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27 Feb 2008, 23:40
Kudos
Bookmarks
For long have I desired to lampoon on our MBA applications. Please treat this as a confession wrapped in good natured humor and contribute your own thoughts on how folks magnify their achievements while applying.
I have presented my thoughts in the Question-Answer format below.
__________________________________________________
Its curious to think of the following typical essay questions, their "actual" answers and their "submitted" answers
1. Why do you want to do an MBA....?
Actual: I want more power, authority, and of course a ton of extra money
Submitted: Everything except the above, expressed in xxx words. The typical answers contain flavors of the following: "The country and the society is facing a terrible dearth of effective leaders. I alone can fill in that vacuum."
2. Describe a situation where you demonstrated leadership.
Actual: I led the project into a disaster.
Submitted: The company was about to be doomed had I not divinely intervened and extricated it.
3. Please mention some of your weaknesses.
Actual: Too many to fit in the stipulated word length.
Submitted: In the interest of team-work, I need to learn to suppress my immense intelligence in the presence of less-gifted co-workers (ok, this one is from Dilbert)
4. Why is xxx school best for you?
Actual: It's not. I have applied to other good schools as well.
Submitted: I m ******@@@@@#### (these characters are typically replaced with words skillfully gleaned from the B-school's website). This is exactly what xxx School is looking for in its students. Thus, I m the ideal match.
Note: I sometimes wonder how does an applicant justify his application to Yale and Chicago - schools that have quite different philosophies. The essays must be deftly altered to suit the requirements of the other school.
5. community service
Actual: I needed a valid reason to skip classes and hang out. Moreover, the opportunity of free food was very tempting.
Submitted: "Charity begins at home. For me, it began while I was still in womb. Altruism runs in my blood...."
A funny definition of marketing goes thus: "It is the ability to sell a refrigerator to an Eskimo, that too in winter". Considering this, our marketing training starts even before we start our B-school - in our essays.
_____________________________________
Hope I didnt sound too cynical.
And by the way, if you read till this point, you are either admitted to a B-school and dont know what to do with your time till August, or you are unable to concentrate in your work while hitting the refresh button every 5 minutes.
I have presented my thoughts in the Question-Answer format below.
__________________________________________________
Its curious to think of the following typical essay questions, their "actual" answers and their "submitted" answers
1. Why do you want to do an MBA....?
Actual: I want more power, authority, and of course a ton of extra money
Submitted: Everything except the above, expressed in xxx words. The typical answers contain flavors of the following: "The country and the society is facing a terrible dearth of effective leaders. I alone can fill in that vacuum."
2. Describe a situation where you demonstrated leadership.
Actual: I led the project into a disaster.
Submitted: The company was about to be doomed had I not divinely intervened and extricated it.
3. Please mention some of your weaknesses.
Actual: Too many to fit in the stipulated word length.
Submitted: In the interest of team-work, I need to learn to suppress my immense intelligence in the presence of less-gifted co-workers (ok, this one is from Dilbert)
4. Why is xxx school best for you?
Actual: It's not. I have applied to other good schools as well.
Submitted: I m ******@@@@@#### (these characters are typically replaced with words skillfully gleaned from the B-school's website). This is exactly what xxx School is looking for in its students. Thus, I m the ideal match.
Note: I sometimes wonder how does an applicant justify his application to Yale and Chicago - schools that have quite different philosophies. The essays must be deftly altered to suit the requirements of the other school.
5. community service
Actual: I needed a valid reason to skip classes and hang out. Moreover, the opportunity of free food was very tempting.
Submitted: "Charity begins at home. For me, it began while I was still in womb. Altruism runs in my blood...."
A funny definition of marketing goes thus: "It is the ability to sell a refrigerator to an Eskimo, that too in winter". Considering this, our marketing training starts even before we start our B-school - in our essays.
_____________________________________
Hope I didnt sound too cynical.
And by the way, if you read till this point, you are either admitted to a B-school and dont know what to do with your time till August, or you are unable to concentrate in your work while hitting the refresh button every 5 minutes.
28 Feb 2008, 00:23
Kudos
Bookmarks
Very nice. Be sure to check out Lepium's 7 stages - in a similar vein.
You forgot one other option: you are in b-school and "studying" for finals. I could be doing 1 of three things right now:
1. Sleeping
2. Actually studying
3. Sorta studying, but really procrastinating
I find that 2 is the most effective, while 1 means you've given up. 2 implies some hope and initiative remain, and is therefore superior to 1.
parsifal
You forgot one other option: you are in b-school and "studying" for finals. I could be doing 1 of three things right now:
1. Sleeping
2. Actually studying
3. Sorta studying, but really procrastinating
I find that 2 is the most effective, while 1 means you've given up. 2 implies some hope and initiative remain, and is therefore superior to 1.
28 Feb 2008, 06:26
Kudos
Bookmarks
aaudetat
A quick search failed to yield the thread. If you have a link, can you please point me to it. I kinda enjoy most of the discussions on this forum.
aaudetat
Amateur's oversight !
. Somehow I m harboring a strange idea that B-school schedule is unforgiving and doesnt afford such luxuries as browsing these forums. 
