1/30 essays I wrote, please rate if it is not too much to ask
[#permalink]
24 Feb 2019, 02:11
The following appeared in a memo from the customer service division to the manager of Mammon Savings and Loan:
“We believe that improved customer service is the best way for us to differentiate ourselves from competitors and attract new customers. We can offer our customers better service by reducing waiting time in teller lines from an average of six minutes to an average of three. By opening for business at 8:30 instead of 9:00, and by remaining open for an additional hour beyond our current closing time, we will be better able to accommodate the busy schedules of our customers. These changes will enhance our bank’s image as the most customer‐friendly bank in town and give us the edge over our competition.”
Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.
TAKE APART THE ARGUMENT
The author of a memo in the customer service division claims that in order to enhance the bank’s image the customer service needs to be improved.
2) SELECT THE POINTS YOU’LL MAKE
[*] customer-friendly is not when a bank works more, but when it provides services efficiently. If any other bank in the town extends its working hours then the difference between them will fade.
[*]the author bases his argument on the need to increase working hours, however there is no data regarding busy hours. If there is no people at the bank from 8:30 to 9:00 and still a huge queue at 14 then why paying workers for an additional hour they work?
3) Organize your essay template & write
The author of a memo in the customer service division claims that in order to enhance the bank’s image the customer service needs to be improved. The first suggestion is to reduce waiting time in teller lines. The second suggestion is to work extra hours. However, these ideas do not constitute logical evidence in favour of the change. The author fails to take into account factors relevant to bank expenses, workers KPI and to advocate for the necessity to increase them by providing statistics.
Firstly, the argument depends upon a misleading assumption that if the bank is open at early and late hours customers will spend less time queuing. In fact, customers visit a bank when it suits them the most and if long queues happen in the middle of a day then extended hours would not solve the problem. Moreover, the bank will have to increase salaries for its workers, but for the reason mentioned above this action may be obsolete.
Secondly, the author assumes that if waiting time in teller lines is decreased from six to three minutes, then the bank’s image will give the edge over its rivals. It is easier said than done, because if workers rush to satisfy more customers in given time there is a higher possibility they will make mistakes. In its turn, this hurry will leave customers dissatisfied with the service which may give an opposite result. Besides, business strength should be something that is sufficient and hard for other entities to imitate. If other banks follow the same concept, of reducing teller lines and opening early in the end, this bank will be just the same as others.
As the argument now stands, it does not read as either persuasive or cogent. The author should provide statistics regarding the bank’s busy hours and workers KPI and rely his argument on specific improvements instead of giving out general advice. The author can solidify the argument by analysing other banks in the area, their teller lines timing and busy hours. Until then, the poorly reasoned argument will likely convince few people.