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11 Dec 2018, 09:29
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Dear GMAT Club Community,
I am giving my GMAT paper on Friday and hence request your help to evaluate my AWA essays.
Given below are 2 Essays. Kindly request you to evaluate and grade them. Any Comments and Feedback are appreciated.
Thank you
Q1- “The Excelsior Company plans to introduce its own brand of coffee. Since coffee is an expensive food item, and since there are already many established brands of coffee, the best way to gain customers for the Excelsior brand is to do what Superior, the leading coffee company, did when it introduced the newest brand in its line of coffees: conduct a temporary sales promotion that offers free samples, price reductions, and discount coupons for the new brand.”
A1- The argument states that Excelsior Company wants to enter the expensive Coffee Market by launching a new brand of coffee. Due to the intense competition in the market, Excelsior decides to copy the strategy of the market leader, Superior did when Superior introduced a new brand of coffee: conduct a temporary sales promotion that offers free samples, price reductions, and discount coupons for the new brand. The argument makes many assumptions without providing evidence to support them.
The argument states the Excelsior will copy the strategy of the market leader, Superior, in a move called Copycat Marketing. However, it is difficult to conclude that this strategy will be successful for Excelsior in establishing their brand of coffee. For starters, the circumstances when Superior introduced their brand if coffee and entered the market could be substantially different from the current coffee market Excelsior plans to enter. Moreover, it is not mentioned in the argument when Superior introduced their brand of coffee. While the argument does mention that Superior introduced their newest brand, the timeline is not mentioned. The newest brand Superior introduced could have been a couple years ago as well. Hence, owing to the different market conditions, it is difficult to conclude that copying Superior’s strategy will be successful.
The argument fails to mention details about the coffee brand Excelsior intends on launching. The quality of coffee, its price, the consumer position Excelsior intends to take et cetera are not mentioned. For all we know, Superior and Excelsior may follow different business models. Maybe Superior has a chain of coffee stores under its brand while Excelsior is looking to sell to patrons who brew their own coffee at work or home. Here, what promotional activities worked for Superior may not work for Excelsior owing to different target audiences. While the crux of the matter remains the same, Excelsior may need to tweak its strategy to suit its business model rather blindly copying Superior’s promotional strategies.
The argument mentions the Superior holds a dominant position in the coffee market. Challenging the market leader head on by copying the leader’s strategy may not be a good decision for a new entrant like Excelsior. Being the market leader, Superior has extensive market knowledge and resources at its disposal. If Superior feels threatened by Excelsior, Superior can easily exert its weight and match or even better Excelsior’s promotional strategies. In such a scenario, Excelsior will never be able to make a name in the market.
Keeping the above points in mind, it is not possible to conclude that Excelsior will be successful if it copies Superior’s promotional strategies. Hence, the argument is flawed and does not hold true. The argument can be strengthened it mentions relevant data points for both Superior and Excelsior and backs its assumptions with evidence.
Q2- “As overall life expectancy continues to rise, the population of our country is growing increasingly older. For example, more than 20 percent of the residents of one of our more populated regions are now at least 65 years old, and occupancy rates at resort hotels in that region declined significantly during the past six months. Because of these two related trends, a prudent investor would be well advised to sell interest in hotels and invest in hospitals and nursing homes instead.”
A2- The argument talks about the increasing life expectancy in a country and gives an example of a populated region where 20 percent of the residents are now at least 65 years old. The argument further states that the in the last 6 months, occupancy rates in resort hotels have declined. Based on these statements, the argument advises investors to sell interest in resorts and invest in hospitals and nursing homes because the number of older people is going to increase in the country. This argument makes too any assumptions to arrive to its conclusion and is inherently flawed.
The argument states that one populated region has 20% of the residents above the age of 65. It however does not mention the number of old people in other regions of the country. There is no data that points towards the number of old people in other regions of the country. Maybe the populated region has access to better healthcare than other regions in the country and hence life expectancy in the populated region could be higher than other regions in the country.
The argument also fails to mention the reason for the decline in occupancy rates in resort hotels over the last 6 months. Surely the decline cannot be attributed to the increased life expectancy. Maybe this is currently the off season for tourists and hence occupancy rates have declined. The argument does not mention in which region have occupancy rates declined- The populated region or at an overall country level. Further, the argument assumes that resorts cater to younger audiences and younger people. This is also not true. Many resorts have ample of activities for older people as well.
The argument mentions that the trends of decline in occupancy rates and increase in life expectancy are co-related but fails to mention any data that establishes the relationship between the trends. The argument considers a time frame of 6 months for occupancy rates in hotels but the time period from which life expectancy is tracked or measured is not given. To establish a relationship between any two trends, one has to take the same base year. Here, while we know the period from which occupancy rates are tracked, the time period for which life expectancy is tracked in unknown.
The argument concludes by stating that investors should sell their interests in resort hotels and invest in hospitals and nursing homes. It clearly assumes that investments in hospitals and nursing homes to be long term. However, making a long term strategy based on trends over the last 6 months is not justified. More ever, relevant data like growth of the hotel industry vis-à-vis growth of the hospital industry and other important industry parameters have to be considered before making a long term investment strategy. Maybe the resort industry is expected to grow at a faster rate than the hospital industry. Hence it is not safe to make a long term strategy based on minor short term trends.
Keeping the above points in mind, it is safe to say that the argument is inherently flawed and makes too many assumptions and fails to give adequate evidence to support its claims. This argument would be better structured if it mentions key data points like life expectancy in other regions of the country, reason for the decline in occupancy rated, industry data for resorts and hospitals etc.
I am giving my GMAT paper on Friday and hence request your help to evaluate my AWA essays.
Given below are 2 Essays. Kindly request you to evaluate and grade them. Any Comments and Feedback are appreciated.
Thank you
Q1- “The Excelsior Company plans to introduce its own brand of coffee. Since coffee is an expensive food item, and since there are already many established brands of coffee, the best way to gain customers for the Excelsior brand is to do what Superior, the leading coffee company, did when it introduced the newest brand in its line of coffees: conduct a temporary sales promotion that offers free samples, price reductions, and discount coupons for the new brand.”
A1- The argument states that Excelsior Company wants to enter the expensive Coffee Market by launching a new brand of coffee. Due to the intense competition in the market, Excelsior decides to copy the strategy of the market leader, Superior did when Superior introduced a new brand of coffee: conduct a temporary sales promotion that offers free samples, price reductions, and discount coupons for the new brand. The argument makes many assumptions without providing evidence to support them.
The argument states the Excelsior will copy the strategy of the market leader, Superior, in a move called Copycat Marketing. However, it is difficult to conclude that this strategy will be successful for Excelsior in establishing their brand of coffee. For starters, the circumstances when Superior introduced their brand if coffee and entered the market could be substantially different from the current coffee market Excelsior plans to enter. Moreover, it is not mentioned in the argument when Superior introduced their brand of coffee. While the argument does mention that Superior introduced their newest brand, the timeline is not mentioned. The newest brand Superior introduced could have been a couple years ago as well. Hence, owing to the different market conditions, it is difficult to conclude that copying Superior’s strategy will be successful.
The argument fails to mention details about the coffee brand Excelsior intends on launching. The quality of coffee, its price, the consumer position Excelsior intends to take et cetera are not mentioned. For all we know, Superior and Excelsior may follow different business models. Maybe Superior has a chain of coffee stores under its brand while Excelsior is looking to sell to patrons who brew their own coffee at work or home. Here, what promotional activities worked for Superior may not work for Excelsior owing to different target audiences. While the crux of the matter remains the same, Excelsior may need to tweak its strategy to suit its business model rather blindly copying Superior’s promotional strategies.
The argument mentions the Superior holds a dominant position in the coffee market. Challenging the market leader head on by copying the leader’s strategy may not be a good decision for a new entrant like Excelsior. Being the market leader, Superior has extensive market knowledge and resources at its disposal. If Superior feels threatened by Excelsior, Superior can easily exert its weight and match or even better Excelsior’s promotional strategies. In such a scenario, Excelsior will never be able to make a name in the market.
Keeping the above points in mind, it is not possible to conclude that Excelsior will be successful if it copies Superior’s promotional strategies. Hence, the argument is flawed and does not hold true. The argument can be strengthened it mentions relevant data points for both Superior and Excelsior and backs its assumptions with evidence.
Q2- “As overall life expectancy continues to rise, the population of our country is growing increasingly older. For example, more than 20 percent of the residents of one of our more populated regions are now at least 65 years old, and occupancy rates at resort hotels in that region declined significantly during the past six months. Because of these two related trends, a prudent investor would be well advised to sell interest in hotels and invest in hospitals and nursing homes instead.”
A2- The argument talks about the increasing life expectancy in a country and gives an example of a populated region where 20 percent of the residents are now at least 65 years old. The argument further states that the in the last 6 months, occupancy rates in resort hotels have declined. Based on these statements, the argument advises investors to sell interest in resorts and invest in hospitals and nursing homes because the number of older people is going to increase in the country. This argument makes too any assumptions to arrive to its conclusion and is inherently flawed.
The argument states that one populated region has 20% of the residents above the age of 65. It however does not mention the number of old people in other regions of the country. There is no data that points towards the number of old people in other regions of the country. Maybe the populated region has access to better healthcare than other regions in the country and hence life expectancy in the populated region could be higher than other regions in the country.
The argument also fails to mention the reason for the decline in occupancy rates in resort hotels over the last 6 months. Surely the decline cannot be attributed to the increased life expectancy. Maybe this is currently the off season for tourists and hence occupancy rates have declined. The argument does not mention in which region have occupancy rates declined- The populated region or at an overall country level. Further, the argument assumes that resorts cater to younger audiences and younger people. This is also not true. Many resorts have ample of activities for older people as well.
The argument mentions that the trends of decline in occupancy rates and increase in life expectancy are co-related but fails to mention any data that establishes the relationship between the trends. The argument considers a time frame of 6 months for occupancy rates in hotels but the time period from which life expectancy is tracked or measured is not given. To establish a relationship between any two trends, one has to take the same base year. Here, while we know the period from which occupancy rates are tracked, the time period for which life expectancy is tracked in unknown.
The argument concludes by stating that investors should sell their interests in resort hotels and invest in hospitals and nursing homes. It clearly assumes that investments in hospitals and nursing homes to be long term. However, making a long term strategy based on trends over the last 6 months is not justified. More ever, relevant data like growth of the hotel industry vis-à-vis growth of the hospital industry and other important industry parameters have to be considered before making a long term investment strategy. Maybe the resort industry is expected to grow at a faster rate than the hospital industry. Hence it is not safe to make a long term strategy based on minor short term trends.
Keeping the above points in mind, it is safe to say that the argument is inherently flawed and makes too many assumptions and fails to give adequate evidence to support its claims. This argument would be better structured if it mentions key data points like life expectancy in other regions of the country, reason for the decline in occupancy rated, industry data for resorts and hospitals etc.
13 Dec 2018, 00:48
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ParthSanghavi
VeritasPrepBrian VeritasKarishma chetan2u
Dear Experts, i am giving my GMAT on the 14th.
Would really appreciate your feedback and comments on the AWA's.
Thank you
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