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28 Apr 2021, 20:19
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Q: Prompt: “The falling revenues that the company is experiencing coincide with delays in manufacturing. These delays, in turn, are due in large part to poor planning in purchasing metals. Consider further that the manager of the department that handles purchasing of raw materials has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology, but knows little about the properties of metals. The company should, therefore, move the purchasing manager to the sales department and bring in a scientist from the research division to be manager of the purchasing department.”
Essay Format
The argument claims that in order to pick up the pace of revenue, the company should check in the manufacturing facility with a possibility of change over of management. Stated in such a way, the argument is not clear in its decision, a weak representation of the facts, and a leap of faith reasoning without clear outcomes. The whole premise could have been presented in a much better way with past performance or datas referring to performance before it was in profit and could have been evaluated that what went wrong.
First the author suggests that the falling revenue of the organisation is coinciding with the manufacturing delays which could be attributed to poor planning in purchase department. However the author might have overlook the possibility that revenues are generated not on the planning part of manufacturing, but depends on sales, volumes, price indexes, metal futures, demands, raw material trends, socio-political agenda etc. Without proper working out on these factors and making solely planning responsible is untenable. The author could have also possibly overlooked the details pertaining to current industrial standards or the environmental factors which also could be a major reason for plummeting revenues. So, unless the holistic approach on research of falling revenues are made, it is unwise to blame poor planning in purchasing metals for the same.
Second, the author also suggests that the current manager though good in general business should be replaced with a scientist from R&D team. This is a major flaw of assumption of replacement. A person with good acumen in general business can help the organisation reduce its input cost and also help the organisation understand the nuances of the trends going in the industries, while a research scientist remains almost unexposed to the business and its current trends. So replacement would be a debacle. Instead the author could have very well suggested that the organisation should analyse the data when the revenues were unticking and possibly what is keeping organisation in losses. Unless these facts are worked and data pertaining to last 5-10 years are checked, the actual reason for fall will remain oblivious and will be beating around bush.
Finally, the major flaw in the suggestion that by merely blaming a department or a management guy for the revenue losses is wrong. The author have overlooked the environmental factors as demands, sales, price indexes, trends, customer orientation or socio political factors which could have reasoned for the losses in revenues. Further the argument also does not explain what could be remedial measures to pull up the revenues and has suggested to replace a business acumen staff from a research scientist, which would not be healthy for the organisation, instead of which it should seek to improvise the existing staff either by some training or by some certifications.
In conclusion, the argument remains flawed for the reasons cited above. The author should suggest better remedial measures to enhance the revenues which could have more weightage in the case as above. In order to access the merit of the certain situation the author fails to justify his argument in the hypothesis stated above and suggests a remedial measure of replacement, which is a very wrong approach. The author should have worked on facts and figures without being so radical in approach. Without this information the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
Essay Format
The argument claims that in order to pick up the pace of revenue, the company should check in the manufacturing facility with a possibility of change over of management. Stated in such a way, the argument is not clear in its decision, a weak representation of the facts, and a leap of faith reasoning without clear outcomes. The whole premise could have been presented in a much better way with past performance or datas referring to performance before it was in profit and could have been evaluated that what went wrong.
First the author suggests that the falling revenue of the organisation is coinciding with the manufacturing delays which could be attributed to poor planning in purchase department. However the author might have overlook the possibility that revenues are generated not on the planning part of manufacturing, but depends on sales, volumes, price indexes, metal futures, demands, raw material trends, socio-political agenda etc. Without proper working out on these factors and making solely planning responsible is untenable. The author could have also possibly overlooked the details pertaining to current industrial standards or the environmental factors which also could be a major reason for plummeting revenues. So, unless the holistic approach on research of falling revenues are made, it is unwise to blame poor planning in purchasing metals for the same.
Second, the author also suggests that the current manager though good in general business should be replaced with a scientist from R&D team. This is a major flaw of assumption of replacement. A person with good acumen in general business can help the organisation reduce its input cost and also help the organisation understand the nuances of the trends going in the industries, while a research scientist remains almost unexposed to the business and its current trends. So replacement would be a debacle. Instead the author could have very well suggested that the organisation should analyse the data when the revenues were unticking and possibly what is keeping organisation in losses. Unless these facts are worked and data pertaining to last 5-10 years are checked, the actual reason for fall will remain oblivious and will be beating around bush.
Finally, the major flaw in the suggestion that by merely blaming a department or a management guy for the revenue losses is wrong. The author have overlooked the environmental factors as demands, sales, price indexes, trends, customer orientation or socio political factors which could have reasoned for the losses in revenues. Further the argument also does not explain what could be remedial measures to pull up the revenues and has suggested to replace a business acumen staff from a research scientist, which would not be healthy for the organisation, instead of which it should seek to improvise the existing staff either by some training or by some certifications.
In conclusion, the argument remains flawed for the reasons cited above. The author should suggest better remedial measures to enhance the revenues which could have more weightage in the case as above. In order to access the merit of the certain situation the author fails to justify his argument in the hypothesis stated above and suggests a remedial measure of replacement, which is a very wrong approach. The author should have worked on facts and figures without being so radical in approach. Without this information the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
05 May 2021, 03:32
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AWA Score: 3.5-4 out of 6!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 2.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 2.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good luck
pkbiet
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