Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer

Question

Prompt

The following appeared as part of a newspaper editorial:

“Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.”

Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

Argument, as part of newspaper editorial, argued to use greater portion of available funds to buy more computers and to adopt interactive computer instructions throughout the curriculum. In order to bolster its claim, argument cites the example of Nova High School which started using interactive computer instructions two years ago and experienced decline in dropout rate immediately along with some impressive achievements by last year's graduates. However, because of several reasons discussed in subsequent paragraphs, this evidence offers dubious support for argument's conclusion.

First, by asserting that last year's graduates reported "impressive achievements" in college after introduction of interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects, argument seeks to establish a causal relationship between impressive achievements of last year's graduates in college and introduction of interactive computer instructions in three academic subjects. However, it is not clear that whether the impressive achievements by graduates were in these three academic subjects or in some other field such as sports. If the impressive achievements of graduates were in some other non-academic field, then interactive computer instruction program was definitely not accountable for these achievements. Since the evidence presented is open to divergent interpretations, it fails to make a convincing case for argument's recommendations.

Second, evidence cited involves ambigous language. For example, argument states that school droupout rate "declined" immediately after adoption of interactive computer instruction. This is an indefinite word. The word "decline" might mean 50% decrease in dropout rate. Alternatively, the word "decline" might denote decrease of only 1% in dropout rate, and to incorporate interactive computer instruction, which, presumably, is a money intensive program, for such a mere decline in school dropout rate is certainly not justified.

Third, even if students at Nova High school have benefitted from interactive computer instruction, argument unwarrantedly assumes that students at Nova High School is typical of those at all schools in district. Consider the example of some public funded school which mainly provides education to economically disadvantaged students who do not even possess basic computer knowledge. Such students may not be receptive to computer based learning at all, and introducing interactive computer instruction perhaps is not advantageous for such students. Since Nova High School cannot be representative of all schools in the district, conclusion drawn on the results observed in Nova High School is just an overstatement.

In summary, argument is substantially flawed and is neither sound nor persuasive. It fails to convey any compelling reason for schools in the district to adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 5.5 - 6 out of 6

I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5 
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5  
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5 
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

deepika257 · Answer

Please, evaluate my response as well.

The following appeared as part of a newspaper editorial:
“Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The
school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in
college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more
computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

---------------
MY RESPONSE
---------------

The editorial recommends that Nova High School should increase the budget to buy more computers in coming years and that all schools in the district should start using interactive computer instruction in their curriculum. This recommendation is based on the positive results of using interactive computer instruction for two years at Nova High School. The article states that as a result of interactive computer instruction, Nova High School saw a decline in the rate of school dropouts and great achievements by its last year’s graduates in college. However, concluding that dropout rate and students' performance after graduating are dependent on interactive computer instruction used in three academic subjects is questionable and not supported by any evidence. Therefore, the suggestion for all the schools to aggressively adopt interactive computer instruction is weak in several respects.

Firstly, there is no evidence provided to support the assumption that dropout rate at Nova High School declined because of interactive computer instruction. The author ignores the possibility of other factors like changes made in curriculum, adding subjects that are more in-demand among students etc., affecting the dropout rates. Therefore, author may consider to include survey results conducted on students to support the role of interactive computer instruction in making studies easier for students. Similarly, the fact that last year’s graduates have impressive achievements in college can not be as such assumed to be the benefit of interactive computer instruction used in the school. Also, there is no information provided on the type of achievements reported. In case, the achievements are not academic, this will make the author's inference unreasonable.

In conclusion, the recommendation made by author is unconvincing and lacks support of evidence. In order to make the conclusion stronger, author may consider including data like survey results showing benefits of interactive computer instruction for students, students' opinion on new method introduced etc. Also, some evidence on how interactive computer instruction can be helpful even after graduating from school and relating it to the achievements at college would help to support the conclusion.

deepika257 · Answer

Thanks for the input. Please evaluate my second attempt.

The following appeared as part of a newspaper editorial:
“Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The
school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in
college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more
computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

---------
MY RESPONSE
------------

In the article, author suggests that, in coming years, Nova High School should increase the percentage of budget alloted to buy new computers based on the success of interactive computer instruction in three subjects for past two years. The author goes a step ahead to recommend that all the other schools in the district should follow Nova High School and make interactive computer instruction part of their curriculum as well. The success of interactive computer instruction is evaluated based on facts that the school dropout rate started to decrease immediately after introducing interactive computer instruction and that last year's graduates performed exceptionally in their colleges. The argument that both the incidents happened because of change in academic instructions is both questionable and unreasonable. Also, assuming that same method would benefit all the schools in similar way seems to be a hasty generalization without any data supporting it.

In the article, editor ignores the possibility of other factors that can cause decline in school dropout rate and assumes that interactive computer instruction is the only cause of the decline. In fact, factors like change in the minimum qualification for certain jobs, introduction of new subjects in the curriculum, new government policy of financial support for school education etc. might also happened around the same time when Nova High School introduced interactive computer instruction and played a role in reducing the school dropouts. Author may consider to conduct a survey in the school to understand the pros/cons of interactive computer instruction from students and use its results to support his assumption.

Additionally, author presents the achievements of last year's graduates in college as success of new mode of instruction without providing details on the kind and amount of achievements. For example, in case, the achievements reported are not academic achievements, it would weaken the author's argument. So, it is crucial to include details of the kind of achievements reported and the statistics showing the percentage of improvement as compared to the previous graduates' performance. This will help to clarify the role of interactive computer instruction in enhancing the capabilities of its students.

Finally, without proper evidence on the amount of improvement brought by interactive computer instruction, the author suggests that Nova High School should buy more computer in order to increase the usage of interactive computer instruction. It is important to evaluate the feasibility of scaling interactive computer instruction in the school. Feasibility can be based on several factors like availability of trained staff to conduct these sessions, overall expenditure on training the staff and maintaining the computer labs, infrastructural capacity of school to accommodate new computers etc. And, even if this mode of instruction is successful in Nova High School, there is no premise provided in the article to relate its success in all the other schools of the district.

In conclusion, the author may consider to include survey results in order to support his argument that interactive computer instruction caused the decline in school dropouts. Apart from that, it is very important to present statistics on the kind of achievements and percent increase in improvement reported by last year's graduates' in their colleges. A feasibility report on scaling the adoption of interactive computer instruction in Nova High School and other schools in the district would strengthen the conclusion and will make it properly reasoned.

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 4.5 - 5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 2/5  
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5   
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5 
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

wtaechaprapasaeng · Answer

Hi, please rate my essay;

The argument claims that since Nova High School adopted interactive computer instruction two years ago, the school dropout rate and student achievements are improved. Therefore, according to this relation, the school should invest more on the supplies which related to the interactive computer instruction and implement it in all curriculums. The author readily assumes that interactive computer instruction is the main factor that directly drives graduate achievements and lowers dropout rate. Further, the interactive computer instruction should be adopt in all classes, as it will improve school performance. The argument relies on oversimplified assumption and has no convincing evidence. Hence, the argument has some serious flaws.

First, the author assumes casual relationship between the interactive computer program and better school performance. The argument fails to consider other factors that may contributes to the school performance. To justify, graduate achievements may increase from only top class students. Dropout rate that declined could contribute from classes which did not implement the interactive computer program. Therefore, there is no certainty that the interactive computer program was the main driver of great school performance last year. The argument would have been strengthened, if the author stated that better school performance comes from three subjects that implemented the interactive computer instruction.

Second, there is no discussion on the limitation of the computer interaction program. The argument does not give any specific details about what is exactly the program help to improve student quality. Further, it is important to know that the computer instruction has limitation to assist in teaching or not. For example, the computer instruction can apply to some specific classes or not, such as laboratory class or gym class. The argument could have been much clearer, if the author describes the instruction function and limitation in details.

Finally, what are other factors that may drive school performance? There are many factors which could affect school performance as mentioned above. How does the computer instruction helps student and What are the limitation of the it? Without convincing answer to the question, the conclusion is more of a weak observation rather than substantiated plan.

In summary, the argument is flawed for above-mentioned gap. The argument could have been more strengthened, if the author gives all related facts. In order to fully understand the situation, it is essential to have full knowledge. Without further convincing information, the argument is open to debate and weak.

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 5 - 5.5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 4/5 
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5  
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5  
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

donu · Answer

Hi, please analyze this essay for me please. Thanks!

The argument in the newspaper editorial states that Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects in the last two years and seems to suggest that the school dropout rate and the impressive achievements of the school’s graduates are as a result of the introduction of the use of interactive computer instruction. Hence, the argument goes ahead to conclude that the school board use a greater share of available funds for more computers and that all schools in the district adopt computer instruction in their entire curriculum. However, this argument is flawed and unconvincing because it is based on several unsupported assumptions and because it fails to consider other factors that are necessary in evaluating its conclusion.

First, the argument is flawed because it assumes that the school dropout rate and achievments of its recent graduates resulted from the computer instruction in the three academic subjects without supporting the assumption with cogent evidence. The argument draws a relationship between the introduction of computer instruction and the dropout rate and its graduates’ achievements, but this relationship is weak because there are several other factors that could have promoted those positive changes in the school. For instance, the dropout rate could have declined because of better quality teaching or through better management of the school by the board. Furthermore, last year’s graduates may have reported impressive achievments in college because they were taught using a new and improved curriculum that was only introduced in their year. Clearly, there are other factors that could reduce the dropout rate and promote success of the school’s graduates in college, therefore, the argument could have been more convincing if it could provide evidence that computer instruction was the primary cause of those positive changes in the school.

Second, the argument is posits that schools should dedicate more funds to purchasing computers and that all schools should adopt computer instruction. This conclusion is flawed and is more of wishful thinking because it does not consider the feasibility of such a plan. In Nova High School, the ratio of students to computers may already be optimal such that if more computers are purchased resources may be wasted because those computers would be unused. Furthermore, many schools may not have sufficient funds to pruchase computers and if they were to divert resources from other aspects of their schools simply to purchase computers other operations that are necessary to run the school may suffer which could in turn hamper the success of such schools and their graduates. For example, diverting funds from sports facilities to purchase computers could reduce student morale and could cause more dropouts. The argument would be more convincing if it could show that purchasing more computers would not lead to a waste of resources and would not cause other important aspects of the schools’ operations to suffer.

Third, even if it could be convincingly proven that computer instruction had positive effects on the Nova High School and its graduates, the argument’s conclusion generalizes that such positive effects would also be had in other schools. Those other schools may have different characteristics such that using computer instruction could be counterproductive or not very beneficial. For example if a school with toddlers adopts computer instruction, the toddlers may not gain much value out of the computer instruction.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened by showing a clear and convincing relationship between dropout rates and computer instruction and by showing that dedicating a larger proportion of funds to computer instruction would not hamper the success of the schools in the district. Because the argument does not offer such, it remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5  
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 3.5/5  
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5 
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

General comments

The essay presents a well-structured argument that addresses the prompt effectively by analyzing the reasoning and evidence provided in the editorial. The writer uses clear and concise language throughout the essay, which enhances the overall coherence and readability.

The essay effectively identifies several flaws in the argument presented in the editorial, particularly regarding the unsupported assumption that computer instruction was solely responsible for the positive changes in Nova High School, and the feasibility of implementing computer instruction in all schools in the district. The essay also provides several alternative explanations and counterexamples to the argument presented.

However, the essay could be strengthened by providing more specific evidence to support the counterarguments presented. While the essay provides examples of alternative factors that could have contributed to the positive changes in Nova High School, it would be more effective to provide specific evidence, such as data or research studies, to support these claims.

Overall, the essay is well-written and effectively analyzes the argument presented in the editorial, but could benefit from more specific evidence to support the counterarguments presented.

Good Luck

donu · Answer

Thanks for your feedback Sajjad. Do you have any more specific info on how I can improve my Paragraph structure and formation? I followed the recommendation you gave but I did not score high on that. Thanks

Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer

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