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13 May 2023, 06:35
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Prompt-
The clamor of threat for the physical stores posed by the online retailers has been consistently increasing. Intelligentsia has indulged in hasty laudation of the online model and bashing of the physical model in today’s internet-driven world. These proponents may not be aware that 70% of the country’s top 100 online retail companies had negative profits in the last quarter and 80% of the companies have foreign funding which is often risky, unreliable. Further, the main reason why consumers prefer the online retailers is the high discount offered, often coming at the cost of the investors’ money. How long can this continue? Olympus, a traditional retailer, must certainly believe that the physical stores are there to stay and must focus on opening more stores rather than worry about tapping the online retailing ways
Response-
The prompt rendered to us states that people are quick to laud the successes of online retail businesses, while they bash the physical retail format of business despite its merits. Accordingly, the prompt states that Olympus, a traditional retail, should expand its brick-and-mortar store operations rather than expanding its online scope. Going ahead, we shall try to evaluate the claims made by the prompt to determine whether this is a suitable suggestion.
Firstly, the given statement claims 70% of the country’s top 100 online retailers had losses in the previous quarter. However, it fails to make a valid comparison between the performance of online and offline businesses. We are not given any reason as to why most of the online businesses incurred losses. We don’t even know how much better or worse did other businesses perform in the said quarter. If the country was reeling under tough market conditions, and almost 90% of physical businesses incurred heavier losses, then by comparison, online businesses fared much better. We need to know the market conditions that contributed to the online firms’ losses, the profitability of other businesses in the period as well as the degree of profits earned or losses incurred by the relevant parties in order to make a meaningful evaluation.
Secondly, the statement claims that 80% of online companies receive foreign funding, which is a risky source of investment funds. However, we don’t know the relevant details pertaining to the typical investment structure and portfolio for businesses in the market. The market may be performing poorly because of which, banks may be hesitant to providing loans to any business except for at high interest rates. And comparatively, businesses may find it easier to avail financing from foreign investors who may have higher risk appetite than the banks operating within the country. In such cases, any business will rush to easier available source of funds, irrespective of the reliability of the flow of funds. Since, we are unaware of the typical sources of funding and the associated costs prevalent among the businesses within this country, we can’t claim that the 80% of the top 100 online retailers being funded by foreigners is necessarily a bad or unwanted situation.
Thirdly, it claims that online businesses provide heavy discounts at the cost of investor funding. However, these discounts may also come from the savings in rent, electricity and other expenses that would have been otherwise incurred by business were it in a physical retail format. Since there is no way to confirm this from the claim, it can be negated.
Finally, the statement boldly claims that Olympus, a traditional retailer, should focus on its physical retail expansion rather than focusing on the expansion of online operations. The statement cites two existing conditions of the online retail industry i.e. losses in the previous quarter and foreign source of funding to claim that a traditional retailer should focus on its brick-and-mortar stores, without providing any additional information about the industry, economy or the market conditions. This is akin to providing the bare minimum information and deriving a large conclusion, while ignoring other innumerous variables that may be affecting the main conclusion. In case the market is performing poorly, which contributed to the losses of online retailers in the previous quarter, it is possible for physical stores to have incurred heavier losses due to higher operating costs. So, Olympus may be looking to offset its operating costs such as rent, utilities, salaries etc. by shifting a part of its business online. This is an entirely valid possibility that goes against the conclusion drawn by the prompt. Additionally, Olympus may be looking to expand in new geographic areas, but opening stores in those new places might be a risky venture, so it may start online operations and then expand its physical outlets in the new region, if the online business does well.
In conclusion, we have pointed out the flaws that this argument suffers from. And accordingly, its claim regarding Olympus’s expansion strategy has been called into question as well. We need additional relevant data and information to make a stronger claim.
The clamor of threat for the physical stores posed by the online retailers has been consistently increasing. Intelligentsia has indulged in hasty laudation of the online model and bashing of the physical model in today’s internet-driven world. These proponents may not be aware that 70% of the country’s top 100 online retail companies had negative profits in the last quarter and 80% of the companies have foreign funding which is often risky, unreliable. Further, the main reason why consumers prefer the online retailers is the high discount offered, often coming at the cost of the investors’ money. How long can this continue? Olympus, a traditional retailer, must certainly believe that the physical stores are there to stay and must focus on opening more stores rather than worry about tapping the online retailing ways
Response-
The prompt rendered to us states that people are quick to laud the successes of online retail businesses, while they bash the physical retail format of business despite its merits. Accordingly, the prompt states that Olympus, a traditional retail, should expand its brick-and-mortar store operations rather than expanding its online scope. Going ahead, we shall try to evaluate the claims made by the prompt to determine whether this is a suitable suggestion.
Firstly, the given statement claims 70% of the country’s top 100 online retailers had losses in the previous quarter. However, it fails to make a valid comparison between the performance of online and offline businesses. We are not given any reason as to why most of the online businesses incurred losses. We don’t even know how much better or worse did other businesses perform in the said quarter. If the country was reeling under tough market conditions, and almost 90% of physical businesses incurred heavier losses, then by comparison, online businesses fared much better. We need to know the market conditions that contributed to the online firms’ losses, the profitability of other businesses in the period as well as the degree of profits earned or losses incurred by the relevant parties in order to make a meaningful evaluation.
Secondly, the statement claims that 80% of online companies receive foreign funding, which is a risky source of investment funds. However, we don’t know the relevant details pertaining to the typical investment structure and portfolio for businesses in the market. The market may be performing poorly because of which, banks may be hesitant to providing loans to any business except for at high interest rates. And comparatively, businesses may find it easier to avail financing from foreign investors who may have higher risk appetite than the banks operating within the country. In such cases, any business will rush to easier available source of funds, irrespective of the reliability of the flow of funds. Since, we are unaware of the typical sources of funding and the associated costs prevalent among the businesses within this country, we can’t claim that the 80% of the top 100 online retailers being funded by foreigners is necessarily a bad or unwanted situation.
Thirdly, it claims that online businesses provide heavy discounts at the cost of investor funding. However, these discounts may also come from the savings in rent, electricity and other expenses that would have been otherwise incurred by business were it in a physical retail format. Since there is no way to confirm this from the claim, it can be negated.
Finally, the statement boldly claims that Olympus, a traditional retailer, should focus on its physical retail expansion rather than focusing on the expansion of online operations. The statement cites two existing conditions of the online retail industry i.e. losses in the previous quarter and foreign source of funding to claim that a traditional retailer should focus on its brick-and-mortar stores, without providing any additional information about the industry, economy or the market conditions. This is akin to providing the bare minimum information and deriving a large conclusion, while ignoring other innumerous variables that may be affecting the main conclusion. In case the market is performing poorly, which contributed to the losses of online retailers in the previous quarter, it is possible for physical stores to have incurred heavier losses due to higher operating costs. So, Olympus may be looking to offset its operating costs such as rent, utilities, salaries etc. by shifting a part of its business online. This is an entirely valid possibility that goes against the conclusion drawn by the prompt. Additionally, Olympus may be looking to expand in new geographic areas, but opening stores in those new places might be a risky venture, so it may start online operations and then expand its physical outlets in the new region, if the online business does well.
In conclusion, we have pointed out the flaws that this argument suffers from. And accordingly, its claim regarding Olympus’s expansion strategy has been called into question as well. We need additional relevant data and information to make a stronger claim.
13 May 2023, 23:22
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AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5.5/6
The essay is well-structured and flows logically from one point to the other. The writer has used appropriate transitional phrases to connect ideas and arguments, making it easy for the reader to follow along.
Word structure: 5.5/6
The essay is well-written with a good variety of sentence structures and vocabulary. The writer has used appropriate vocabulary to express their ideas, and their sentences are well-constructed and easy to understand.
Paragraph structure and formation: 5/6
The essay has a clear and effective paragraph structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point. However, some of the paragraphs could be shorter and more concise.
Language and Grammar: 6/6
The writer has demonstrated a good command of the English language, with very few grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. The language used is appropriate for the intended audience.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5.5/6
The writer has used a good range of vocabulary, and their choice of words is appropriate for the topic. There are a few instances where the writer could have used more precise or impactful language to convey their ideas.
Overall, the essay is well-written and effectively critiques the argument presented in the prompt. The writer has identified the flaws in the argument and provided evidence to support their counterarguments. The essay could benefit from some minor improvements in paragraph structure and vocabulary, but overall it is a strong piece of analytical writing.
Coherence and connectivity: 5.5/6
The essay is well-structured and flows logically from one point to the other. The writer has used appropriate transitional phrases to connect ideas and arguments, making it easy for the reader to follow along.
Word structure: 5.5/6
The essay is well-written with a good variety of sentence structures and vocabulary. The writer has used appropriate vocabulary to express their ideas, and their sentences are well-constructed and easy to understand.
Paragraph structure and formation: 5/6
The essay has a clear and effective paragraph structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point. However, some of the paragraphs could be shorter and more concise.
Language and Grammar: 6/6
The writer has demonstrated a good command of the English language, with very few grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. The language used is appropriate for the intended audience.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5.5/6
The writer has used a good range of vocabulary, and their choice of words is appropriate for the topic. There are a few instances where the writer could have used more precise or impactful language to convey their ideas.
Overall, the essay is well-written and effectively critiques the argument presented in the prompt. The writer has identified the flaws in the argument and provided evidence to support their counterarguments. The essay could benefit from some minor improvements in paragraph structure and vocabulary, but overall it is a strong piece of analytical writing.
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