Please evaluate my essay
Q: Prompt: “In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.”
Essay Format
The author debates that people are becoming less concerned of the health as compared to a decade ago in respect of intake of red meat, fat and cheese. This is attributed to the examples presented by the author that veggies shop also includes sale of butter and fat. The author has also tried to corroborate his standpoint by comparing that meat shop owners are rich as compared to the old vegetable shop across streets. The fact presented by the author is really naive as it is a cursory view in this regard. Presented in such a way, the author has failed to acknowledge various points which if analysed would have call in question for the validity of the argument.
First, the author is in the belief that people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating the intake of meat and cheese. This is totally wrong. According to the all leading magazines and as Harvard Medical school data, today’s generation is far more health conscious as ever compared. They have cited that we are very cautious of the intake of calorie, quality as well as quantity wise. People have decreased consumption of meat, cheese, butter, fats, starch foods, synthetic foods, white flours etc which can have a negative impact on health. Stated in such a way, the argument is devoid of the fact and the author have presented a wrong assumption to its readers.
Second, the author has strengthened his position by suggesting that the organic store Heart’s Delight is also selling butter and cheese. Here the author has again failed to recognise that people have lessened their consumption but not stopped it holistically. Still there are many people who have a far better health and metabolic system which help them to digest the same. Also children like these foods which can really enhance their taste buds. So consumption is one side, while the other part is that people exercise more than they used to do earlier. So this consumption can be melted out subsequently by burning calories of body, which is vital for muscle development. Again the way that author has tried to distort the fact is really childish approach and needs to present better facts.
Third, the author has also tried to convince readers by comparing the modest life of a local vegetable shop owner to rich life of a beef shop owner across street. This is again an illogical comparison. According to the recent survey conducted by Mayo Clinic people are turning towards vegetarian and vegan diets. People are giving higher preference to life than to flavour. Also meat is third most source of producing global warming which people are recognising worldwide and taking step in this regard. So presented in such a way, is really a question to the wits of the author.
In conclusion, the argument remains flawed for the reasons cited above. The author needed to assimilate the facts and derive proper conclusion instead of jumping on judgement. Unless the matter would have been presented in a more judicious manner, any decision would be naive and the topic remains open for debate.