can anyone please glance this through for me? any pointers / score estimates would be good?
im shooting for hbs 2+2 so looking to get a 6
Prompt:
"Seven years ago, Zephyr Industries had no problem recruiting qualified candidates from college campuses. This year, however, Zephyr has hired only three qualified interns, fewer than one-quarter of those hired in each of the three preceding years. This suggests that the company's recruitment efforts need to be revamped. Since a growing number of potential recruits learn of career opportunities via social media and online discussion boards, Zephyr should suspend its campus recruitment efforts and instead hire social media consultants."
Response:
This argument claims that Zephyr Industries have only been able to recruit and hire three qualified interns, which is fewer than one-quarter of those hired in previous years, due to problems in the company's recruitment efforts. Therefore, the Zephyr should abandon its current method of campus recruitment in favor of the increasingly popular social media method. Stated in this way the argument fails mention several key factors, on the basis on which it can be evaluated. The recommendation advanced in this argument is questionable because the author assumes a false cause and effect relationship between poor recruitment and low hires and the author neglects to provide evidence for suggesting that social media recruitment would be more effective than campus recruitment.
To begin with, the author makes the unsupported claim that because the currently technique of recruitment is inadequate, Zephyr has only been able to hire three interns. The author assumes a cause and effect relationship between the recruitment method and the number of hires and uses this causal relationship as the basis for the suggestion that the current recruitment method be abandoned. However, no evidence for this causal connection is provided; the mere fact that Zephyr has been recently experiencing problems in hiring does not necessarily mean that there is a problem with the current recruitment method. For instance, Zephyr may not be doing as well as other companies in the same industry, and students are less interested in applying for jobs at Zephyr because they see it as a company in decline. Likewise, it is possible that Zephyr's offer package is not as attractive as that of competing companies, and students who live on a tight budget would prefer a company that offers pay. Without compelling support to establish to cause and effect relationship between low hires and recruitment issues, the author's claims are not worthy of consideration.
Moreover, the author readily assumes that social media is the solution to the improving recruitment results without providing concrete evidence for the case. The author simply states that because social media is becoming increasingly popular as a medium for potential recruits to learn of career opportunities, social media recruiting must be the right choice for Zephyr. The author even goes as far as to suggest completely eliminating campus recruitment and completely neglects to consider possible risks associated with doing so. For example, students may hear of new opportunities first on social media but may still prefer to have the face to face interaction during campus recruitment before deciding to apply to an employer. By using the generalization that a growing number of potential recruits hear about employment opportunities on social media as the basis for completely revamping Zephyr's recruitment program, the author make the critical mistake of making a decision without considering all factors at play.
As it stands, the argument is weak because an unsupported cause and effect relationship is assumed between low hires and recruitment technique and because the conclusion to use social media as the sole method of recruitment is not backed up by facts. To strengthen the recommendation that Zephyr should abandon campus recruitment for social media recruitment, the author must provide a thorough analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of both campus and social media recruitment methods. The author may also want to consider first establishing that the problem with Zephyr's low hiring number is due to recruitment issues and not due to other factors.