That was a funny post, Rhyme, I wonder if it was funnier if you have a background in programming languages.
I think there needs to be a distinction made between PE and VC. While in actuality VC is a subset of PE, the term PE nowadays almost always refers to LBO PE firms. PE hiring is becoming a little more institutionalized than VC ever will be, but it still is quite unlike IB/MC or other traditional career paths.
For VC I think the “network” angle is as important as rhyme says it is, I really don’t know. However, for LBO PE it’s a combination of that plus your previous experience and pedigree that will get you interviews, usually via recruiters. To get jobs in LBO PE you are competing with those who have pre-MBA work experience doing (in order of general competitiveness, according to me):
1) BB IB / Top MC + Mid-Large Cap PE
2) Mid-Large Cap PE
3) BB IB / Top MC
4) Small no name PE / MM IB
5) Small no name IB / Non-Top MC / Big 4 Transaction or Due Diligence
6) Industry / Corp Development / Big 4 Other
7) All other career switchers
Keep in mind that almost all of these people will also have good academic pedigree including: a respected undergrad (high GPA), test scores (SAT + GMAT), and a top MBA. It is possible that pedigree, e.g. HBS MBA, could help you jump a level relative to the above ordering, but the problem is that pedigree is already there in almost all of those groups. The good news is that the smaller and less established the PE firm, the less this ordering applies (not because they would rather take someone from #6 and #7 over #1 and #2, but because there aren’t so many of #1 and #2 to go around.)
While there might seem to be a good amount of PE shops, they are staffed very lean and definitely don’t want to train their junior professionals. In my limited experience, I’ve heard a lot of guys that are in #5 or below and not going to a H/S/W say that they want to do PE and I have to refrain from telling them that they are pretty unlikely to get a job in PE, because I don’t want to be “that guy”. But the reality is that it’s very, very tough. However, networking can be the great equalizer. I would encourage all those from #5 and below to give considerable thought to doing IB first before putting their eggs in the PE basket.