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26 Jan 2024, 01:36
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Question - “Since a competing lower-priced newspaper, The Bugle, was started five years ago, The Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers. The best way to get more people to read The Mercury is to reduce its price below that of The Bugle, at least until circulation increases to former levels. The increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper.”
Response - The argument claims that an a decrease in the circulation of The Mercury is due to the commencement of The Bulge. The conclusion is based on the premise that the readership has decreased since the prices of The Bulge is comparatively lower. The argument is relies on the assumption for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and flawed in several ways.
First, the argument readily assumes that a decrease in price of The Mercury to a lower price than that of the Bulge will at least increase circulation to former levels. It fails to mention other factors such as the quality of articles being published in both the newspapers, the format of the newspaper and the topics of focus in both the newspapers which could have led to a decrease in the readership for The Mercury and not necessarily the price of The Bulge.
Second, the argument could have been clearer if it provides any other evidence of a launch of a lower priced newspaper affecting the sales of this newspaper. If such evidence was stated, The Mercury can take the learnings from that period and implement the same to attract more readers. The argument does not state if any steps were taken in the last five years since the launch of The Bulge to reduce prices and increase readership.
Third, the argument does not state any steps in the duration between the reduced prices at The Mercury being live and the increased circulation which will attract customers to buy advertising space. The argument does not state the feasibility of such a decrease from the current prices and no visibility with regard to the sustenance of The Mercury in the event of the reduced price.
Finally, the argument fails to mention one of the key factors the basis of which it could be evaluated is the deterioration of the quality of news published in The Mercury. The argument does not state evidence to suggest that editors have moved from The Mercury to other newspaper establishments which could result in a decrease in the quality of news and a resultant decrease in circulation of The Mercury.
Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
Response - The argument claims that an a decrease in the circulation of The Mercury is due to the commencement of The Bulge. The conclusion is based on the premise that the readership has decreased since the prices of The Bulge is comparatively lower. The argument is relies on the assumption for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and flawed in several ways.
First, the argument readily assumes that a decrease in price of The Mercury to a lower price than that of the Bulge will at least increase circulation to former levels. It fails to mention other factors such as the quality of articles being published in both the newspapers, the format of the newspaper and the topics of focus in both the newspapers which could have led to a decrease in the readership for The Mercury and not necessarily the price of The Bulge.
Second, the argument could have been clearer if it provides any other evidence of a launch of a lower priced newspaper affecting the sales of this newspaper. If such evidence was stated, The Mercury can take the learnings from that period and implement the same to attract more readers. The argument does not state if any steps were taken in the last five years since the launch of The Bulge to reduce prices and increase readership.
Third, the argument does not state any steps in the duration between the reduced prices at The Mercury being live and the increased circulation which will attract customers to buy advertising space. The argument does not state the feasibility of such a decrease from the current prices and no visibility with regard to the sustenance of The Mercury in the event of the reduced price.
Finally, the argument fails to mention one of the key factors the basis of which it could be evaluated is the deterioration of the quality of news published in The Mercury. The argument does not state evidence to suggest that editors have moved from The Mercury to other newspaper establishments which could result in a decrease in the quality of news and a resultant decrease in circulation of The Mercury.
Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
27 Jan 2024, 03:30
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AWA Score: 4 out of 6
Coherence and Connectivity: 4/6
The essay exhibits some coherence, but there are instances where the ideas could be more clearly connected. The flow between sentences and paragraphs is generally reasonable, but a more seamless transition between ideas would enhance the overall coherence.
Word Structure: 4/6
While the essay is generally clear, there are instances of awkward phrasing and unclear expressions. For example, the repeated use of "The Bulge" instead of the correct term "The Bugle" might be a typographical error. Some sentences could benefit from restructuring to improve clarity. Vocabulary choices are adequate but could be more varied for greater precision.
Paragraph Structure and Formation: 3/6
The paragraph structure lacks consistency. While the essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, the development of ideas within the paragraphs could be more organized. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the argument, and the transitions between paragraphs need improvement for a more logical flow.
Language and Grammar: 4/6
There are several grammatical errors in the essay, including missing articles, unclear pronoun references, and awkward sentence constructions. Proofreading for grammatical accuracy is necessary. Additionally, the phrase "The Bulge" should be corrected to "The Bugle" for accuracy.
Vocabulary and Word Expression: 3/6
The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, and there is room for improvement in terms of using more varied and sophisticated language. Certain phrases, such as "learnt from that period," could be revised for better expression. Introducing a wider range of vocabulary would enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Mistakes and Errors:
The repeated use of "The Bulge" instead of the correct term "The Bugle."
"The argument is relies" - The correct phrasing is "The argument relies."
"If such evidence was stated, The Mercury can take the learnings from that period" - The sentence lacks clarity; it could be rephrased for better expression.
"The argument does not state if any steps were taken in the last five years since the launch of The Bulge" - Correct "Bulge" to "Bugle."
Overall, the essay has potential but requires revisions to address coherence, word structure, paragraph formation, language, and vocabulary issues. Addressing these aspects will contribute to a more polished and effective analytical response.
Coherence and Connectivity: 4/6
The essay exhibits some coherence, but there are instances where the ideas could be more clearly connected. The flow between sentences and paragraphs is generally reasonable, but a more seamless transition between ideas would enhance the overall coherence.
Word Structure: 4/6
While the essay is generally clear, there are instances of awkward phrasing and unclear expressions. For example, the repeated use of "The Bulge" instead of the correct term "The Bugle" might be a typographical error. Some sentences could benefit from restructuring to improve clarity. Vocabulary choices are adequate but could be more varied for greater precision.
Paragraph Structure and Formation: 3/6
The paragraph structure lacks consistency. While the essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, the development of ideas within the paragraphs could be more organized. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the argument, and the transitions between paragraphs need improvement for a more logical flow.
Language and Grammar: 4/6
There are several grammatical errors in the essay, including missing articles, unclear pronoun references, and awkward sentence constructions. Proofreading for grammatical accuracy is necessary. Additionally, the phrase "The Bulge" should be corrected to "The Bugle" for accuracy.
Vocabulary and Word Expression: 3/6
The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, and there is room for improvement in terms of using more varied and sophisticated language. Certain phrases, such as "learnt from that period," could be revised for better expression. Introducing a wider range of vocabulary would enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Mistakes and Errors:
The repeated use of "The Bulge" instead of the correct term "The Bugle."
"The argument is relies" - The correct phrasing is "The argument relies."
"If such evidence was stated, The Mercury can take the learnings from that period" - The sentence lacks clarity; it could be rephrased for better expression.
"The argument does not state if any steps were taken in the last five years since the launch of The Bulge" - Correct "Bulge" to "Bugle."
Overall, the essay has potential but requires revisions to address coherence, word structure, paragraph formation, language, and vocabulary issues. Addressing these aspects will contribute to a more polished and effective analytical response.
AnirudhGoda
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