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21 Jun 2014, 07:26
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Analysis of argument
The following appeared as part of an article in a magazine devoted to regional life:
“Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in
the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of
the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios
is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of
innovative technologies.”
From the passage, the argument suggested that the city of Helios would be a good place for seeking new business opportunities. The author points out that Helios's unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. On the other hand, Helios has provided more than its share of region's manufacturing jobs and Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. However, the argument is flawed and unsubstantiated for two reasons.
First, the author commits the fallacy of“all things are equal”. The fact that happened in the past is not a sound evidence to draw a conclusion that the unemployment rate will be higher in the future. The author assumes without justification that the background conditions have remained the same at different times. Indeed, the low unemployment rate may be the case that the city of Helios has a large base of senior people who are not in the working-age group, as a result, the city's low unemployment should not be considered as a reason for business to come.
Secondly, Helios is underway to expand the economic base by attracting research institute and High-tech companies. The logic behind the argument is not well-standard. As we mention in the earlier paragraph that city's low unemployment is the result of small labor force, so the problem may arise because city may lack of prospective labor pool to supply the new demand of researchers and tech employees. Thus, companies in the area are require to find a way to recruit people from other states, which in turn, would increase expenses for companies.
In conclusion, the author has not succeeded in providing compelling reasons for selecting Helis as the ideal place for a company seeking to relocate. If author provide more critical economic report and background about the city to companies for review, then companies will be more confident about relocating.
The following appeared as part of an article in a magazine devoted to regional life:
“Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in
the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of
the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios
is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of
innovative technologies.”
From the passage, the argument suggested that the city of Helios would be a good place for seeking new business opportunities. The author points out that Helios's unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. On the other hand, Helios has provided more than its share of region's manufacturing jobs and Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. However, the argument is flawed and unsubstantiated for two reasons.
First, the author commits the fallacy of“all things are equal”. The fact that happened in the past is not a sound evidence to draw a conclusion that the unemployment rate will be higher in the future. The author assumes without justification that the background conditions have remained the same at different times. Indeed, the low unemployment rate may be the case that the city of Helios has a large base of senior people who are not in the working-age group, as a result, the city's low unemployment should not be considered as a reason for business to come.
Secondly, Helios is underway to expand the economic base by attracting research institute and High-tech companies. The logic behind the argument is not well-standard. As we mention in the earlier paragraph that city's low unemployment is the result of small labor force, so the problem may arise because city may lack of prospective labor pool to supply the new demand of researchers and tech employees. Thus, companies in the area are require to find a way to recruit people from other states, which in turn, would increase expenses for companies.
In conclusion, the author has not succeeded in providing compelling reasons for selecting Helis as the ideal place for a company seeking to relocate. If author provide more critical economic report and background about the city to companies for review, then companies will be more confident about relocating.
21 Jun 2014, 10:29
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I'm not entirely sure, maybe a 2. You're use of verbs and sentence structure is a bit concerning. If you do not have the luxury of time to work on improving this (it will take some time), then I'd suggest writing three body paragraphs and ending each with one sentence on how to improve the argument. In your conclusion I would wrap up everything better and to provide more specific details on how the argument can improve.
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