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Please rate my essay

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Joined: 31 Aug 2018
Posts: 2
Please rate my essay  [#permalink]

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New post 15 Oct 2019, 14:10

I've recently written an answer to the question prompt below: (note I didn't remove obvious spelling errors which I made while writing the prompt)

If the paper from every morning edition of the nation’s largest newspaper were collected and rendered into paper pulp that the newspaper could reuse, about 5 million trees would be saved each year. This kind of recycling is unnecessary, however, since the newspaper maintains its own forests to ensure an uninterrupted supply of paper

The author's claim to help preserve tress is faulty for many reasons. Although there's concrete data for the possible trees that could be saved annually, the author fails to note credible sources. If the auhtor made this assumption indiviudally or received this data from bad sources there's room for error.

Aside from this the author fails to explore other possibilities for saving trees. Paper is a huge cause of deforestization but it can't be the only one. Excempting companies who own their forests to not be required to be eco-friendly is a huge mistake. If companies realize this they'll start looking to own their own more forests, creating a domino-effect for less trees being available to save.

Although, combining multiple newspapers into a single one is a good idea the author fails to question whether customers would buy this type of paper. Having multiple large comapnies agree with this solution would also be a lengthy process, requiring a lot of market research and meetings with key stakeholders. Testing an MVP (minimum viable product) with a small audience from the newspaper market would also be required to dictacte whether or not to pursue this idea.

Finally, the auhtor assumes that most if not all newspaper companies own their own forests. If this was true, there wouldn't be a need for the initial solution to combine multiple newspapers. The author contradicts himself by offering a solution to preserve more tress and explaning why it's not necessary.

The author seems to be undecided for which stance to take. Most of the assumptions made here are weak and without reliable data. If the author hopes to make a point acrros he'll need a definite stance and more reliable data to back him up.

Thanks in advance!
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Re: Please rate my essay  [#permalink]

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New post 16 Oct 2019, 08:14
Chrisal23 - Not a great AWA attempt honestly. My first issue with your essay is the overall length. At a mere 289 words, the essay seems exceedingly short. I do not see too many grammar issues but the overall length alone will plummner your AWA score to 4 or below. Did you get a chance to review the famous chineseburned AWA template and a few examples?

Refer chineseburned AWA Template: ... 64327.html
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Re: Please rate my essay   [#permalink] 16 Oct 2019, 08:14
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