“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains sev

Question

Question: “Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health."

My response: 
The argument claims that the Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several minerals necessary for good health and is completely free of bacteria, thus even if the water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health. Althugh, the argument seems to be of merit, due to lack of proper evidence, weak assumptions and vague language, the argument is rather unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that the reason that residents of the town are hospitalized less frequently is because of the water of the natural spring. However, there has been no link drawn between the two and there can be several other factors majorly contributing to the good health of the people such as healthy food habits, clean air etc.

Second, the argument states that residents of Saluda are hospitalized less frequently. Stating this, the argument lacks evidence to show that exact figures and data. There can be numerous possibilities leading to this low average: population of the town is very less, people don't believe in going to hospital for petty health issues, people can't afford hospital treatments or the records of the hospital are not properly maintained. Clearly, the argument applies poor reasoning and use weak assumptions to come at a conclusion.

Finally, the argument states that the Saluda Natural Spring Water is expensive than the tap water but still it is a wise investment in good health. However, the argument fails to take into consideration that there may be a possibility that, in order to ensure good health, other inexpensive things are available in the town.

In the light of the fore mentioned fallacies, we may conclude that without these information the argument is unsubtantiated and open to debate and thus, obviates the need to say that magazine must evaluate and rectify these flaws in order to make the argument robust and persuasive.

pokhrelb · Answer

4-4.5 for me.
Preety good. Just avoid similar lines and sentence structure.
(I'm not a pro in rating AWA, so thats totally my opinion, anyways you have done a great job)

All the best

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“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains sev

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