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26 Jun 2021, 08:03
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Would appreciate feedback on the below AWA essay -
Question -
The following appeared in an announcement issued by the publisher of The Mercury, a weekly newspaper –
“Since a competing low-priced newspaper, The Bungle, was started five years ago, The Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers. The best way to get more people to read The Mercury is to reduce its price below that of The Bungle, at least until circulations increase to former levels. The increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper”
Answer -
The announcement uses a weak argumentative standpoint to justify cutting price of a weekly newspaper – The Mercury to compete with another newspaper – The Bungle. The announcement has several fallacies. Firstly, it uses vague terms and numbers. Secondly, it focuses on an incorrect cause and effect relationship. Lastly, it assumes that things do not change over time.
Use of vague terms and confusing numbers fails to reinforce the announcement’s main argument. The announcement states that because of The Bungle’s lower price, the number of readers of The Mercury has decreased by ten thousand, over a period of five years. The announcement does not mention the total number of readers of the newspapers. Furthermore, it does not mention decrease in ten thousand readers constitute to what percentage. For example – a decrease in ten thousand readers over five years out of a total reader base of one million would be more concerning than a decrease of ten thousand readers out of a total reader base of ten million. Use of percentages would have strengthened the claim.
Even if the announcement used percentages to justify its claim, it would still establish a weak argument. This is because, the announcement does not emphasize on the target markets of The Bungle and The Mercury. For example – most readers of The Bungle may be teenagers as this newspaper focuses on fashion, whereas most readers of The Mercury may be middle aged professionals as the newspaper focuses on business topics. In such a case, decreasing the price may not win over readers from The Bungle to The Mercury. If such a case were true, the announcement used an improper cause and effect relationship.
The announcement assumes that things do not change over time. According to it, the decline in readers occurred over a period of five years. Within these five years, many technological changes may have occurred, they may have favoured The Bungle over The Mercury. For example – over the five years, smart phone and computers may have become more accessible to the public. If The Bungle was more technology focused than The Mercury, then it may have reached more readers through computers or smartphones, thus winning over readers from The Mercury. In such a case, price change would not effect the number of readers.
The announcement tries to justify reducing the price of The Mercury to remain more competitive in the market, but because of several fallacies, it fails to create a strong justification.
Question -
The following appeared in an announcement issued by the publisher of The Mercury, a weekly newspaper –
“Since a competing low-priced newspaper, The Bungle, was started five years ago, The Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers. The best way to get more people to read The Mercury is to reduce its price below that of The Bungle, at least until circulations increase to former levels. The increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper”
Answer -
The announcement uses a weak argumentative standpoint to justify cutting price of a weekly newspaper – The Mercury to compete with another newspaper – The Bungle. The announcement has several fallacies. Firstly, it uses vague terms and numbers. Secondly, it focuses on an incorrect cause and effect relationship. Lastly, it assumes that things do not change over time.
Use of vague terms and confusing numbers fails to reinforce the announcement’s main argument. The announcement states that because of The Bungle’s lower price, the number of readers of The Mercury has decreased by ten thousand, over a period of five years. The announcement does not mention the total number of readers of the newspapers. Furthermore, it does not mention decrease in ten thousand readers constitute to what percentage. For example – a decrease in ten thousand readers over five years out of a total reader base of one million would be more concerning than a decrease of ten thousand readers out of a total reader base of ten million. Use of percentages would have strengthened the claim.
Even if the announcement used percentages to justify its claim, it would still establish a weak argument. This is because, the announcement does not emphasize on the target markets of The Bungle and The Mercury. For example – most readers of The Bungle may be teenagers as this newspaper focuses on fashion, whereas most readers of The Mercury may be middle aged professionals as the newspaper focuses on business topics. In such a case, decreasing the price may not win over readers from The Bungle to The Mercury. If such a case were true, the announcement used an improper cause and effect relationship.
The announcement assumes that things do not change over time. According to it, the decline in readers occurred over a period of five years. Within these five years, many technological changes may have occurred, they may have favoured The Bungle over The Mercury. For example – over the five years, smart phone and computers may have become more accessible to the public. If The Bungle was more technology focused than The Mercury, then it may have reached more readers through computers or smartphones, thus winning over readers from The Mercury. In such a case, price change would not effect the number of readers.
The announcement tries to justify reducing the price of The Mercury to remain more competitive in the market, but because of several fallacies, it fails to create a strong justification.
27 Jun 2021, 00:09
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AWA Score: 5 out of 6!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good Luck
arifmd
