Hi everyone! Could you please help me by giving me your opinion on this essay? (Sorry if this topic had already been posted many times, I understand it´s because it´s part of the Official Practice haha)
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Many thanks in advance!
Mario
Argument:"Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers—some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track."
EssayThe previous argument intends to find an explanation for motorcycle X imitators´ unsuccesful attempt at competing with the original product for its clients, but it makes several logical flaws that end up limiting the text´s potential convincing appeal to the reader.
Firstly, the author fails to provide clear, meaningful evidence for his theories, which in turn seem to be purely speculative. The use of vague language like "sell at least well", provide an obvious example of lack of seriousness in the author´s tone. Because of said subjective and speculative tone, the argument is weakened and loses legitimacy. Have strong, solid evidence been provided and correctly analyzed, the argument would have benefitted enormously.
Also, the comparison drawn between the allegedly sucessful sale of "quiet" foreign cars and the unsuccesful sales numbers presented by "quiet" foreign motorcycles, suffers from a vital flaw: it assumes what is true for the car industry can be applicable to the reality of the motorcycle industry. This further debilitates the argument´s overall credibility.
Because of the aforementioned points, it can be concluded that the argument fails to present a solid case and, thus, also fails at its core objective of convincing the reader.