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03 Mar 2021, 10:02
Kudos
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My first attempt, please, be harsh. I'm not a native speaker as well.
The following appeared in a memorandum to the work-group supervisors of the GBS Company:
“The CoffeeCart beverage and food service located in the lobby of our main office building is not earning enough in sales to cover its costs, and so the cart may discontinue operating at GBS. Given the low staff morale, as evidenced by the increase in the number of employees leaving the company, the loss of this service could present a problem, especially since the staff morale questionnaire showed widespread dissatisfaction with the snack machines.
Therefore, supervisors should remind the employees in their group to patronize the cart—after all, it was leased for their convenience so that they would not have to walk over to the cafeteria on breaks.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The argument claims that the employees of GBS Company should support the CoffeeCart, which is located in the lobby of the company and which is not earning enough in sales to cover its cost, in order to help the cart to stay in business. Stated in this way the argument fails to mention key factors, on basis of which it could be evaluated, and reveals examples of poor reasoning. The conclusion of the arguments relies on the assumptions for which there is no clear evidence, thus, the argument is unsubstantiated and has several crucial flaws.
First, the argument claims that the employees should be reminded to patronize the CoffeeCart to improve the financial situation of the cart. This claim presents several issues. Forcing the employees of the GBS Company to support the CoffeeCart may affect the staff morale and further lower it. As there is evidence of low staff morale to cause employees to leave the company, this decision may force and push further employees to seek other employment opportunities. Thus, this may result in even lower numbers of potential customers for the CoffeeCart and as well may pose a threat to the personnel situation in the GBS Company itself.
Second, the argument states that according to the staff morale questionnaire the employees of the company are highly dissatisfied with the snack machines. For the evaluation of the argument, it would be helpful to have employees opinions about food and drinks at the CoffeeCart. For, example, it could be the case that the quality of food at the CoffeeCart is even worse and, thus, employees don’t buy food there. Or maybe the CoffeeCart doesn’t sell any snacks at all. If the argument had provided evidence that the employees were happy and satisfied with food and beverages at the CoffeeCart the argument would have been a lot more convincing.
Finally, argument should answer the questions such as why the CoffeeCart isn't earning enough to cover its costs? Has the price of the lease been increased recently? Are there any economic factors, which may have contributed to the loss of profitability? Is the location of the cart convenient for the employees? Do the employees value the convenience of the location of the cart or do they simply use the need to go to the cafeteria as an excuse to go for a short walk? Without convincing answers to these questions the argument could not be properly evaluated.
In conclusion, the argument is unconvincing and flawed for the above-mentioned reasons. It could be considerably strengthened if the author mentioned all the relevant information and investigated what actually led to the loss of the profitability by the CoffeeCart. In order to assess the merits of a certain decision, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors.
The following appeared in a memorandum to the work-group supervisors of the GBS Company:
“The CoffeeCart beverage and food service located in the lobby of our main office building is not earning enough in sales to cover its costs, and so the cart may discontinue operating at GBS. Given the low staff morale, as evidenced by the increase in the number of employees leaving the company, the loss of this service could present a problem, especially since the staff morale questionnaire showed widespread dissatisfaction with the snack machines.
Therefore, supervisors should remind the employees in their group to patronize the cart—after all, it was leased for their convenience so that they would not have to walk over to the cafeteria on breaks.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The argument claims that the employees of GBS Company should support the CoffeeCart, which is located in the lobby of the company and which is not earning enough in sales to cover its cost, in order to help the cart to stay in business. Stated in this way the argument fails to mention key factors, on basis of which it could be evaluated, and reveals examples of poor reasoning. The conclusion of the arguments relies on the assumptions for which there is no clear evidence, thus, the argument is unsubstantiated and has several crucial flaws.
First, the argument claims that the employees should be reminded to patronize the CoffeeCart to improve the financial situation of the cart. This claim presents several issues. Forcing the employees of the GBS Company to support the CoffeeCart may affect the staff morale and further lower it. As there is evidence of low staff morale to cause employees to leave the company, this decision may force and push further employees to seek other employment opportunities. Thus, this may result in even lower numbers of potential customers for the CoffeeCart and as well may pose a threat to the personnel situation in the GBS Company itself.
Second, the argument states that according to the staff morale questionnaire the employees of the company are highly dissatisfied with the snack machines. For the evaluation of the argument, it would be helpful to have employees opinions about food and drinks at the CoffeeCart. For, example, it could be the case that the quality of food at the CoffeeCart is even worse and, thus, employees don’t buy food there. Or maybe the CoffeeCart doesn’t sell any snacks at all. If the argument had provided evidence that the employees were happy and satisfied with food and beverages at the CoffeeCart the argument would have been a lot more convincing.
Finally, argument should answer the questions such as why the CoffeeCart isn't earning enough to cover its costs? Has the price of the lease been increased recently? Are there any economic factors, which may have contributed to the loss of profitability? Is the location of the cart convenient for the employees? Do the employees value the convenience of the location of the cart or do they simply use the need to go to the cafeteria as an excuse to go for a short walk? Without convincing answers to these questions the argument could not be properly evaluated.
In conclusion, the argument is unconvincing and flawed for the above-mentioned reasons. It could be considerably strengthened if the author mentioned all the relevant information and investigated what actually led to the loss of the profitability by the CoffeeCart. In order to assess the merits of a certain decision, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors.
03 Mar 2021, 14:05
Kudos
Bookmarks
Hi and thanks for putting a more descriptive subject!
AWA Score: 4.5 out of 6!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay
Coherence and connectivity: 3/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay
Coherence and connectivity: 3/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
