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Hi everyone,
Could somebody ready my Essay, I'm actually struggling a little bit with these, because I'm no native speaker and never wrote an essay before.
This is the topic:
The common notion that workers are generally apathetic about management issues is false, or at least outdated: a recently published survey indicates that 79 percent of the nearly 1,200 workers who responded to survey questionnaires expressed a high level of interest in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs
And this is my response:
The argument claims that false or at least outdated, the common notion that workers are apathetic about management issues. Hence, a recent survey indicates that 79 percent of the people who responded to the survey expressed a high level of interest in the topic of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs. Stated in his way the argument mentioned facts and conveys a distorted view of the situation. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Therefore, the argument is rather weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument readily assumes that is false that the workers are apathetic to management issues. This statement is a stretch and is not substantiated in any way. They are numerous examples where some workers want to know about management issues inside the company, there is not a common notion about the workers that do not want to know about management issues. The argument would have been much clearer if it explicitly stated the evidence where he explains the common notion about the workers and management issues. Also, it would help the author if he gave examples of how workers are not apathetic about management issues.
Second, the argument claims that a recently published survey indicates that 79 percent of who responded to the survey, expressed a high level of interest in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between the survey and the common notion about the workers. In fact, this survey misleads the real conclusion of the author, treating management issues like a whole topic and then presenting a survey that only talks about corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs. Besides, if the argument provided evidence about all the information asked on the survey and try to develop or explain the relationship about the answers to the survey and management issues.
In summary, the argument is flaws and therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors.
I'm using the template provided by chineseburned.
Also, I'm struggling a little bit with some topics of the AWA because it's hard to find the fallacies and to attack the argument if you have some advice I would appreciate them.
Thanks to anyone that might help me! <3
Could somebody ready my Essay, I'm actually struggling a little bit with these, because I'm no native speaker and never wrote an essay before.
This is the topic:
The common notion that workers are generally apathetic about management issues is false, or at least outdated: a recently published survey indicates that 79 percent of the nearly 1,200 workers who responded to survey questionnaires expressed a high level of interest in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs
And this is my response:
The argument claims that false or at least outdated, the common notion that workers are apathetic about management issues. Hence, a recent survey indicates that 79 percent of the people who responded to the survey expressed a high level of interest in the topic of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs. Stated in his way the argument mentioned facts and conveys a distorted view of the situation. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Therefore, the argument is rather weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument readily assumes that is false that the workers are apathetic to management issues. This statement is a stretch and is not substantiated in any way. They are numerous examples where some workers want to know about management issues inside the company, there is not a common notion about the workers that do not want to know about management issues. The argument would have been much clearer if it explicitly stated the evidence where he explains the common notion about the workers and management issues. Also, it would help the author if he gave examples of how workers are not apathetic about management issues.
Second, the argument claims that a recently published survey indicates that 79 percent of who responded to the survey, expressed a high level of interest in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between the survey and the common notion about the workers. In fact, this survey misleads the real conclusion of the author, treating management issues like a whole topic and then presenting a survey that only talks about corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs. Besides, if the argument provided evidence about all the information asked on the survey and try to develop or explain the relationship about the answers to the survey and management issues.
In summary, the argument is flaws and therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors.
I'm using the template provided by chineseburned.
Also, I'm struggling a little bit with some topics of the AWA because it's hard to find the fallacies and to attack the argument if you have some advice I would appreciate them.
Thanks to anyone that might help me! <3
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