 AM GMT
Welcome to the GMAT Club's Free Interview Prep Event for Top MBA Programs! Buy tickets - Virtual series that’s all set to equip you to -excel in your MBA interviews.
Oct 0301:00 PM EDT
-04:00 PM EDT
Top scores are possible when you enroll in a powerful GMAT course, taught live online + 6 months access to TTP OnDemand video courses included! Class starts Saturdays Oct. 3, 2026 - Dec. 26, 2026, 1:00pm-4:00pm EST
04 Jul 2010, 10:26
Kudos
Bookmarks
Please give your feedback
Attachments
Issue.jpg [ 142.29 KiB | Viewed 3392 times ]
04 Jul 2010, 10:29
Kudos
Bookmarks
This is my first attempt on a mock writing my AWA. Please give in your valuable feedback. Thanks.
05 Jul 2010, 13:07
Kudos
Bookmarks
I'm no expert at this, but my impression is that your paragraphs are too short. You need to beef up the introduction and conclusion paragraphs by summarizing the points you are going to (and have) discussed. Also the points you raise in your paragraph are good, but again I feel like the paragraphs need to be longer. I'm not sure how I could do a better job though, it's a hard topic!
Also, your fourth paragraph talks about two topics in one. Maybe the last point about serving your parents came to you as you were writing the essay so you added it in. I wouldn't do that..either don't mention the point or put it into a separate paragraph with its own examples.
Also, your fourth paragraph talks about two topics in one. Maybe the last point about serving your parents came to you as you were writing the essay so you added it in. I wouldn't do that..either don't mention the point or put it into a separate paragraph with its own examples.
