My preparation for GMAT started about exactly a year ago, in March '20 I decided I wanted to apply to a certain school, thats when my preparation
really began, but due to COVID, my programs application deadline got extended. 22 days before the deadline (at this point I have already put in 7 months of intense study) I sat for the Online exam.
I overprepared in paranoia, since I am at a location where network isn't great, I arranged for ethernet, I arranged for a UPS in case there was a powercut, and even had a backup laptop in place. I completed the ID and room picture requirements for which I used my phone.
I hit the refresh button but then remembered reading something about the phone not being in the view, so I left my seat for maybe 5 seconds, to go and put on a table beside me. At the time the webcam was not on, but as I came back, the web cam had turned on and there was a red box and a red button that said recording. At this point I knew something had gone wrong. Moved to the next page - instructions, when I contact the proctor via chat to ask something about the break.
The first message I get from the proctor ...
Sorry we are going to have to revoke your test because you left the screen view. I begged and pleaded and explained that I had just gone to keep my phone but she did not budge. She generated a case no. for me and asked me to wait for 3-5 business days for a resolution. This happened on a Friday, so I had to wait till Monday to call Pearson. They informed me that the incidence that has occurred is a violation of policy and the attempt will be counted, which means I can only give my 2nd attempt after 16 days. One of the operators (I made 3 phone calls to 3 different operators) went so far as to say I may not be allowed to give the exam at all because of this policy violation because I had apparently reached out for my phone, a complete distortion of what actually happened. This particular operator scared me a little and so I called 2 more, they carefully reviewed my case and informed me I would be able to take a second attempt. No word on re-imbursement of the exam fees.
Already pretty shaken up by the turn of events after the first scheduled test, I booked a slot at Delhi in a testing center. Miraculously I found one, 3 days before my deadline, while still 16 days away from the first test.
A little bit of background , I mostly study at night, 6:30-7 p.m. onwards to 3 am in the morning. I am a night owl, and currently live with 4 other family members, so I find that that is a quieter and more peaceful time of the day to study. So I had booked my slot for 5 pm.
Fast forward to today. Went to the test center an hour early and they let me begin my exam early. In the second quarter of the quant section I stubbornly stuck to one question which I knew I could get, but that took me some extra minutes, which cost me dearly in the last quarter of the section. Throughout quant, I had a funny feeling that I was doing the questions but I was not SURE SURE of them, as I would be on other tests. I ended up having to guessing on the last 3-4 questions.
I took the 8 minute break. Something I am not used to, because all the while I had practiced breaks only for GMAT Online, which gives only a 1 minute break. I am not sure how much of an influence this was on my performance. Went to the loo, had water and a little piece of chocolate. Sat back on my seat.
I got the first question and I find that I am unable to focus.. I read the first question 4 times maybe, until I finally moved on. First 6 questions and I was already behind time. This lag kept pace with me all throughout the exam, even though I skipped 2-3 questions, to keep pace with the timer. In the last 6 questions I maybe guessed 4. And the feeling that I was not SURE SURE of my answer, stuck through this sections as well. I could feel it in my heart that I had bombed the test, yet held on to that tiny fraction of hope that my luck might have saved my guesses.
I went through IR and AWA as a formality and funnily enough I think I might've actually done well in the AWA section, the only section I was semi-proud of.
I clicked next with 38 seconds left on the timer. I knew I had done badly and was already feeling low. But I didn't know I had done THAT BADLY. 530. My heart sank.
For reference, I have never scored below 550 in ANY full length MOCK .
e-GMAT Free mock - 550 (1 month into prep)
GMAT Prep 1 - 600 (after 3 more months of preparation)
MGMAT1 - 600
GMAR Prep 2 - 660 (after 2 more months of preparation, gave PREP 2,3, and 4, 4 days apart)
GMAT Prep 3 - 670
GMAT Prep 4 - 610 (I got all 4 RC's after the first 16 q's, majorly behind on time)
Post GMAT Online fiasco, regave
GMAT Prep 1 - 680
GMAT Prep 2 - 710
And I gave several other mocks before that from the test prep company I was preparing from.
So, what was it? Anxiety of impending deadline which is 3 days later? Timing, not used to brain being active at 5 pm? Pressure of having spent 7 months and about 70k rupees ? Lack of prep? Constant delays in giving the exam? Saturation? Or the worst luck in the world?
A convenient explanation would be - it was not meant to happen to happen for me, considering all the hurdles I faced in the journey, which is what my family would tell me. "This attempt was jinxed".
BTW, 19 days later, still no reply from GMAC/Pearson about my $250 'first attempt' fees. And reading some of the posts here on GMAT Club, I don't think I am getting that money back.
After 7 months of effort and spending everything I had earned in college life on this 1 attempt on GMAT and bombing it, I feel horrible and upset. I am demotivated and demoralized and don't feel like I should try for GMAT again. With the deadline 3 days away I don't have even a single ray of hope. Looking back I can't help but think about the 7 months, amount of money I wasted and the opportunities I passed up on because of this. Already because of COVID looking for jobs on ones own as a fresher is next to impossible and looking back I passed up on some opportunities I probably can't get back, because I wanted to focus on just GMAT for that time. It would have been nice to at least have something in hand. Things couldn't be worse.
I am sorry that this is a dark post, and I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I just can't see it right now.
But in the period of preparation, when I though I could crack GMAT with a good score, this forum was of great help to me. Thankyou
Bunuel for this community and
GMATNinja for your amazing content on Verbal . I wrote this post, mostly for the sake of writing, coming to terms with this horrible episode, but also to give back something to the community.
If nothing else, a reader could take away what not to do during their GMAT Online attempt.
-Until next time, if there is a next time.