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01 Jan 2022, 14:38
Kudos
Bookmarks
"During a recent trial period in which government inspections at selected meat-processing plants were more frequent, the number of bacteria in samples of processed chicken decreased by 50 percent on average from the previous year’s level. If the government were to institute more frequent inspections, the incidence of stomach and intestinal infections throughout the country could thus be cut in half. In the meantime, consumers of Excel Meats should be safe from infection because Excel’s main processing plant has shown more improvement in eliminating bacterial contamination than any other plant cited in the government report."
Response:
The article in the trade magazine argues that the government inspection led to a reduction in bacteria in processed meat, and that consumers of Excel Meats should be safe because its main processing plant showed more improvement than any other selected. The argument, as it currently stands, relies on certain assumption and hence suffers from several logical fallacies that undermine its validity as a whole.
Firstly, the argument asserts that out of the plants selected, a sample of processed chicken showed decrease in the number of bacteria by 50 percent from previous year. However, the argument here fails to provide additional information about whether the sample of plants or sample of meat selected for testing is a true representative of the population as a whole. For example, if the selected plants are the ones that are cleaner than the average population, or if the selected meat sample has lesser number of bacteria than the average population, then the observation that there is a reduction in bacteria by 50% would be incorrect. It is possible that apart from the handful plants or meat sample selected, there is an increase in the number of bacteria in the remaining population. In order to strengthen the argument, the author needs to add further information on the validity of the samples.
In addition to above, the argument also readily assumes that the incidents of stomach and intestinal infections throughout the country could be cut in half if the government inspections become more frequent. It is true that per the inspection, there is a reduction int zd number of bacteria as compared to last year, however, the author incorrectly assumes that the reason for reduction is government inspection. It is possible that there could be other factors that led to reduction in bacteria, such as additional sterilization process, change in storage methods, and so on. Unless the author provide additional evidence that could support this claim, the argument remains vulnerable to criticism.
Finally, the argument claims that consumers of Excel Meats are safe because its main processing plant showed the most improvement in terms of elimination of bacteria contamination. The author here make over-optimistic conclusion based on a weak and unsupported claim. Although the company has shown the most improvement in removing bacteria contamination, but the reduction in number of bacteria is not sufficient to conclude that the meat is healthy. What if the remaining bacteria is more dangerous than the ones eliminated? What if the remaining bacteria is of a new type that could cause a worse infection? To strengthen the argument the author should provide more information and evidence that can logically support this claim.
To summarize, the argument currently suffers from flaws like sampling issues, incorrect correlation and over-optimistic conclusion. The author must introduce additional evidence that could support the stated assertions and improve the argument. However, in its present state, the argument remains unconvincing, unsubstantiated and open to debate.
Response:
The article in the trade magazine argues that the government inspection led to a reduction in bacteria in processed meat, and that consumers of Excel Meats should be safe because its main processing plant showed more improvement than any other selected. The argument, as it currently stands, relies on certain assumption and hence suffers from several logical fallacies that undermine its validity as a whole.
Firstly, the argument asserts that out of the plants selected, a sample of processed chicken showed decrease in the number of bacteria by 50 percent from previous year. However, the argument here fails to provide additional information about whether the sample of plants or sample of meat selected for testing is a true representative of the population as a whole. For example, if the selected plants are the ones that are cleaner than the average population, or if the selected meat sample has lesser number of bacteria than the average population, then the observation that there is a reduction in bacteria by 50% would be incorrect. It is possible that apart from the handful plants or meat sample selected, there is an increase in the number of bacteria in the remaining population. In order to strengthen the argument, the author needs to add further information on the validity of the samples.
In addition to above, the argument also readily assumes that the incidents of stomach and intestinal infections throughout the country could be cut in half if the government inspections become more frequent. It is true that per the inspection, there is a reduction int zd number of bacteria as compared to last year, however, the author incorrectly assumes that the reason for reduction is government inspection. It is possible that there could be other factors that led to reduction in bacteria, such as additional sterilization process, change in storage methods, and so on. Unless the author provide additional evidence that could support this claim, the argument remains vulnerable to criticism.
Finally, the argument claims that consumers of Excel Meats are safe because its main processing plant showed the most improvement in terms of elimination of bacteria contamination. The author here make over-optimistic conclusion based on a weak and unsupported claim. Although the company has shown the most improvement in removing bacteria contamination, but the reduction in number of bacteria is not sufficient to conclude that the meat is healthy. What if the remaining bacteria is more dangerous than the ones eliminated? What if the remaining bacteria is of a new type that could cause a worse infection? To strengthen the argument the author should provide more information and evidence that can logically support this claim.
To summarize, the argument currently suffers from flaws like sampling issues, incorrect correlation and over-optimistic conclusion. The author must introduce additional evidence that could support the stated assertions and improve the argument. However, in its present state, the argument remains unconvincing, unsubstantiated and open to debate.
02 Jan 2022, 06:24
Kudos
Bookmarks
AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6
I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good Luck
KM121132
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