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21 Nov 2023, 09:38
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Hi guys, can you please evaluate this attempt? Thank you!
“The following appeared as part of an article in the business section of a local newspaper.
Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers—some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some Other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track.
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion."
The argument tries to address why a foreign copy of the American motorcycle X has failed to attract motorcycle X customers. Some argue that the lack of the loud noise made by motorcycle X is one of the causes, but according to the author, this explanation is not sufficient. Stated in this way, the argument misrepresents facts and provides a distorted view of the situation. Furthermore, the argument fails to address several key factors based on which it cannot be evaluated. The conclusion of the argument relies on several assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is rather weak, unconvincing, and has several flaws.
First, the argument readily assumes that noise is not sufficient as an explanation for the low sales of the foreign copy of motorcycle X in America as foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. This statemen is clearly a stretch, as it assumes that motorcycle and car customers have the exact same needs. Indeed, it might be the case that for motorcycle buyers the noise made by a motorcycle is extremely relevant when selecting a particular model. The argument would have been much clearer if it explicitly stated that noise is not a relevant factor when selecting a specific motorcycle.
Second, the argument claims that it is impossible to understand that the foreign copy of motorcycle X makes less noise than the original American one as advertisements do not reproduce the engine roar. This is again a very weak and unsupportive claim as the argument does not demonstrate the existence of a correlation between advertisements and sales. Indeed, it might be the case that even though advertisements help to spread the new motorcycle model, the motorcycle is tested by potential customers before the purchase, realizing that the noise produced is less than the original American model. The argument would have been more effective if it described whether potential customers test the product before purchasing it.
Finally, the argument fails to address several questions. For instance, how much is the noise produced by the motorcycle relevant for prospective buyers? To which extent are prospective buyers of motorcycles influenced by advertisements seen on TV? Without convincing answers to these questions, one is left with the impression that the argument is wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the argument is weak for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. Indeed, the author fails to address several relevant facts such as what elements do motorcycle buyers look for in motorcycles, or whether advertisements are very effective in impacting their consumption decisions.
“The following appeared as part of an article in the business section of a local newspaper.
Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers—some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some Other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track.
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion."
The argument tries to address why a foreign copy of the American motorcycle X has failed to attract motorcycle X customers. Some argue that the lack of the loud noise made by motorcycle X is one of the causes, but according to the author, this explanation is not sufficient. Stated in this way, the argument misrepresents facts and provides a distorted view of the situation. Furthermore, the argument fails to address several key factors based on which it cannot be evaluated. The conclusion of the argument relies on several assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is rather weak, unconvincing, and has several flaws.
First, the argument readily assumes that noise is not sufficient as an explanation for the low sales of the foreign copy of motorcycle X in America as foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. This statemen is clearly a stretch, as it assumes that motorcycle and car customers have the exact same needs. Indeed, it might be the case that for motorcycle buyers the noise made by a motorcycle is extremely relevant when selecting a particular model. The argument would have been much clearer if it explicitly stated that noise is not a relevant factor when selecting a specific motorcycle.
Second, the argument claims that it is impossible to understand that the foreign copy of motorcycle X makes less noise than the original American one as advertisements do not reproduce the engine roar. This is again a very weak and unsupportive claim as the argument does not demonstrate the existence of a correlation between advertisements and sales. Indeed, it might be the case that even though advertisements help to spread the new motorcycle model, the motorcycle is tested by potential customers before the purchase, realizing that the noise produced is less than the original American model. The argument would have been more effective if it described whether potential customers test the product before purchasing it.
Finally, the argument fails to address several questions. For instance, how much is the noise produced by the motorcycle relevant for prospective buyers? To which extent are prospective buyers of motorcycles influenced by advertisements seen on TV? Without convincing answers to these questions, one is left with the impression that the argument is wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the argument is weak for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. Indeed, the author fails to address several relevant facts such as what elements do motorcycle buyers look for in motorcycles, or whether advertisements are very effective in impacting their consumption decisions.
21 Nov 2023, 11:49
Kudos
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AWA Score: 5 - 5.5 out of 6
Coherence and Connectivity: 5.5/6
The essay maintains a high level of coherence and connectivity throughout. The ideas are logically organized, and there is a clear progression from one point to the next. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are generally smooth. However, there are a few instances where the connection between ideas could be made more explicit for even greater coherence.
Word Structure: 5/6
The essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary and word structure. There is a variety of sentence structures, and the language used is precise and appropriate. However, there are a few instances where sentence structure could be further diversified to enhance the overall quality of expression.
Paragraph Structure and Formation: 5.5/6
The essay has well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to the overall analysis. However, in a couple of instances, the transitions between paragraphs could be more seamless for improved flow.
Language and Grammar: 5.5/6
The language and grammar are generally strong, with few errors. The essay effectively communicates the intended ideas. However, there are a couple of instances where minor grammatical issues, such as subject-verb agreement, could be addressed for enhanced precision.
Vocabulary and Word Expression: 5/6
The vocabulary choices contribute to a clear and sophisticated expression of ideas. The essay uses appropriate terminology to convey its arguments effectively. However, there is room for a slight expansion of vocabulary in certain areas to elevate the overall richness of expression.
In summary, the essay is well-crafted and effectively analyzes the given argument. Minor improvements in coherence, word structure, and grammar could further enhance its overall quality.
Coherence and Connectivity: 5.5/6
The essay maintains a high level of coherence and connectivity throughout. The ideas are logically organized, and there is a clear progression from one point to the next. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are generally smooth. However, there are a few instances where the connection between ideas could be made more explicit for even greater coherence.
Word Structure: 5/6
The essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary and word structure. There is a variety of sentence structures, and the language used is precise and appropriate. However, there are a few instances where sentence structure could be further diversified to enhance the overall quality of expression.
Paragraph Structure and Formation: 5.5/6
The essay has well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to the overall analysis. However, in a couple of instances, the transitions between paragraphs could be more seamless for improved flow.
Language and Grammar: 5.5/6
The language and grammar are generally strong, with few errors. The essay effectively communicates the intended ideas. However, there are a couple of instances where minor grammatical issues, such as subject-verb agreement, could be addressed for enhanced precision.
Vocabulary and Word Expression: 5/6
The vocabulary choices contribute to a clear and sophisticated expression of ideas. The essay uses appropriate terminology to convey its arguments effectively. However, there is room for a slight expansion of vocabulary in certain areas to elevate the overall richness of expression.
In summary, the essay is well-crafted and effectively analyzes the given argument. Minor improvements in coherence, word structure, and grammar could further enhance its overall quality.
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