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20 Jan 2024, 08:12
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Please review and provide feedback for this AWA essay
“The producers of the forthcoming movie 3003 will be most likely to maximize their profits if they are willing to pay Robin Good several million dollars to star in it—even though that amount is far more than any other person involved with the movie will make. After all, Robin has in the past been paid a similar amount to work in several films that were very financially successful.”
Essay:
The argument states that the producers of the movie would be able to maximise their profits if they pay a sum of money that is more than any other person involved in the movie, to Robin Good. As it currently stands, the argument relies on several assumptions without any evidence and factual data to back the reasoning presented. Consequently, it has a few flaws that make the argument as a whole unsound and unconvincing.
Firstly, production of a movie has several components that a production team looks at, not just one actor who is being paid a huge sum of money. The argument states that the producers will still be able to maximise their profits if they pay Robin Good several million dollars to star in the film. However, it fails to consider other factors, for example the money paid to co-actors, travel costs, and other set related costs. Not including these other factors into consideration would not rightly justify the claim that the producers would be profitable. If a proper cost-benefit analysis was presented it could strengthen the argument.
Secondly, there is also an assumption that if they pay this huge sum to Robin Good in particular, the movie production would maximise profits. However, it fails to consider that let's say all other costs are kept under the productions’ budget, it is possible the movie doesn't perform as per their expectations, for instance due to Robin Good's sub-par performance. So making this point would be assumptious if not backed by clear evidences and factual data.
Lastly, the argument is also basing its conclusion on Robin Good's previous works where the star was paid similar sum of money and the film turned out to be successful. There is a possibility, that things might work here as well, but if something works in one scenario does not mean it can be applied, and it would surely work in another scenario. What if the storyline presented by the producers is not well-formed? What if the co-actors' performance is not up to the mark? What if Robin Good gets sick during the shoot? These factors change the situation as a whole, considering which, we cannot apply the findings from his previous works in this case.
In conclusion the argument is not convincing because of the above mentioned flawed reasoning. If the author had clearly presented factual information, a cost-benefit analysis and not linked one work of art to another without clear evidence, it could have strengthened the argument. In its current state, the argument has several flaws, is weak and unsound.
“The producers of the forthcoming movie 3003 will be most likely to maximize their profits if they are willing to pay Robin Good several million dollars to star in it—even though that amount is far more than any other person involved with the movie will make. After all, Robin has in the past been paid a similar amount to work in several films that were very financially successful.”
Essay:
The argument states that the producers of the movie would be able to maximise their profits if they pay a sum of money that is more than any other person involved in the movie, to Robin Good. As it currently stands, the argument relies on several assumptions without any evidence and factual data to back the reasoning presented. Consequently, it has a few flaws that make the argument as a whole unsound and unconvincing.
Firstly, production of a movie has several components that a production team looks at, not just one actor who is being paid a huge sum of money. The argument states that the producers will still be able to maximise their profits if they pay Robin Good several million dollars to star in the film. However, it fails to consider other factors, for example the money paid to co-actors, travel costs, and other set related costs. Not including these other factors into consideration would not rightly justify the claim that the producers would be profitable. If a proper cost-benefit analysis was presented it could strengthen the argument.
Secondly, there is also an assumption that if they pay this huge sum to Robin Good in particular, the movie production would maximise profits. However, it fails to consider that let's say all other costs are kept under the productions’ budget, it is possible the movie doesn't perform as per their expectations, for instance due to Robin Good's sub-par performance. So making this point would be assumptious if not backed by clear evidences and factual data.
Lastly, the argument is also basing its conclusion on Robin Good's previous works where the star was paid similar sum of money and the film turned out to be successful. There is a possibility, that things might work here as well, but if something works in one scenario does not mean it can be applied, and it would surely work in another scenario. What if the storyline presented by the producers is not well-formed? What if the co-actors' performance is not up to the mark? What if Robin Good gets sick during the shoot? These factors change the situation as a whole, considering which, we cannot apply the findings from his previous works in this case.
In conclusion the argument is not convincing because of the above mentioned flawed reasoning. If the author had clearly presented factual information, a cost-benefit analysis and not linked one work of art to another without clear evidence, it could have strengthened the argument. In its current state, the argument has several flaws, is weak and unsound.
20 Jan 2024, 15:06
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AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6
Coherence and Connectivity: 5.5
The essay maintains overall coherence, but there are a few instances where the connection between ideas could be more seamless. Transitions between paragraphs are generally clear, but some refinement in connecting certain points could enhance coherence.
Word Structure: 6
The essay employs a diverse and appropriate range of vocabulary. Sentences are well-constructed, and the language is clear and effective. The essay demonstrates a strong command of word structure.
Paragraph Structure and Formation: 5.5
Each paragraph has a clear structure with a topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. However, there are a few areas where the development of ideas within paragraphs could be more nuanced and focused, contributing to a more cohesive overall argument.
Language and Grammar: 6
The essay exhibits a strong command of language and grammar. Sentences are well-constructed, and there are minimal grammatical errors. The language used is formal and suitable for an analytical essay.
Vocabulary and Word Expression: 5.5
While the vocabulary is generally strong, there are a few instances where more precise or sophisticated word choices could enhance expression. Overall, the essay effectively conveys ideas but could benefit from slight improvements in vocabulary.
Overall, the essay is well-structured and exhibits a strong command of language and grammar. Some minor refinements in coherence and vocabulary could further enhance its effectiveness.
Coherence and Connectivity: 5.5
The essay maintains overall coherence, but there are a few instances where the connection between ideas could be more seamless. Transitions between paragraphs are generally clear, but some refinement in connecting certain points could enhance coherence.
Word Structure: 6
The essay employs a diverse and appropriate range of vocabulary. Sentences are well-constructed, and the language is clear and effective. The essay demonstrates a strong command of word structure.
Paragraph Structure and Formation: 5.5
Each paragraph has a clear structure with a topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. However, there are a few areas where the development of ideas within paragraphs could be more nuanced and focused, contributing to a more cohesive overall argument.
Language and Grammar: 6
The essay exhibits a strong command of language and grammar. Sentences are well-constructed, and there are minimal grammatical errors. The language used is formal and suitable for an analytical essay.
Vocabulary and Word Expression: 5.5
While the vocabulary is generally strong, there are a few instances where more precise or sophisticated word choices could enhance expression. Overall, the essay effectively conveys ideas but could benefit from slight improvements in vocabulary.
Overall, the essay is well-structured and exhibits a strong command of language and grammar. Some minor refinements in coherence and vocabulary could further enhance its effectiveness.
shivesh0802
22 Jan 2024, 06:17
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If in case there is a shortage of time and I am able to present just 2 flaws with proper reasoning, would I score less for not presenting 3 flaws?
