Hi
Just wrote my first AWA for the below Argument from the OG. Can you please review ans suggest improvements to me. Thanks
The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company:
“When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore,
the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such
centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all
employees.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
My Essay:
The Argument's conclusion that moving all of Apogee's operations to one location would make it more profitable is essentially flawed. The Argument omits few fundamentally important criteria's like the timeline during which Apogee company used to operate from a single location, how much the company has grown in that time, The various geographies it caters to.
The Argument presents a very overconfident solution by the way of saying that "When the company was Operating from One location it made more profit". It Omits at what stage of the company's growth was it operating from a single location. Was this during its early years when the number of people were very less and the operations were limited to a particular geography. It could have been that since the company was small and the operating expenses were also low, the Profits used to be high. Only drawing a conclusion from one assumption is flawed to say the least.
The Argument does not mention what was the reason in the first place the company started operating from multiple locations. In most cases the operations are distributed to cater to different geographies and also to be closer to the supply Chain. Without these details it is difficult to take the Argument seriosuly.
The Argument does not mention what will be consequences if the Company closes down its operations at other locations. How the negative publicity will impact its Customers and also its Market share.
Because the Argument leaves out many of the key points, it is impossible to consider it as a sound argument. If it includes all the items discussed above instead of just drawing a simplistic conclusion, the Argument would have been more thorough and convincing.