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22 Sep 2022, 07:36
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What score might I get for the essay written below the prompt? Thanks!
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Question
The following appeared as part of an article in the business section of a local newspaper.
"Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers—some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
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The argument claims that a foreign company that copied Motorcycle X's product has failed to achieve the same level of success. This conclusion is based on the premise that the copied product from the foreign company fails to make the same loud noise that motorcycle X makes, which has resulted in low sales. However, the argument lacks relevant and sufficient evidence, making several assumptions that could affect key factors of its conclusion. For example, the argument disregards the number of years motorcycle X has been in business as a potential reason why the foreign company has not found success. Furthermore, the author assumes that the success of foreign cars will also be the same as the success of other types of foreign automobiles. Finally, the argument assumes that one marketing strategy by the company defines its overall advertising campaign.
Firstly, the author misses the opportunity to dive into a hugely important variable, the number of years a company has been in business. The author fails to mention how long the foreign company's motorcycle has been present in the market. Motorcycle X's 70 years in business may be a huge contributor to why their customers do not switch to a cheaper version. For example, customers of a Mercedes car will not move to a cheaper alternative due to the prestige and quality they get. Therefore, the customer's loyalty to motorcycle X may be a contributing factor that is missing in the author's argument.
Secondly, the author provides a comparison to foreign cars that achieved a similar level of success to American-made cars but provides no evidence on why and how these industries would be correlated. It stands as a questionable assumption due to the lack of evidence that foreign motorcycles should also see the same level of success. If the author had provided a link between the comparison of cars and motorcycles, the argument would have been stronger and more reliable.
Lastly, the argument highlights a single marketing campaign that the author uses to support their argument. The author fails to provide significant evidence that customers are not satisfied with the lack of sound that the foreign motorcycle makes as the cause of reason for the low sales. The premiered television advertisements may be announcing new features of the product rather than focusing on what motorcycle X is already known for. The loud noise may still be a big attraction of why customers choose motorcycle X. Had the author focused on the brand value and actual customer reviews of the product, the argument would be much stronger.
In conclusion, although the argument rightly acknowledges that there must be an underlying variable affecting the foreign motorcycle's sales, there are several factors that the author failed to consider. The author should provide more relevant evidence to support their conclusion and to create a direct link to its premise. By providing more details that address other factors mentioned, reliable comparisons, and accurate customer feedback, the argument would be stronger.
-----------------------------------
Question
The following appeared as part of an article in the business section of a local newspaper.
"Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers—some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
------------------------------------
The argument claims that a foreign company that copied Motorcycle X's product has failed to achieve the same level of success. This conclusion is based on the premise that the copied product from the foreign company fails to make the same loud noise that motorcycle X makes, which has resulted in low sales. However, the argument lacks relevant and sufficient evidence, making several assumptions that could affect key factors of its conclusion. For example, the argument disregards the number of years motorcycle X has been in business as a potential reason why the foreign company has not found success. Furthermore, the author assumes that the success of foreign cars will also be the same as the success of other types of foreign automobiles. Finally, the argument assumes that one marketing strategy by the company defines its overall advertising campaign.
Firstly, the author misses the opportunity to dive into a hugely important variable, the number of years a company has been in business. The author fails to mention how long the foreign company's motorcycle has been present in the market. Motorcycle X's 70 years in business may be a huge contributor to why their customers do not switch to a cheaper version. For example, customers of a Mercedes car will not move to a cheaper alternative due to the prestige and quality they get. Therefore, the customer's loyalty to motorcycle X may be a contributing factor that is missing in the author's argument.
Secondly, the author provides a comparison to foreign cars that achieved a similar level of success to American-made cars but provides no evidence on why and how these industries would be correlated. It stands as a questionable assumption due to the lack of evidence that foreign motorcycles should also see the same level of success. If the author had provided a link between the comparison of cars and motorcycles, the argument would have been stronger and more reliable.
Lastly, the argument highlights a single marketing campaign that the author uses to support their argument. The author fails to provide significant evidence that customers are not satisfied with the lack of sound that the foreign motorcycle makes as the cause of reason for the low sales. The premiered television advertisements may be announcing new features of the product rather than focusing on what motorcycle X is already known for. The loud noise may still be a big attraction of why customers choose motorcycle X. Had the author focused on the brand value and actual customer reviews of the product, the argument would be much stronger.
In conclusion, although the argument rightly acknowledges that there must be an underlying variable affecting the foreign motorcycle's sales, there are several factors that the author failed to consider. The author should provide more relevant evidence to support their conclusion and to create a direct link to its premise. By providing more details that address other factors mentioned, reliable comparisons, and accurate customer feedback, the argument would be stronger.
23 Sep 2022, 11:18
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AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good Luck
gmattaker3397
23 Sep 2022, 11:27
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Thank you so much!!
