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07 Oct 2023, 23:19
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Hello experts. can someone please evaluate my AWA essay?
Essay Question:
The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:
“The inflow of immigrant workers into our community has put a downward pressure on wages. In fact, the average compensation of unskilled labor in our city has declined by nearly 10% over the past 5 years. Therefore, to protect our local economy, it is essential to impose a moratorium on further immigration.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
Your Response:
The editorial section of the local newspaper states that the inflow of immigrant workers into the city has put a downward pressure on wages. The editorial also observes that this inflow has made the average compensation of unskilled labor in the city decline by nearly 10% in 5 years. Thus, the editorial suggests that imposing a moratorium is the need of the hour in order to protect the local economy. The author clearly fails to see the worker immigration through another perspective and there are clear gaps in his reasoning.
First, the economic activity generated by the immigrants are taken into account. Immigrants come to the city in search of job, and they will definitely rent apartments, dine out or buy groceries to cook at home since food and housing is an essential need for anyone in any city. Since they have a job in the city, they will eat and stay within the city. Thus, these activities will eventually contribute to the local economy in one way or the other. The author has not explored this line of thought and simply correlated the decrease in wages as a danger to the local economy.
Secondly, employers in the city prefer these migrants and therefore the inflow is increasing, and thus average wages declining as stated by the author. All these will eventually lead to more profits for the employers, and they will be looking for new avenues to invest and grow their businesses further. Since the entirety of this positive activity is happening in the city, it will of course help the local economy grow bigger.
Finally, imposing a moratorium on further immigration can prove to be counterproductive if the businesses decide to move out of the city. As we discussed above, businesses love profits, and they will reinvest it back into the economy. However, with a moratorium in place, these employers will then flock to areas with more business-friendly policies and thus this will impact the city in the long run since the existing job market in the city would have also been greatly disturbed.
To conclude, the author has failed to see the immigrant inflow in a more rounded way and has hastily driven unconvincing conclusions based on one data point. If the author wants to make a strong case for imposing a moratorium on further immigration, he/she should give additional evidence that the aforementioned benefits to the local economy are small in comparison to the damage, if any, done to the economy.
Essay Question:
The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:
“The inflow of immigrant workers into our community has put a downward pressure on wages. In fact, the average compensation of unskilled labor in our city has declined by nearly 10% over the past 5 years. Therefore, to protect our local economy, it is essential to impose a moratorium on further immigration.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
Your Response:
The editorial section of the local newspaper states that the inflow of immigrant workers into the city has put a downward pressure on wages. The editorial also observes that this inflow has made the average compensation of unskilled labor in the city decline by nearly 10% in 5 years. Thus, the editorial suggests that imposing a moratorium is the need of the hour in order to protect the local economy. The author clearly fails to see the worker immigration through another perspective and there are clear gaps in his reasoning.
First, the economic activity generated by the immigrants are taken into account. Immigrants come to the city in search of job, and they will definitely rent apartments, dine out or buy groceries to cook at home since food and housing is an essential need for anyone in any city. Since they have a job in the city, they will eat and stay within the city. Thus, these activities will eventually contribute to the local economy in one way or the other. The author has not explored this line of thought and simply correlated the decrease in wages as a danger to the local economy.
Secondly, employers in the city prefer these migrants and therefore the inflow is increasing, and thus average wages declining as stated by the author. All these will eventually lead to more profits for the employers, and they will be looking for new avenues to invest and grow their businesses further. Since the entirety of this positive activity is happening in the city, it will of course help the local economy grow bigger.
Finally, imposing a moratorium on further immigration can prove to be counterproductive if the businesses decide to move out of the city. As we discussed above, businesses love profits, and they will reinvest it back into the economy. However, with a moratorium in place, these employers will then flock to areas with more business-friendly policies and thus this will impact the city in the long run since the existing job market in the city would have also been greatly disturbed.
To conclude, the author has failed to see the immigrant inflow in a more rounded way and has hastily driven unconvincing conclusions based on one data point. If the author wants to make a strong case for imposing a moratorium on further immigration, he/she should give additional evidence that the aforementioned benefits to the local economy are small in comparison to the damage, if any, done to the economy.
11 Oct 2023, 06:37
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AWA Score: 5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5
The essay demonstrates good coherence and connectivity between ideas. The arguments flow logically from one point to the next, contributing to the overall clarity of the response.
Word structure: 5
The language and word structure in the essay are effective. There are no major issues with grammar or sentence structure, and the vocabulary is appropriate.
Paragraph structure and formation: 5
The essay is well-organized into paragraphs, but there are a few places where the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother for improved readability.
Language and Grammar: 5
The essay employs correct grammar and language usage throughout, with only minor, occasional issues that do not significantly affect overall fluency.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5
The vocabulary and word expression are generally sound, but there is some potential for further enrichment with more varied and sophisticated vocabulary in places.
Overall, this essay provides a coherent and well-structured response to the argument, effectively identifying flaws in the original argument's logic and assumptions. The language and grammar are strong, although there is room for improvement in paragraph transitions and vocabulary usage for a slightly higher score.
Coherence and connectivity: 5
The essay demonstrates good coherence and connectivity between ideas. The arguments flow logically from one point to the next, contributing to the overall clarity of the response.
Word structure: 5
The language and word structure in the essay are effective. There are no major issues with grammar or sentence structure, and the vocabulary is appropriate.
Paragraph structure and formation: 5
The essay is well-organized into paragraphs, but there are a few places where the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother for improved readability.
Language and Grammar: 5
The essay employs correct grammar and language usage throughout, with only minor, occasional issues that do not significantly affect overall fluency.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5
The vocabulary and word expression are generally sound, but there is some potential for further enrichment with more varied and sophisticated vocabulary in places.
Overall, this essay provides a coherent and well-structured response to the argument, effectively identifying flaws in the original argument's logic and assumptions. The language and grammar are strong, although there is room for improvement in paragraph transitions and vocabulary usage for a slightly higher score.
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